Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 41

Martinoptic · 07-27-2025, 02:19 PM

There is, however, a gateway!

DNSB · 07-27-2025, 09:19 PM

Could many of the posts in this thread be referred to as cruel and unusual PUNishment?

DNSB · 08-08-2025, 11:28 PM

If you mix Absolut Vodka with Coke Zero, do you get Absolute Zero?

afv011 · 08-10-2025, 12:12 PM

A photon checks into a hotel.

Bellboy: Any luggage, sir?
Photon: No, I'm travelling light.

DNSB · 08-10-2025, 10:30 PM

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

DNSB · 08-17-2025, 01:26 AM

Our landlord wants to talk about the high heating bills. We told him our door is always open.

DNSB · 08-26-2025, 02:05 AM

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said. "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him, and then she dusted him with talcum powder. Don't move until I tell youu to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.

Around 2:00 in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here," he said to the statue, "Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for 3 days, and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."

ownedbycats · 09-02-2025, 06:27 PM

This is not a scam! PM me if you want to turn your $500 into my $500.

DNSB · Yesterday, 12:42 AM

A guy sits down in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog. and it's sitting in the seat next to him. He thinks it's unusual, but he likes dogs, so he decides that as long as it's not a distraction, he won't mention it.

The movie starts and pretty soon there's a funny part. The dog makes some low woofing sounds that seem like laughter. In a little while, there's a sad part and the dog appears to be weeping.

This continues throughout the film and the man sitting behind the dog is astounded. When the lights come up, he taps the dog's owner on the shoulder and tells him, "I got to say, and I know it sounds weird, but it seemed like your dog really enjoyed this movie."

The dog owner looks at the dog and nods. "I know it really is weird," he says. "Because he absolutely hated the book."

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07-27-2025, 02:19 PM	#601
Martinoptic Bibliophist Posts: 7,285 Karma: 7237230 Join Date: Dec 2021 Location: England Device: none	There is, however, a gateway!

07-27-2025, 09:19 PM	#602
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 47,143 Karma: 169815798 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Could many of the posts in this thread be referred to as cruel and unusual PUNishment?

08-08-2025, 11:28 PM	#603
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 47,143 Karma: 169815798 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	If you mix Absolut Vodka with Coke Zero, do you get Absolute Zero?

08-10-2025, 12:12 PM	#604
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,966 Karma: 2079999999 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	A photon checks into a hotel. Bellboy: Any luggage, sir? Photon: No, I'm travelling light.

08-10-2025, 10:30 PM	#605
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 47,143 Karma: 169815798 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

08-17-2025, 01:26 AM	#606
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 47,143 Karma: 169815798 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Our landlord wants to talk about the high heating bills. We told him our door is always open.

08-26-2025, 02:05 AM	#607
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 47,143 Karma: 169815798 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said. "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him, and then she dusted him with talcum powder. Don't move until I tell youu to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much I got one for us, too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around 2:00 in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here," he said to the statue, "Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for 3 days, and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."

09-02-2025, 06:27 PM	#608
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,120 Karma: 77213683 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	This is not a scam! PM me if you want to turn your $500 into my $500.

Yesterday, 12:42 AM	#609
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 47,143 Karma: 169815798 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A guy sits down in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog. and it's sitting in the seat next to him. He thinks it's unusual, but he likes dogs, so he decides that as long as it's not a distraction, he won't mention it. The movie starts and pretty soon there's a funny part. The dog makes some low woofing sounds that seem like laughter. In a little while, there's a sad part and the dog appears to be weeping. This continues throughout the film and the man sitting behind the dog is astounded. When the lights come up, he taps the dog's owner on the shoulder and tells him, "I got to say, and I know it sounds weird, but it seemed like your dog really enjoyed this movie." The dog owner looks at the dog and nods. "I know it really is weird," he says. "Because he absolutely hated the book."