Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 755

drjd · 02-12-2021, 05:56 AM

I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car.

Now everyone waves at me.

drjd · 02-16-2021, 06:42 AM

extraterrestaurant, noun:
An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented on. Also known as ETry.

Adoby · 02-17-2021, 08:11 AM

Sure enough, there were some conversational additives listed on the label for lemon juice concentrate. So then we had a long talk about possibly buying fresh lemons instead.

drjd · 02-18-2021, 06:05 AM

intaxication, noun:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

DNSB · 02-18-2021, 01:46 PM

abscond, v.i.
To "move in a mysterious way," commonly with the property of another.

pdurrant · 02-18-2021, 04:58 PM

Economist, n. Inexpensive fog.

poohbear_nc · 02-18-2021, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

Economist, n. Inexpensive fog.

drjd · 02-19-2021, 06:29 AM

cashtration, noun:
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

drjd · 02-20-2021, 06:14 AM

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe!

DNSB · 02-20-2021, 05:13 PM

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park.

drjd · 02-21-2021, 12:33 PM

caterpallor, noun:
The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

drjd · 02-24-2021, 05:41 AM

Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath?

He took 1/50th of the recommended dose!

Adoby · 02-24-2021, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath?

He took 1/50th of the recommended dose!

When it didn't work he increased the dose to 1/50000.

cromag · 02-24-2021, 03:36 PM

What do you get when you drop a piano on a small child?

Spoiler:

drjd · 02-25-2021, 05:37 AM

Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
Answer: Because it makes a much bigger boom when pushed off a cliff.

02-24-2021, 03:36 PM	#11324
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,767 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	What do you get when you drop a piano on a small child? Spoiler: A Flat Minor.

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02-12-2021, 05:56 AM	#11311
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car. Now everyone waves at me.

02-16-2021, 06:42 AM	#11312
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	extraterrestaurant, noun: An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented on. Also known as ETry.

02-17-2021, 08:11 AM	#11313
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	Sure enough, there were some conversational additives listed on the label for lemon juice concentrate. So then we had a long talk about possibly buying fresh lemons instead.

02-18-2021, 06:05 AM	#11314
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	intaxication, noun: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

02-18-2021, 01:46 PM	#11315
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,175 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	abscond, v.i. To "move in a mysterious way," commonly with the property of another.

02-18-2021, 04:58 PM	#11316
pdurrant The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠 Posts: 74,449 Karma: 318076944 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Norfolk, England Device: Kindle Oasis	Economist, n. Inexpensive fog.

02-19-2021, 06:29 AM	#11318
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	cashtration, noun: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

02-20-2021, 06:14 AM	#11319
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe!

02-20-2021, 05:13 PM	#11320
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,175 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park.

02-21-2021, 12:33 PM	#11321
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	caterpallor, noun: The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

02-24-2021, 05:41 AM	#11322
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath? He took 1/50th of the recommended dose!

02-25-2021, 05:37 AM	#11325
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright? Answer: Because it makes a much bigger boom when pushed off a cliff.