Hey Cat People! Need Advice.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by jinlo

In order to perhaps lighten the mood regarding cats, I am including an email I received several weeks ago. I have no idea who wrote it. It's just one of those email thingys that gets passed around.

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.......

clearly authentic documents, as anyone with pets could confirm. thanks for that !

[daffy4u]

Originally Posted by HappyMartin

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

Seriously though, this seems like a lot of effort to avoid paw prints. A disproportionate amount of effort if you ask me. Mats that need to be purchased and put in place and then removed, water pistols, magnets and so on.

Sorry you don't find my need to protect my property and health worthy.

What is really needed is a working filter system. The same filters system that allow us to ignore billboards and other such evidence that would otherwise lead us to conclude that our planet has been in the care of a pack of malicious trolls.

If you could invent this, I would buy it and you'd be a very wealthy person.

[Idoine]

Do you know these ?

Rules for cats

I. DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

II. CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.

III. BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything -- just sit and stare.

IV. HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering". Following are the rules for "hampering":
a) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
b) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
c) For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what the humans may tell you.
d) For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity), keep in mind the aim -- to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.
e) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump.

V. WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

VI. BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so s/he cannot move around.

[Ceili]

Originally Posted by Idoine

Do you know these ?

This describes Woodie (aka Mr. Woodie) to a T! You can see his "bored" look to the left! When we're really feeling downtrodden, we call it his "far superior" look

[nekokami]

VIa. Alternatively, pin the human as close as possible to the edge of the bed by snuggling up behind their knees.

Bird script (not quite a diary-- I'll consider doing that later):

7:49 am: Tweet! Tweet tweet tweet! Who's a silly? Whatcha doin? Whatcha doin', silly bird? Who's a silly bird? Tweet! <wolf whistle> Who's a silly? <aria>
(entries repeat until 10pm or until blanket is thrown over cage.)
Final entry for day: tweet?

[tirsales]

Originally Posted by nekokami

Bird script (not quite a diary-- I'll consider doing that later):

Birds are using Twitter!

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by tirsales

Birds are using Twitter!

well naturally ! those messages are called tweets for a reason !

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by daffy4u

How do I keep a cat from walking on my car?

Years ago, I lived in a place where neighborhood cats would walk all over my car. I tried many things to keep them off. From special "keep away" sprays from the pet store to placing plastic mats around my car placed downside up so the gripper spikes were facing up and uncomfortable to walk on (that worked the best and no they weren't sharp enough to draw blood just really uncomfortable to walk on).

Then I moved to my condo and had no problems for years until now. A wild cat or two has discovered my car again and I'm finding cat paw prints all over it again. I don't have the room to lay out the mats without impinging on my neighbors parking spaces. The spray never really worked and it stinks. I need another solution.

So how, can I keep the cat(s) off my car?

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Thanks Harry - found the cat scat mat but £17 seems a bit steep - think I'll make my own from the local brambles.

Actually this mesh material is used in construction to allow air circutalion under wood shingles on a roof. You can find it in rolls at lumber yards and home renovation stores.

The way I would use it is not to put it on the car but the place from which the cats leap to the car. You could lay it on the floor of the garage all around the car for about three feet. It is safe to walk on and springs back to shape. The only drawback is that it looks stupid but then it is out of view and it protects the car you love.

[digitalzen]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

well naturally ! those messages are called tweets for a reason !

is tweets the right language these days?