Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 40

DNSB · 05-26-2025, 08:29 PM

Grocery shopping in 2004: Clip coupons out of Sunday newspaper to use at checkout.

Grocery shopping in 2024: Clip digital coupons, download the app, scan QR code, enter rewards member number, password and the nuclear launch codes at self-checkout to save 50 cents on bananas.

ownedbycats · 05-28-2025, 05:50 PM

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What happens after two days of rain in Nova Scotia?

Monday.

PeterT · 05-28-2025, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ownedbycats

Attachment 215895

What happens after two days of rain in Nova Scotia?

Monday.

At one poibt (i think it was back in the 90's) that was the norm here in Ontario; trips to my friends cottage were always rather damp

DNSB · 05-28-2025, 07:40 PM

There was a old line that was supposed to be a joke:
What do you call a sunny day after two days of heavy rain?
Monday.

DNSB · 06-17-2025, 12:42 AM

A husband and wife get up on Sunday morning.
After breakfast, the wife notices that her husband isn’t dressed for church.
“Why aren’t you dressed for church?”
“Simple. I’m not going.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I’ll give you three pretty good reasons why I’m not going.
First of all, the church is cold in the morning.
It’s just cold. Second, no one there likes me.
Everyone is always talking about me behind my back.
And third, most important of all, I just don’t feel like going!”
“Well, I’ll give you three pretty good reasons why you ARE going.
First of all, the church isn’t cold in the morning; it’s warm.
Second, I think, or I’m pretty sure, that there are some people there who do like you, and third you’re the minister, so get dressed.”

DNSB · 07-03-2025, 03:49 AM

Recursion

See Recursion

ownedbycats · 07-08-2025, 09:01 PM

I asked my son what he learned at school. He said, "Gay men like Sony, lesbians favor Yamaha, and transgender people prefer Bose."

I put my hand on his shoulder and replied, "Son, those are just stereo types."

DNSB · 07-08-2025, 10:24 PM

Singing in the shower is fun until the shampoo gets in your mouth... then it’s a soap opera.

Martinoptic · 07-09-2025, 08:30 AM

I'm bubbling over with laughter

When it gets in your eyes it's The Crying Game.

DNSB · 07-09-2025, 08:23 PM

How many technical-support agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Press 1 to continue.

Martinoptic · 07-11-2025, 11:11 AM

Should it not be F1? (Those of us old enough will remember that's where help is.)

DNSB · 07-11-2025, 06:11 PM

A logician tells a colleague his wife just had a baby.
– Is it a boy or a girl?
– Yes.

ownedbycats · 07-17-2025, 06:34 PM

Breaking News! Cat uses cat product for intended purpose.

DNSB · 07-17-2025, 07:20 PM

Unbelievable!

What do you call an aardvark that is three feet long?

A yardvark!

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05-26-2025, 08:29 PM	#586
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,190 Karma: 168983734 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Grocery shopping in 2004: Clip coupons out of Sunday newspaper to use at checkout. Grocery shopping in 2024: Clip digital coupons, download the app, scan QR code, enter rewards member number, password and the nuclear launch codes at self-checkout to save 50 cents on bananas.

05-28-2025, 05:50 PM	#587
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 10,973 Karma: 75337983 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	What happens after two days of rain in Nova Scotia? Monday.

05-28-2025, 07:40 PM	#589
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,190 Karma: 168983734 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	There was a old line that was supposed to be a joke: What do you call a sunny day after two days of heavy rain? Monday.

06-17-2025, 12:42 AM	#590
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,190 Karma: 168983734 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A husband and wife get up on Sunday morning. After breakfast, the wife notices that her husband isn’t dressed for church. “Why aren’t you dressed for church?” “Simple. I’m not going.” “Why not?” “Well, I’ll give you three pretty good reasons why I’m not going. First of all, the church is cold in the morning. It’s just cold. Second, no one there likes me. Everyone is always talking about me behind my back. And third, most important of all, I just don’t feel like going!” “Well, I’ll give you three pretty good reasons why you ARE going. First of all, the church isn’t cold in the morning; it’s warm. Second, I think, or I’m pretty sure, that there are some people there who do like you, and third you’re the minister, so get dressed.”

07-03-2025, 03:49 AM	#591
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,190 Karma: 168983734 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Recursion See Recursion

07-08-2025, 09:01 PM	#592
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 10,973 Karma: 75337983 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I asked my son what he learned at school. He said, "Gay men like Sony, lesbians favor Yamaha, and transgender people prefer Bose." I put my hand on his shoulder and replied, "Son, those are just stereo types."

07-08-2025, 10:24 PM	#593
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,190 Karma: 168983734 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Singing in the shower is fun until the shampoo gets in your mouth... then it’s a soap opera.

07-09-2025, 08:30 AM	#594
Martinoptic Bibliophist Posts: 7,020 Karma: 7173892 Join Date: Dec 2021 Location: England Device: none	I'm bubbling over with laughter When it gets in your eyes it's The Crying Game.

07-09-2025, 08:23 PM	#595
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,190 Karma: 168983734 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	How many technical-support agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Press 1 to continue.

07-11-2025, 11:11 AM	#596
Martinoptic Bibliophist Posts: 7,020 Karma: 7173892 Join Date: Dec 2021 Location: England Device: none	Should it not be F1? (Those of us old enough will remember that's where help is.)

07-11-2025, 06:11 PM	#597
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,190 Karma: 168983734 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A logician tells a colleague his wife just had a baby. – Is it a boy or a girl? – Yes.

07-17-2025, 06:34 PM	#598
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 10,973 Karma: 75337983 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Breaking News! Cat uses cat product for intended purpose.

07-17-2025, 07:20 PM	#599
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,190 Karma: 168983734 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Unbelievable! What do you call an aardvark that is three feet long? A yardvark!