In Defense of English

[DixieGal]

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Fictionaul? Houw daure youu? Sheu's au goublin iuf anyuthing!

Mauybe sou, buut sheu ius beauutifuul iun thaut pourtrait.

[Wetdogeared]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Eveun sou, Iu stiull luv theu Queeun. Sheu's myu favououourite fictiounal charactur.

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Fictionaul? Houw daure youu? Sheu's au goublin iuf anyuthing!

Did y'all just git back from the dentist or sump'n.

WDE.

[kazbates]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Kaz, if we pool our lunch money, do we have enough to buy a 12-pack of rolls and TP MopeJoe's front yard?

Hey Youz Guyz! Are there enough weird unnecessary letters, u's, and archaic gh-es in enough for ya?

If we don't, I'm pretty sure I can shake a few other kids down for the rest! You keep the southern half of our country covered and seeings as how I'm originally from Chicago, I'll get the northern half. Between the two of us, we can clean get rid of all that extraneous junk!!
Kaz

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Mauybe sou, buut sheu ius beauutifuul iun thaut pourtrait.

Nah, (goes into Northern slang mode) she's a reet minger if you ask me!

[DixieGal]

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

Did y'all just git back from the dentist or sump'n.

WDE.

Dentists are really barbours, doun't you knouw?

[vivaldirules]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Eveun sou, Iu stiull luv theu Queeun. Sheu's myu favououourite fictiounal charactur.

DG, it has been rumoured that you have been making off-colour remarks and generally don't play nicely with our neighbours overseize....er, I mean overseas. That behaviour is unacceptable. Go have a piece of pie right now. Apple.

Actually, I like the subtle sound difference that the added u implies. So I routinely spell with the extra u's. I don't at all understand the missing z's, though. I mean, what if Zelda was Selda? Eh?

[Wetdogeared]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

DG, it has been rumoured that you have been making off-colour remarks and generally don't play nicely with our neighbours overseize....er, I mean overseas. That behaviour is unacceptable. Go have a piece of pie right now. Apple.

Actually, I like the subtle sound difference that the added u implies. So I routinely spell with the extra u's. I don't at all understand the missing z's, though. I mean, what if Zelda was Selda? Eh?

Just use the Canadian dictionary on Furfox, you get the best of both worlds.

WDE.

[kazbates]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

DG, it has been rumoured that you have been making off-colour remarks and generally don't play nicely with our neighbours overseize....er, I mean overseas. That behaviour is unacceptable. Go have a piece of pie right now. Apple.

Actually, I like the subtle sound difference that the added u implies. So I routinely spell with the extra u's. I don't at all understand the missing z's, though. I mean, what if Zelda was Selda? Eh?

Can you give an example? For the most part, we pretty much just ignore it.
Kaz

[DixieGal]

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Nah, (goes into Northern slang mode) she's a reet minger if you ask me!

If'n I knowed whut you jes say'd, I might ought'n declare y'all the weener of this here spittin' contest.

Kaz: I'm on it. Gotta make a road trip over to Georgia Pacific and get some wholesale rolls, cuz it'll take a bunch to cover the southeast.

[DixieGal]

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

Just use the Canadian dictionary on Furfox, you get the best of both worlds.

WDE.

I get it! Furfox!!

My sister-in-law from Arizona via Chicago, back when they first moved to Ala, waaaaaay out in the piney woods, well, a strange man came to the door and said he was from the "far company."

She, being home alone, was naturally perturbed and thought he meant "fire company" and that she was in danger of burning up out there in the woods.

Actually, what he said is that he was from the "par company" and was there to read her electric meter.

[Moejoe]

Dear Americans,

It has come to my attention that the English language was only loaned to you on a semi-permanent basis. I discovered, only recently, and thanks to Jeff Bezos's example, that when we gave you your language, we were only loaning said language for the period of our occupation of the colonies.

Sadly we now must inform you that all rights and derivations of the English language used by aforementioned "Americans' must now cease and desist. All unused U's and replaced Z's must be returned to their proper positions within 30 days.

We have consulted Sylvester Stallone (who we have on good authority is a master of American English) to invent a new language. This new language will be formally known as Adrienish and will include a six-letter alphabet.

We wish you the best of luck in this transition period.

Yours
Her Maj
Queen Elizabeth II

[Wetdogeared]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Actually, what he said is that he was from the "par company" and was there to read her electric meter.

You might as well go to the extreme contraction p'r com'ny.

WDE.

[kazbates]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

I get it! Furfox!!

My sister-in-law from Arizona via Chicago, back when they first moved to Ala, waaaaaay out in the piney woods, well, a strange man came to the door and said he was from the "far company."

She, being home alone, was naturally perturbed and thought he meant "fire company" and that she was in danger of burning up out there in the woods.

Actually, what he said is that he was from the "par company" and was there to read her electric meter.

When I first moved to the east coast from Chicago, people in my office kept giving me a hard time about my "accent"! At the time, there was the Saturday Night Live skit about "Da Bears" which everbody thought was a good example of how Chicagoans talked!! I thought they were all crazy (SNL was on way to late for a moring person like myself) until a guy from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan started working with us. He called himself a "Yuper" and I could barely understand him. He would say things like, "aboot" (about), and, "alawn" (alone)! Now, my family informs me my "Chicago" only comes out when I'm really angry or yelling at the kids to get there chores done!!

Kaz

[DixieGal]

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Dear Americans,

It has come to my attention that the English language was only loaned to you on a semi-permanent basis. I discovered, only recently, and thanks to Jeff Bezos's example, that when {...} a master of American English) to invent a new language. This new language will be formally known as Adrienish and will include a six-letter alphabet.

We wish you the best of luck in this transition period.

Yours
Her Maj
Queen Elizabeth II

Howz about we give you ebonics for collateral, and we promise to put a check in the mail on Tuesday?

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

You might as well go to the extreme contraction p'r com'ny.

WDE.

No, it doesn't quite roll lazily enough off one's tongue. Par company sort of slides in from the molars and oozes to the lips, which gently kiss it into sound. Say it slow like it tastes good to you.

[Xenophon]

Author Eric Flint often collaborates with his good friend and writing partner Dave Freer. Eric lives outside Chicago; Dave is from rural South Africa. Eric uses US English and spelling; Dave uses ?? English (I don't know what to call it, but it's not-quite-British) with British spelling rules.

One day Eric posted that Dave had sent him the first draft of a book they were writing. So, the first thing Eric did was to commit Uicide on the book.



Xenophon