Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 780

drjd · 07-29-2022, 05:59 AM

The relatives of the family's rich dowager gathered for the reading of her will after her long awaited death.

"Being of sound mind," read the lawyer, "I spent every last cent before I died."

guanaco · 07-29-2022, 02:40 PM

Q: How did the medieval gynecologist greet his patients?
A: At your cervix, my Lady.

DNSB · 07-29-2022, 06:47 PM

Whoever said, “Do the job right the first time and you’ll never have to do it again” has never shovelled snow off a Canadian driveway.

drjd · 11-07-2022, 04:46 AM

Chemistry teacher: Did you know that protons have mass?

Student: I didn't even know they were Catholics.

DNSB · 11-07-2022, 10:13 PM

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

Fbone · 10-19-2025, 07:15 PM

I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are hard to find.

DNSB · 10-20-2025, 07:38 PM

If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?

Fbone · 10-20-2025, 09:08 PM

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

DNSB · 10-21-2025, 08:58 PM

Did you know that dropping an ant into a glass of water will tell you its gender? If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, boy ant.

poohbear_nc · 10-21-2025, 10:03 PM

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite ...

DNSB · 10-22-2025, 03:15 AM

To be frank… I’d have to change my name.

Fbone · Yesterday, 12:51 AM

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

DNSB · Yesterday, 02:24 PM

Local apartment building has one unit left. It’s last, but not leased.

badgoodDeb · Yesterday, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

I'll use that on a friend this week!

DNSB · Today, 02:54 AM

Did you hear about the passionless baker? Yeah, he doesn’t really care about his work, he just kneads the dough.

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07-29-2022, 05:59 AM	#11686
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The relatives of the family's rich dowager gathered for the reading of her will after her long awaited death. "Being of sound mind," read the lawyer, "I spent every last cent before I died."

07-29-2022, 02:40 PM	#11687
guanaco Recovering reader Posts: 226 Karma: 8008008 Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: México Device: iPad	Q: How did the medieval gynecologist greet his patients? A: At your cervix, my Lady.

07-29-2022, 06:47 PM	#11688
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,001 Karma: 174315100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Whoever said, “Do the job right the first time and you’ll never have to do it again” has never shovelled snow off a Canadian driveway.

11-07-2022, 04:46 AM	#11689
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Chemistry teacher: Did you know that protons have mass? Student: I didn't even know they were Catholics.

11-07-2022, 10:13 PM	#11690
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,001 Karma: 174315100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

10-19-2025, 07:15 PM	#11691
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,312 Karma: 102338360 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are hard to find.

10-20-2025, 07:38 PM	#11692
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,001 Karma: 174315100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?

10-20-2025, 09:08 PM	#11693
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,312 Karma: 102338360 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

10-21-2025, 08:58 PM	#11694
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,001 Karma: 174315100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Did you know that dropping an ant into a glass of water will tell you its gender? If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, boy ant.

10-21-2025, 10:03 PM	#11695
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 64,152 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite ...

10-22-2025, 03:15 AM	#11696
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,001 Karma: 174315100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	To be frank… I’d have to change my name.

Yesterday, 12:51 AM	#11697
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,312 Karma: 102338360 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Yesterday, 02:24 PM	#11698
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,001 Karma: 174315100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Local apartment building has one unit left. It’s last, but not leased.

Today, 02:54 AM	#11700
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,001 Karma: 174315100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Did you hear about the passionless baker? Yeah, he doesn’t really care about his work, he just kneads the dough.