Unutterably Silly So what are you doing RIGHT NOW?

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

We discussed both, can't remember why they aren't on the list. The old one probably because it needs too much work and the smaller bedrooms.

After living in a house where the newest part is the front facade from the 1600s (the section my bedroom is in was build in the 1300s) I would love to live in something build after 1900. Or something that's been completely renovated recently, but that isn't in our budget.

Mind you, new build isn't everything either. One of my cousins get a brand new build a couple of years ago and for two years had nothing but problems with leaky pipes in walls. They even had to move out for months to let the house dry out.

In two weeks time my sister and I are going on vacation for two weeks and we're going to make a definite list and wants, needs and deal breakers. She more open to houses/apartments that need work than I. I don't want to live in a work in progress. I've done that for 43 years and want to live in something that's pretty much done. I also need to have a bedroom with proper heating, no more faffing around with space heaters and multiple duvets and blankets in winter.

I cannot tell a lie, I do like the one on the canal but...you ladies have to be happy for yourselves. I would move there in a heartbeat if I were in that neck of the woods. (I'm not and I could never handle such close quarters--I think an acre and a quarter is a small plot and all that, but...I remember living in condos and that when I was young and I would have snapped that one up PDQ.

Enjoy the holiday!

Hitch

[Rumpelteazer]

The canal is nice, but I've lived on a canal my whole life, so I've had that experience.

I would love to have more space, but you can't find that in the Netherlands unless you either have serious money or are willing to get a farm and live in the north. My dream home would be in the woods.

Last week a bungalow came up for sale, it needed a lot of work but the layout was perfect. The garden wasn't too big and needed work (completely paved over). It was even well within budget. The problem was that behind the house was a really busy road, which explained the price. Since we both want to live somewhere where it's relatively quiet (no busy roads, no cafés/clubs/etc).

[tempest@de]

I’m enjoying following your journey looking for the right house Rumple, I like to see the houses, they are much different from the houses where I live, I like to see how things are in other places. I really like the feel of the streets, they seem very calm, I suppose that’s because they are more residential areas then city center. By the way, have you decided what you will be doing after you finish with the store?

I hope you find what you are looking for soon, I’ve been in your shoes a few years ago, looking for a house to share with my brother that fit all our criteria, it took me 3 years to find it (in my city there are very few houses on the market, there are plenty of apartments) and turns out the perfect house was just across the street from my work, it needed renovations, most of them we did ourselves, it took us 3 years to finish everything but the house is now done to hour taste and with everything we need. The only complaint I have is the neighborhood dogs that seem to have multiplied since, sometimes I just wish I could move it so I could get rid of the barking dogs but keep the house.

[Rumpelteazer]

We are indeed looking at residential areas, having lived in the city center all my live I'm over that.

I, too, love looking at house websites in other countries. I love playing The Sims and use them for floor plan inspiration.

We're now done with the store (hallelujah). Until the end of year I'm helping out my parents with sorting through four generations of stuff to see what they want/can keep and what we can leave. After that I hope to find a job in a store, but I'm waiting until I know where we are going to end up. I really would like to work local and not have to travel for too long.

[issybird]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

sorting through four generations of stuff

Dump it all. Done.

I know it's largely out of your hands, but there's a level where this is absurd. What do your parents want with all this stuff? What will they do with it? What are the odds of discovering an unknown gem? Even them it wouldn't repay the labor involved in handling every least little thing.

to see what they want/can keep and what we can leave.

Didn't the new owner say he'd get rid of whatever was left behind? That sounds like a golden opportunity to me.

One of my absolute favorite anecdotes in my favorite book about Broadway, Act One by Moss Hart, tells how when he had a smash hit in his first play (after years and years), he went home after opening night to Brooklyn where he still lived with his parents and brother and said, in essence, "Let's go. Take nothing." His mother resisted, but was seduced. "One suitcase each?" She bargained. One suitcase each it was.

I think the "one suitcase" rule is the gold standard, but seriously, virtually anything not in daily use should be let go. Certainly anything that hasn't been seen in decades!

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by issybird

Dump it all. Done.

I wish.

Yes the new owner lets us leave whatever we don't want to bring with us.

My mother is very easy when it comes to throwing away or donating stuff. My father isn't.

He has rented a garage (one car garage) for storage and he thought it would be enough space for both things he wanted to keep from the store and upstairs. It's now nearly full and we haven't even done the upstairs. He really though he would have enough space to store all their crap AND have space for a workbench.

He has saved all the Tegometal shelving we used in the store. Some of it he's used, most of it isn't. He's saved all the racks from the store, and all the pins and brackets for hanging products on (hundreds if not thousands). He's saved almost all of the little storage containers we had small products in in the store (boxes and boxes). And then there are the tools. Two weeks ago I emptied a cabinet full of rusty tools in three storage bins. And last week he saved even more tools. And then my grandfather's tools are upstairs, so those will be added, too. I can go on. He's saving them because "you never know when they might come in handy".

The last couple of weeks were mostly him sorting through stuff and he has to contemplate every little thing. When he wants to keep it my sister always goes into a discussion. I'm not, it'll lead to fights and he'll keep the stuff anyway. Whenever he said "I want to keep this" I just think "so my sister and I can throw it away in a couple of years".

I need to get a small storage unit for stuff I can't bring with me when I move in with my sister (a chair, craft supplies, a bookshelf, my cd's and dvd's I need to digitize and my books). But I've been putting it off because I know my father will try to get me to store his things. Which isn't going to happen. I'll keep the storage unit until we move into a bigger house and I either have space for it or I'll donate or throw it out. I'm not going to keep paying for a storage space for my father (who's got enough money of his own) to store crap he'll never look at.

In other words we'll see how long it'll take me before I start screaming when helping my parents. I'm expecting a lot of battle from my father about getting rid/leaving of things.

My mother's toxic trait is giving things to my sister or me to sell on the internet. Which is not something we're interested in doing. I got the collection of Suske & Wiske comics (which I think I will donate to some kid's charity) and my sister's got the old Boerenbont china set, which we will never use or display.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

The canal is nice, but I've lived on a canal my whole life, so I've had that experience.

I would love to have more space, but you can't find that in the Netherlands unless you either have serious money or are willing to get a farm and live in the north. My dream home would be in the woods.

Last week a bungalow came up for sale, it needed a lot of work but the layout was perfect. The garden wasn't too big and needed work (completely paved over). It was even well within budget. The problem was that behind the house was a really busy road, which explained the price. Since we both want to live somewhere where it's relatively quiet (no busy roads, no cafés/clubs/etc).

Any chance you could plant? (The bungalow). I did this iwht a wee house, some years back, same issue. cute as a button and all that and a lovely large yard, for the area, but yeah, verily, a busy-ish street behind the rear property line (sigh). BUT, due to yon busy street, we got a big whack off the price and then promptly planted specimen Cypress trees all all along the rear property line. (Dunno what's suitable or will live, thrive, etc., for your neck of the woods, Rumple, but...they form huge windbreaks and more importantly massive SOUNDbreaks and they are quite effective!!! Also make lovely privacy walls.)

This did wonders for us, in case it's something that you would consider.

I do, truly, get the whole "not much space here" issue. I have other buds and friends, not here on MR, who are your neighbors, several with wee rugrats and they too are struggling to find "enough" room. (sigh).

Hitch

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

I wish.

Gurl, I'm sorry, but I'm with Issy. I realize that you and your parents have an unusually close relationship, all this cohabitation and stuff (I probably would have become a falling-down drunk by this time, were I you), but...just say NO. JUST NO, rumple. You're not 20-something any more and...I mean, NO. Move out, get a job, and let them deal on their own. All that enabling behavior, enabling your dad to keep all that crap and make it YOUR PROBLEM.

Sheesh, Rumple, I love ya, but crap. Just say no, and let him deal with it. let Him drag it around, etc. He will surely try to move one thing or maybe two and then he'll decide it's more trouble than it is worth. YES, I get it, you're afraid that he'll keel over and it'll somehow be your responsibility, but he's not a child and you're not his mum. He's just using you as cheap slave labor.

And as you said, this now-new nonsense with the storage. Man, at this rate, it will never end. (I once moved away from my family and used a mail-forwarding service so they literally couldn't find me, physically. Now...this is a long story and it's not really what it sounds like, trust me, but I'm starting to think that if your sister could be trusted with her end, you should consider it. Okay, maybe not really--you're not me and they're not my folks, but...hey...)

I would be bonkers by now were I you. BONKERS.

Hitch

[issybird]

^^I can only add that with the new owner willing to get rid of the stuff (which is a huge added payment) so that you wouldn't be leaving your parents with an insoluble problem AND your having a bolt hole for yourself at your sister's, it's time. Just go. You'd be doing your parents a favor in the not so long run, too. They'll be saving all that money in storage (and paying you) and they won't be living on a trash heap in their new home.

A favorite line from a kid's book, believe it or not: "Martyrs should be boiled in oil." Said by a devout Catholic, too.

[Rumpelteazer]

I know you're all right. But promises were made. The current plan is that I move in with my sister in early November and I'm helping my parents out until they move.

They still haven't found an apartment (they want one in a senior apartment complex, which offers amenities). They agreed to be out of the house before Christmas. So it looks like they'll be moving in something temporary instead. I've told them (about a dozen times now, several times with witnesses) once they've moved out they are on their own when it comes to household chores, ordering groceries, running errands and cooking. I don't mind helping out with little things (eg my mother prefers it if I put her medication in her weekly boxes, because I know what goes where). But they have enough money to hire a cleaner and to order ready made meals if they want to.

I'm already finding myself emotionally detaching from the whole situation. My sister is worried about everything, but in my mind I just do what they want me to do and what I'm paid for and all the other things aren't my problem. It's, of course, pure self preservation at this point. But it's only for a little while.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

I know you're all right. But promises were made. The current plan is that I move in with my sister in early November and I'm helping my parents out until they move.

They still haven't found an apartment (they want one in a senior apartment complex, which offers amenities). They agreed to be out of the house before Christmas. So it looks like they'll be moving in something temporary instead. I've told them (about a dozen times now, several times with witnesses) once they've moved out they are on their own when it comes to household chores, ordering groceries, running errands and cooking. I don't mind helping out with little things (eg my mother prefers it if I put her medication in her weekly boxes, because I know what goes where). But they have enough money to hire a cleaner and to order ready made meals if they want to.

I'm already finding myself emotionally detaching from the whole situation. My sister is worried about everything, but in my mind I just do what they want me to do and what I'm paid for and all the other things aren't my problem. It's, of course, pure self preservation at this point. But it's only for a little while.

Well, I do understand that you need to keep your word, but don't make me fly over there and beat you up, after all this, Rumple. I mean it. I don't want to get stabbed with crafting sharp things...

Hitch

[Rumpelteazer]

Yesterday we went to visit this apartment, we were early so we walked by this one, too (same apartment, just not redone).

My main remark is that the photographer of the first apartment was great. In real life it was much darker, especially the living area. That floor not only had dark decorations (floor, walls, woodwork, furniture), but the indoor balcony was big, with a low ceiling, blocking light from coming in. The finish of the apartment wasn't as good as the pictures make you believe, especially the floor with the bedrooms and the attic.

On Sunday I had voiced my concern about the size of the bedrooms (mainly the two smaller ones), but I was basically told that that is the standard size (around 9m²) and I shouldn't be difficult. It seems like my sister hasn't got any idea how big a 3m by 3m room was and was shocked how small that is (for an adult who needs some space to be able to retreat to). She now agrees I need a bigger bedroom. We'll see how that goes.

This morning we're going to visit this house. Which is at the top of our budget, but still needs some work to make it into our style. The bedroom is slightly bigger, though the washbasin will have to go (those are always in the way). It's only 2km away from the town center, so a 5-10 minute bike ride away.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

Yesterday we went to visit this apartment, we were early so we walked by this one, too (same apartment, just not redone).

My main remark is that the photographer of the first apartment was great. In real life it was much darker, especially the living area. That floor not only had dark decorations (floor, walls, woodwork, furniture), but the indoor balcony was big, with a low ceiling, blocking light from coming in. The finish of the apartment wasn't as good as the pictures make you believe, especially the floor with the bedrooms and the attic.

On Sunday I had voiced my concern about the size of the bedrooms (mainly the two smaller ones), but I was basically told that that is the standard size (around 9m²) and I shouldn't be difficult. It seems like my sister hasn't got any idea how big a 3m by 3m room was and was shocked how small that is (for an adult who needs some space to be able to retreat to). She now agrees I need a bigger bedroom. We'll see how that goes.

This morning we're going to visit this house. Which is at the top of our budget, but still needs some work to make it into our style. The bedroom is slightly bigger, though the washbasin will have to go (those are always in the way). It's only 2km away from the town center, so a 5-10 minute bike ride away.

LOL, that's hilarious--I looked at that last house "for you." Ha! I ruled it out because yes, it's higher-priced. I did think though that you could reno that "wine cellar" (cough) and do something else with it and it has some nice look/feel to it.

Wait, looked at the one with the gray wood-slat floors, too. ha. I didn't see that second one, the dupe that's not fixed up (the 289K EU one). If it were me, given how roomy those are and all that, and the savings, I would seriously consdier it. with what, 60K spare, you could do a lotta lotta hunka-hunka-burnin' renovation on that place.

(My cat has a room larger than 3m x 3m for a playroom. Not kidding. That's really small. Mr. Hitch's indoor shop room is larger than that and so too was my "too small for anythign else" wee indoor workout room when I was still well enough to do that. It's hard to put a BED, an amoire/dresser and allthat in a room that size. Your sister SHOULD be shocked at how cavalier she was being. Sisters, amirite?)

Hitch

[Rumpelteazer]

The house was nice. It had a great, roomy floor plan with lots of storage. The wine cellar was emptied. Apparently the late husband of the current owner held wine tastings with his friends in there. There were two main problems. First of was that it was at the top of our budget and needed some work done immediately; wall paper, flooring and painting the internal doors throughout. The current owner must be tiny since the kitchen counters came up to mid thigh (80cm or thereabout) and I'm not that tall (though both my sister and I want a higher than average worktop). My sister thinks she could live with the low worktops but I think you'll want to change it sooner rather than later because it will kill your back. Then there is the central heating boiler which needs to be replaced before 2026 (from then on those aren't allowed to be installed anymore and you'll need to install a much more expensive heat pump) and the fuse box needs to be replace since it's one still using the old fashion porcelain fuses, which are harder and harder to get (especially since our store is now closed). The bathroom isn't to our taste either, but with some adjustments we could make it work for a couple of years.

However, the biggest problem was the busy road outside. I could have lived with the road, but there are plans to divert the heavy traffic with a bridge diagonally across from the house and a roundabout almost in front of the house. The council was already buying up houses along the canal that need to be taken down. Such projects always take a long time, longer than planned and the residents are submitted to noise and dust and probably inconvenient road closures. The real estate agent assured us that after it was done it would be a huge improvement. My sister looked at the council's plans and seriously doubt it will be an improvement (it's a really big roundabout).

In other words, if it was €20,000 cheaper and at a different location (in one of the nearby side street for instance) we would probably put an offer in. But the road really is a deal breaker unfortunately. Which sucks, because we both loved the house.

[Greg Anos]

Well, you could put a low-ball bid in at 20K less than asked, if you could handle the street location. All they could say is no.