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Old 01-10-2024, 12:40 AM   #286
DNSB
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There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?” The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
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Old 01-10-2024, 04:56 AM   #287
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Old 01-10-2024, 05:10 AM   #288
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Old 01-10-2024, 03:27 PM   #289
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It’s well known that most vampires come from Europe, and I always wondered why.

Well, I began thinking about it, and we know that vampires are supposed to be hurt by holy water. I wondered if priests could say prayers over every storm cloud and kill the vampires.

I realized it must be possible, because there really weren’t any reports of them in Africa.

Why must it work, you ask?

Well, someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
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Old 01-10-2024, 03:37 PM   #290
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DNSB View Post
It’s well known that most vampires come from Europe, and I always wondered why.

Well, I began thinking about it, and we know that vampires are supposed to be hurt by holy water. I wondered if priests could say prayers over every storm cloud and kill the vampires.

I realized it must be possible, because there really weren’t any reports of them in Africa.

Why must it work, you ask?

Well, someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
I'm reminded of this:

Click image for larger version Name: werewolf.jpg Views: 108 Size: 91.7 KB ID: 205737
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Old 01-10-2024, 03:56 PM   #291
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What do you call a wolf that works as a lumberjack?

A timber wolf.
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Old 01-10-2024, 04:40 PM   #292
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Quote:
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I'm reminded of this:

Attachment 205737
Awesome! Finally I got the answer to all the questions that always popped up when I heard that song.
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Old 01-11-2024, 12:36 AM   #293
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"Yeah. If something can go wrong, it will."

"You know Cole’s law?"

"No. What is it?"

"Thinly sliced cabbage and mayo."
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Old 01-11-2024, 12:41 AM   #294
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Old 01-11-2024, 02:45 PM   #295
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A skydiver jumps out, his chute doesn't open and he augers into the ground. When his jump buddies tell his girlfriend he's dead, she sobs "Did . . . did he say my name before he died?", they tell her, "Yeah, if your name is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"
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Old 01-17-2024, 03:15 PM   #296
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Why did the bicycle fall over?
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because it was two-tired
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Old 01-17-2024, 04:40 PM   #297
DNSB
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I tried to type "I'm a functional adult," but my phone changed it to "fictional adult," and I feel like that's more accurate.
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Old 01-17-2024, 11:09 PM   #298
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Old 01-18-2024, 01:38 PM   #299
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Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.
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Old 01-20-2024, 01:44 AM   #300
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I have an unconscious bias. I’m biased firmly towards being unconscious.
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