The Vent and Rant Thread

[Rumpelteazer]

So my mother is upset with me, again.

She got the new iPad Mini when it was released, but she hasn't used it yet. First she used the excuse of that she wanted to wait until she had cataract surgery. After that she used the excuse that she wanted to wait until her Bluetooth earbuds. Now she's blaming me for not being able to use her iPad.

That is because I refuse to update her laptop so she can transfer her music to her iPad.

When she got her current iPad she hadn't touched her laptop for years and it needed to be updated. It's an HP laptop that has loads of HP and third party crapware on it that makes it slow to start and slow in general, with regular annoying pop ups. I did update it for her then, but it took a full Sunday (10am to 5 or 6 pm) to do so. I told her then that this was the last time I would do this and that it was up to her to keep it updated. She never did. Both my father and I reminded her several times but she never did.

She's now using her poor health of the past year of the past year as an excuse. If it was just the updates for the past year I would have done it, probably. We tried suggesting her to get a Spotify subscription, because she got a bunch of bootlegs that aren't available on Spotify.

I also think she wants someone else to set up the iPad for her. But I won't. She set up her current and previous iPads, her iPods and iPhones, so she can do this herself. She's also got the time for it, since her only chores are feeding the cats in the morning and folding laundry once a week.

Am I too harsh. Maybe. But she's finding it very nice that everything gets done for her. We're trying to get her to do more things she can do. After this past year, with both my parents having health issues I'm near a burn-out and with the help of a psychologist I'm trying to reclaim myself a little bit at the moment. I'm picking my battles, and this is an important one for me.

[tempest@de]

I don’t think you are being to harsh, if you have talked to her about it before and if those are things that she did in the past is not a question that she can’t do it, it’s that she doesn’t want to do it, and once you start doing this for her, you can expect to have to do it every time, because then she will point out that last time you did it so you can do it again.

I say stick with it, and don’t let her guilt you, unfortunately sometimes our loved ones take us for granted and expect us to do all, and solve all their problems, forgetting that we also have problems and need to care for ourselves.

Be strong, and good luck.

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

So my mother is upset with me, again.

She got the new iPad Mini when it was released, but she hasn't used it yet. First she used the excuse of that she wanted to wait until she had cataract surgery. After that she used the excuse that she wanted to wait until her Bluetooth earbuds. Now she's blaming me for not being able to use her iPad.

That is because I refuse to update her laptop so she can transfer her music to her iPad.

When she got her current iPad she hadn't touched her laptop for years and it needed to be updated. It's an HP laptop that has loads of HP and third party crapware on it that makes it slow to start and slow in general, with regular annoying pop ups. I did update it for her then, but it took a full Sunday (10am to 5 or 6 pm) to do so. I told her then that this was the last time I would do this and that it was up to her to keep it updated. She never did. Both my father and I reminded her several times but she never did.

She's now using her poor health of the past year of the past year as an excuse. If it was just the updates for the past year I would have done it, probably. We tried suggesting her to get a Spotify subscription, because she got a bunch of bootlegs that aren't available on Spotify.

I also think she wants someone else to set up the iPad for her. But I won't. She set up her current and previous iPads, her iPods and iPhones, so she can do this herself. She's also got the time for it, since her only chores are feeding the cats in the morning and folding laundry once a week.

Am I too harsh. Maybe. But she's finding it very nice that everything gets done for her. We're trying to get her to do more things she can do. After this past year, with both my parents having health issues I'm near a burn-out and with the help of a psychologist I'm trying to reclaim myself a little bit at the moment. I'm picking my battles, and this is an important one for me.

[John F]

Speaking of parents and trying to get them to use tech. My mother picked up her iPhone the other day (she only uses it for phone calls), and says (roughly) "hey, did you know that the time is displayed on the phone?" And this is on the lock screen.

Many times on a phone call I hear her say "I hate this new tech", and yet it is always: call such and such for me, or text such and such and tell them to pick up some grocery while they are out, or is such and such on their way home and where are they now?

[4691mls]

Is it Windows updates that are needed on the laptop? Can't it be set to auto update so this problem won't keep recurring?

Can your mom afford to pay a professional (like a store that sells and repairs computers) to do this work ?

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by 4691mls

Is it Windows updates that are needed on the laptop? Can't it be set to auto update so this problem won't keep recurring?

Can your mom afford to pay a professional (like a store that sells and repairs computers) to do this work ?

It's set to auto update, however, that doesn't work when the last time the laptop was switched on was 5 or 6 years ago.

She could afford it, but why shell out money when you can guilt someone to do it for free? Bother my father and sister have already offered to update the thing and my sister is willing to help my mother set up the iPad. That doesn't mean she isn't upset with me. My mother is very strict in who does what tasks and chores and taking care of electronics is apparently my job.

I did remember that she's got an external hard drive, I'm not sure if her iTunes library runs off it or if she just used it for back up, but most of her music library should be on it. If my father or sister doesn't update her laptop soon I can always get the store's laptop, install iTunes on it, set it so it reads the library from the external drive and transfer the music from there. Then delete iTunes again. However, I'd rather not. Because that would be something that I would have to do.

I had her once take the laptop to get it fixed after she got a virus on it. It meant that Windows would have to be reinstalled and I wasn't going to do that. She had to pay €75 for that, but it taught her the lesson not to download random crap.

[4691mls]

Wow, she doesn't turn the computer on for years and then expects you to catch it up on all those updates? I'm glad your other family members are helping out. Hopefully once they get her set up she'll get over being upset with you about it!

[PeterT]

@rumpleteazer if it's windows 10, maybe download a new image, and then from within the existing windows environment run the upgrade option from the new image.

I recently did this with a laptop from church that was having upgrade issues and it was far, far easier than anything else. All existing programs / users carried over to the new install

Sent from my Pixel 4a using Tapatalk

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by PeterT

@rumpleteazer if it's windows 10, maybe download a new image, and then from within the existing windows environment run the upgrade option from the new image.

I recently did this with a laptop from church that was having upgrade issues and it was far, far easier than anything else. All existing programs / users carried over to the new install

Sent from my Pixel 4a using Tapatalk

The updates themselves aren't the problem. It just that with so many I have to restart often. That is where the problem is. HP installed so many crapware that it takes a long time for all those apps to start, having to click them away and then still having to deal with random pop-ups. My mother doesn't want me to uninstall them "because you never know when you might need them". I will never buy an HP laptop, even if they don't install crapware anymore.

And as I said. I'm not doing anything with that thing, since I've said I wouldn't the last time I updated the thing. My sister thinks I'm being unreasonable, but I think my father agrees with me, although he would never say so.

I've been getting annoyed with my parents for a while now, about them not taking responsibility for their own things and expecting me to deal with things. This is just another of those things and it might the last drop for me. If my mother keeps nagging about it there is a chance that it all comes out and they won't like what I have to say.

[ownedbycats]

Vent: Paper straws. Damned choking hazard.

I unintentionally bite down on the straws (hard plastic & metals are unsafe for me too). Between that and the fact that it takes me a while to finish a drink, paper straws tend to go soggy and disintegrate on me.

[ApK]

Originally Posted by ownedbycats

Vent: Paper straws. Damned choking hazard.

I unintentionally bite down on the straws (hard plastic & metals are unsafe for me too). Between that and the fact that it takes me a while to finish a drink, paper straws tend to go soggy and disintegrate on me.

You are not alone.

BTW, we have some soft silicone straws that work well,and also some metal straws with a soft silicone bite-guard.

ApK

[BetterRed]

The only straws that I can recall ever using were the liquorice ones that came with triangular packets of sherbet - do they still exist I wonder.

[John F]

Originally Posted by ownedbycats

Vent: Paper straws. Damned choking hazard.

I unintentionally bite down on the straws (hard plastic & metals are unsafe for me too). Between that and the fact that it takes me a while to finish a drink, paper straws tend to go soggy and disintegrate on me.

And thin straws in thick milkshakes. Don't make me work to enjoy my milkshake.

[ApK]

Originally Posted by John F

And thin straws in thick milkshakes. Don't make me work to enjoy my milkshake.

I'm with you here too. Those soft silicone straws I mentioned are at least 3/8". Excellent for milkshakes and smoothies.

[poohbear_nc]

I used some decent bamboo straws in a restaurant last year. Held up all meal without collapsing or shredding.

[ownedbycats]

I've looked into silicone - but I also rely on bendy straws, and I've not found any that actually are bendy rather than just crooked at the end. I suspect it might not be possible.