Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 57

ownedbycats · 03-05-2026, 05:12 AM

I accidentally put body spray into my mouth. Now I speak with an Axe scent.

ownedbycats · 03-06-2026, 12:30 PM

I got convicted for stealing a banana. I won’t be appealing.

Fbone · 03-09-2026, 05:31 PM

Most people are shocked when they find out how incompetent I am as an electrician.

nana77 · 03-14-2026, 02:48 AM

I was checking for a vaccum cleaner; from ebay there is this one: for a Miele Boost CX1 PowerLine Lotus

Quote:

This item is used but has been fully refurbished by our in house cleaners and technicians.

LoL imho (before you check for it, it's just the main body)

Fbone · 03-18-2026, 08:43 PM

I’m not bragging or anything, but I made six figures last year, so they named me the year’s worst employee at the toy factory.

ownedbycats · 03-25-2026, 09:33 AM

Where do lizards go after their tail falls off?

The retail store.

DNSB · 03-25-2026, 04:59 PM

"If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Ruby program. The rest of them will all write Python programs."

PeterT · 03-28-2026, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

"If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Ruby program. The rest of them will all write Python programs."

None of them write APL? I'm sure that their random pounding of the keyboard would produce many valid APL programs.

ownedbycats · 03-28-2026, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

"If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Ruby program. The rest of them will all write Python programs."

93% of paint splatters are valid Perl programs.

DNSB · 03-28-2026, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterT

None of them write APL? I'm sure that their random pounding of the keyboard would produce many valid APL programs.

How could you tell that any given random string was a valid APL program? And would they have a keyboard that had the APL symbol set?

⎕←'Hello World'

DNSB · 03-28-2026, 04:37 PM

Dev 1: You kids have it easy with your "Natural Language Prompts." When I started, I actually had to type code into an IDE and use Stack Overflow to find the bugs!

Dev 2: Stack Overflow? Luxury! When I started, we had to use Emacs and memorize 400 different macros. If we got stuck, we didn't have a bookmarked website—we had to use Google and actually read the second page of results!

Dev 3: Google? We would have killed for Google! When I started, I wrote my code in vi—not even Vim, just regular vi! And for help? We had to post a question on Usenet and wait three days for a Unix greybeard to tell us we were idiots!

Dev 4: Usenet? You were living in a dream world! When I started, we didn't have "help." Or "manuals." Or "screens." I had to write an entire operating system using a hole puncher and a stack of index cards, and if I had a question, I had to consult a Ouija board to talk to the ghost of Alan Turing!

DNSB · 04-01-2026, 04:42 PM

My spouse and I never baby talk to our kids. We use full sentences and a wide vocabulary. My oldest daughter is 4 and can carry a conversation. Most adults are shocked at her social aptitude. My younger daughter isn't even 2 and she uses 4 syllable words.

Which is impressive because they are both cats.

DNSB · 04-03-2026, 10:07 PM

Where do bad rainbows go? To prism.

It's a light sentence but it gives them time to reflect.

DNSB · 04-05-2026, 07:53 PM

When I hear someone refer to themself as an "alpha male", I take that in the context of software development. An alpha version is unstable, filled with flaws, missing important features and, in general, not fit to be seen in public view.

Hmmm... that does fit most of the "alpha males" I've encountered.

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03-05-2026, 05:12 AM	#841
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,697 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I accidentally put body spray into my mouth. Now I speak with an Axe scent.

03-06-2026, 12:30 PM	#842
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,697 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I got convicted for stealing a banana. I won’t be appealing.

03-09-2026, 05:31 PM	#843
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,354 Karma: 105529930 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Most people are shocked when they find out how incompetent I am as an electrician.

03-18-2026, 08:43 PM	#845
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,354 Karma: 105529930 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I’m not bragging or anything, but I made six figures last year, so they named me the year’s worst employee at the toy factory.

03-25-2026, 09:33 AM	#846
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,697 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Where do lizards go after their tail falls off? The retail store.

03-25-2026, 04:59 PM	#847
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,252 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	"If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Ruby program. The rest of them will all write Python programs."

03-28-2026, 04:37 PM	#851
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,252 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Dev 1: You kids have it easy with your "Natural Language Prompts." When I started, I actually had to type code into an IDE and use Stack Overflow to find the bugs! Dev 2: Stack Overflow? Luxury! When I started, we had to use Emacs and memorize 400 different macros. If we got stuck, we didn't have a bookmarked website—we had to use Google and actually read the second page of results! Dev 3: Google? We would have killed for Google! When I started, I wrote my code in vi—not even Vim, just regular vi! And for help? We had to post a question on Usenet and wait three days for a Unix greybeard to tell us we were idiots! Dev 4: Usenet? You were living in a dream world! When I started, we didn't have "help." Or "manuals." Or "screens." I had to write an entire operating system using a hole puncher and a stack of index cards, and if I had a question, I had to consult a Ouija board to talk to the ghost of Alan Turing!

04-01-2026, 04:42 PM	#852
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,252 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	My spouse and I never baby talk to our kids. We use full sentences and a wide vocabulary. My oldest daughter is 4 and can carry a conversation. Most adults are shocked at her social aptitude. My younger daughter isn't even 2 and she uses 4 syllable words. Which is impressive because they are both cats.

04-03-2026, 10:07 PM	#853
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,252 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Where do bad rainbows go? To prism. It's a light sentence but it gives them time to reflect.

04-05-2026, 07:53 PM	#854
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,252 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	When I hear someone refer to themself as an "alpha male", I take that in the context of software development. An alpha version is unstable, filled with flaws, missing important features and, in general, not fit to be seen in public view. Hmmm... that does fit most of the "alpha males" I've encountered.

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