Red Redux - The Case Of The Desert Pirates - Page 6

badgoodDeb · 03-17-2009, 02:04 PM

Patience, ladies! What if this were the old-fashioned radio hour? Didn't one have to wait a week for the next installment? (I'm too young to know) Ya have to wait a week to find out what happens next on your fav TV show. Fortunately, we don't always have to wait that long here!

Greg Anos · 03-17-2009, 02:52 PM

Of course I was wearin' my protector contacts, and flicked them into the protect mode with my eyelids before L popped the neuralizer.
He then droned on his instructions, and told me to leave and to forget all about the meetin'.
I figger it was easier to play along, as I didn't want to start the Little Big Horn right there. When you're workin' a kidnapping case, the last thing you want to do is spook the kidnappers. They panick and all sorts of bad things can happen. Besides, I'd better get back to DG before the MIB flunkies got there.
But first, I went to my car and got a GPS recorder out of the glove box and stuck it under L's car. It didn't broadcast, so it wouldn't show up on a bug scan. I'd pick it up tommorrow and see where he'd been.

Jeeps aren't speed buggies, not if you have a passin' concern for your health.
By the time I got to DesertGrandma's, there was a black Ford POS parked in the driveway. I parked my Jeep behind it to block it in. Looked like the party might get rough. I wished I had BadGoodDeb backin' me right now.
I snuck around the house, listening. I heard murmurings in the kitchen, so I went back to the front door and quietly eased my way into the house. I saw DesertGrandma's pump .12 GA by the door and smiled. Loaded? If a western grandma was packin' a gun, it was surely loaded.
I quietly picked up the shotgun and snuck back towards the kitchen. The MIB were talkin' to DesertGrandma and had their backs to me. They didn't figger anybody would sneak up on them. Heh, heh, heh...
I charged into room and had my shotgun against the lead man's skull, before they knew what was happening. Bein' polite, I said, "Howdy boys, Elvis sent me."
The other MIB made the mistake of turning my way and reachin' for his piece. DesertGrandma grabbed a skillet and sent it air-mail directly off his head, layin' him out flatter than a Pearl that's been open for two weeks.
"Now that the preliminaries have been taken care of, I'd advise you not to twitch, unless you want your sinuses cleared from the backside."
The Lead MIB guy said, "Do you know who I am?"
"You're a fieldman for the local MIB. Who you are in particular I don't know or care. I've already had a chat with you boss, L. You guys are gettin' uppity, kidnappin' innocent citizens.
"Now let's both move away slooowly from your assistant, So DG can check to see if he's still breathin'."
We did, and I told Desert Grandma to check the flat guy's pulse.
"While you're at it, take out everything he has in every pocket, and give him a good search. Take out everything he has, 'cept his eyeteeth."
She did, and produced a small pile of hardware, but I didn't see a neuralizer.
"You'll never get away with this, whoever you are."
"The handle's Red, and I'm the guy who gave L his limp. I'm still breathin' and workin'.
"Now I'd like to get your assistant some medical attention, but you're gonna have to cooperate for that. Slowly reach in and take out your neuralizer."
He did.
"Good. Now softly let it drop to the floor. Now carefully kick it over to DesertGrandma."
DesertGrandma picked up the neuralizer. I told her how to set it, to freeze the guy I had the shotgun on.
"Now close your eyes and the zap button."
Another red flash. I carefully lowered the shotgun in case he was playin' possum, but he didn't flinch. I walked over to DesertGrandma, reset the neuralizer and told the lead MIB guy to call 911 and get help for his assistant and gave him a cock-and-bull story to explain what happened. When he got de-neuralized, he'd be chewed out, but that was later. I didn't want a corpse on my hands.
After he called 911, I told him to forget about us being there and to wake up when he heard the ambulance.
DesertGrandma and I cleared out quick, leaving behind the other agents stuff. It'd make the lead agent feel happier when he woke up not to have loose ends.
"Ma'am, we got a passle of trouble. I wouldn't've busted in like that, 'cept I figgered they were goin' to haul you away too."
"I might have seen my husband."
"Yep, but I don't think I could have busted both of you out. Hop into the Jeep. We're out of minutes and we've got to make a plan pronto."

Greg Anos · 03-17-2009, 02:56 PM

It's 77 F, the sky is blue, the birds are chirping, the plants are leafed out, and the Camellia is in full bloom. And you want me chained to a typewriter????

desertgrandma · 03-17-2009, 03:03 PM

Get back to the typwriter, you tease, and tell me where we're going!!!

Oh, and I would have done just THAT, too.

(no, seriously, go outside and enjoy your roses.......which varieties?)

Greg Anos · 03-17-2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Get back to the typwriter, you tease, and tell me where we're going!!!

Oh, and I would have done just THAT, too.

(no, seriously, go outside and enjoy your roses.......which varieties?)

Lot's of varities. Here's a partial list.

Rosette Delizzy
Cramesion Superior
Belinda's Dream
Winter Sunset
Everett's Double Fragrance
Monseur Tiller
Mutablis
Rainbow
Puerto Rico
Sovenior De La Malmasion
Ducher
Don Juan
and the big monster Reve' D'Or (it's 25 feet across!)

and 12 tropical hibiscus in big pots, and 6 orange shrubs, ditto.

and daffoldils, amaryllis, crinium lilies, Texas Columbine, Irises, daylilies . . .

desertgrandma · 03-17-2009, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

Lot's of varities. Here's a partial list.

Rosette Delizzy
Cramesion Superior
Belinda's Dream
Winter Sunset
Everett's Double Fragrance
Monseur Tiller
Mutablis
Rainbow
Puerto Rico
Sovenior De La Malmasion
Ducher
Don Juan
and the big monster Reve' D'Or (it's 25 feet across!)

and 12 tropical hibiscus in big pots, and 6 orange shrubs, ditto.

and daffoldils, amaryllis, crinium lilies, Texas Columbine, Irises, daylilies . . .

I think everyone here would appreciate pictures of your beautiful garden.......

Greg Anos · 03-17-2009, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

I think everyone here would appreciate pictures of your beautiful garden.......

It's not so pretty right now, what with rose clipping to bag, bloomed out daffodils, and raised bed being reconstructed, and only the camellia in bloom right now...

Since I'm writing a serial, you gotta have cliff-hangers....

pshrynk · 03-17-2009, 03:21 PM

I've always been partial to the wild rose varieties. My grandma had a huge bush on the side of her porch when I was growing up.

badgoodDeb · 03-17-2009, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

"The handle's Red, and I'm the guy who gave L his limp. I'm still breathin' and workin'.

Oooooooo! Nice line!

Patricia · 03-17-2009, 06:52 PM

I'm thinking of planting Souvenir de Malmaison. The old-fashioned roses smell so wonderful.

Greg Anos · 03-20-2009, 12:17 PM

I started haulin' to the convention center.
"DG, I've sorta stick my foot in it when I went to see L. Our only hope is to go back and capture him, and set up a prisoner swap. Even that's dicey. They may not be willin' to deal, and they out-man and out-gun us. How much grief are you willin' to handle?"
DesertGrandma reached into her purse and pulled out a honkin' big revolver. A S&W Scholfield. "Is this grief enough?"
"Yes ma'am. By the by, is that a .44-40?"
"You seem to know your guns, Red."
"Part of the profession. You're going to have to do the initial heavy liftin', much as I hate to make a client get involved. If he sees me first, he's liable to shoot first and not bother to ask questions. Can you do a little old lady act?"
"Why sure, sonny. Can I bake you some cookies?"
"Good enough. I need for you to get him out of the office, and keep him occupied until I can sneak up on him. I gave her the cover name L was workin under. Think you can handle it?"
"Sure, Red. What's this convention about?"
"Science-fiction."
"I guess I'll ask about my grandson getting a sales table. I'll ask somebody at the front desk to have him come help me. My bunions are bothering me." She gave me a wink.
"Sounds good."

I pulled into the parking lot and let DesertGrandma off. I went and parked somewhere else. More bad plannin' on my part. I should've taken her car, 'cause they might have been lookin' for the Jeep. Too late now.
I saw DG go in the front door. I went in a side door. I found a plastic plant to hide behind while DG was waitin' for L to come out.
L. came out and started talkin' to DG, when she all of a sudden she reared back and gave him a kick below the belt that I wouldn't have wanted to take, even wearin' an inch thick titanium cup.
He folded up faster than a house of cards on ground zero. I came chargin' over, and reached down into his suit pocket for his neuralizer and rooted around and got his gun. He was just rollin' around in agony.
"Get behind me and cover you eyes."
She did, and I yelled. "Attention, everybody."
I twisted my contacts and waited 2 seconds, then flashed the neuralizer. "None of you saw what happened here. He fell and hurt himself. I'm a doctor and am takin him to the hospital in my car which I'm about to go get."
I gave DG my keys. "Pull the Jeep over here. It's parked third row out, to the right a ways."
She skittered out the door, and started payin' attention to L. He was slowly gettin' over the kick, and in a little while he was gonna get bothersome.
He suddenly reached for his gun, which of couse was missin', 'cause I had it.
"Easy, L. I got your gun and your neuralizer."
The rage in his eyes was palpable.
I said, "L., I tried to do this easy, but you just wouldn't have any of it. So now we have to do it hard. Don't blame this on anybody but yourself."
I took the neuralizer and set it to freeze. My contacts were still twisted from the last flash. I flashed him.
A few seconds later I heard the Jeep drive up. DG came in and I told her to grab his feet. We carried him out and into the Jeep, got in and drove off.
"That wasn't very nice, Ma'am, leveling the poor bloke like that."
"He ought to be glad I didn't shoot 'em off. Kidnap my husband, will he."
"Look for a quiet spot where we can stop for a few minutes undisturbed. I need to question L."

zelda_pinwheel · 03-20-2009, 12:25 PM

red works well with dg. maybe he should hire her on for his next job.

(reminder to self : do NOT make desertgrandma mad !)

pshrynk · 03-20-2009, 12:26 PM

You wouldn't seem to have the "equipment" necessary to be at risk for that particular phase of DGma's repertoire.

zelda_pinwheel · 03-20-2009, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

You wouldn't seem to have the "equipment" necessary to be at risk for that particular phase of DGma's repertoire.

i'm pretty sure i wouldn't like it anyway !

montsnmags · 03-20-2009, 05:52 PM

You know, if she'd got L's attention with her little bangbang it would have been "feisty, old lady" and perfectly satisfactory. But a swift kick to the bollocks is all DGma and takes satisfaction to new levels of :snork:iness. Why if she were a few percentage points younger and I were a few straighter and we both were a lot more single...:wistful:

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03-17-2009, 02:04 PM	#76
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,550 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Patience, ladies! What if this were the old-fashioned radio hour? Didn't one have to wait a week for the next installment? (I'm too young to know) Ya have to wait a week to find out what happens next on your fav TV show. Fortunately, we don't always have to wait that long here!

03-17-2009, 02:52 PM	#77
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,528 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	Of course I was wearin' my protector contacts, and flicked them into the protect mode with my eyelids before L popped the neuralizer. He then droned on his instructions, and told me to leave and to forget all about the meetin'. I figger it was easier to play along, as I didn't want to start the Little Big Horn right there. When you're workin' a kidnapping case, the last thing you want to do is spook the kidnappers. They panick and all sorts of bad things can happen. Besides, I'd better get back to DG before the MIB flunkies got there. But first, I went to my car and got a GPS recorder out of the glove box and stuck it under L's car. It didn't broadcast, so it wouldn't show up on a bug scan. I'd pick it up tommorrow and see where he'd been. Jeeps aren't speed buggies, not if you have a passin' concern for your health. By the time I got to DesertGrandma's, there was a black Ford POS parked in the driveway. I parked my Jeep behind it to block it in. Looked like the party might get rough. I wished I had BadGoodDeb backin' me right now. I snuck around the house, listening. I heard murmurings in the kitchen, so I went back to the front door and quietly eased my way into the house. I saw DesertGrandma's pump .12 GA by the door and smiled. Loaded? If a western grandma was packin' a gun, it was surely loaded. I quietly picked up the shotgun and snuck back towards the kitchen. The MIB were talkin' to DesertGrandma and had their backs to me. They didn't figger anybody would sneak up on them. Heh, heh, heh... I charged into room and had my shotgun against the lead man's skull, before they knew what was happening. Bein' polite, I said, "Howdy boys, Elvis sent me." The other MIB made the mistake of turning my way and reachin' for his piece. DesertGrandma grabbed a skillet and sent it air-mail directly off his head, layin' him out flatter than a Pearl that's been open for two weeks. "Now that the preliminaries have been taken care of, I'd advise you not to twitch, unless you want your sinuses cleared from the backside." The Lead MIB guy said, "Do you know who I am?" "You're a fieldman for the local MIB. Who you are in particular I don't know or care. I've already had a chat with you boss, L. You guys are gettin' uppity, kidnappin' innocent citizens. "Now let's both move away slooowly from your assistant, So DG can check to see if he's still breathin'." We did, and I told Desert Grandma to check the flat guy's pulse. "While you're at it, take out everything he has in every pocket, and give him a good search. Take out everything he has, 'cept his eyeteeth." She did, and produced a small pile of hardware, but I didn't see a neuralizer. "You'll never get away with this, whoever you are." "The handle's Red, and I'm the guy who gave L his limp. I'm still breathin' and workin'. "Now I'd like to get your assistant some medical attention, but you're gonna have to cooperate for that. Slowly reach in and take out your neuralizer." He did. "Good. Now softly let it drop to the floor. Now carefully kick it over to DesertGrandma." DesertGrandma picked up the neuralizer. I told her how to set it, to freeze the guy I had the shotgun on. "Now close your eyes and the zap button." Another red flash. I carefully lowered the shotgun in case he was playin' possum, but he didn't flinch. I walked over to DesertGrandma, reset the neuralizer and told the lead MIB guy to call 911 and get help for his assistant and gave him a cock-and-bull story to explain what happened. When he got de-neuralized, he'd be chewed out, but that was later. I didn't want a corpse on my hands. After he called 911, I told him to forget about us being there and to wake up when he heard the ambulance. DesertGrandma and I cleared out quick, leaving behind the other agents stuff. It'd make the lead agent feel happier when he woke up not to have loose ends. "Ma'am, we got a passle of trouble. I wouldn't've busted in like that, 'cept I figgered they were goin' to haul you away too." "I might have seen my husband." "Yep, but I don't think I could have busted both of you out. Hop into the Jeep. We're out of minutes and we've got to make a plan pronto."

03-17-2009, 02:56 PM	#78
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,528 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	It's 77 F, the sky is blue, the birds are chirping, the plants are leafed out, and the Camellia is in full bloom. And you want me chained to a typewriter????

03-17-2009, 03:03 PM	#79
desertgrandma Enjoying the show.... Posts: 14,270 Karma: 10462843 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Arizona Device: A K1, Kindle Paperwhite, an Ipod, IPad2, Iphone, an Ipad Mini & macAir	Get back to the typwriter, you tease, and tell me where we're going!!! Oh, and I would have done just THAT, too. (no, seriously, go outside and enjoy your roses.......which varieties?)

03-17-2009, 03:21 PM	#83
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	I've always been partial to the wild rose varieties. My grandma had a huge bush on the side of her porch when I was growing up.

03-17-2009, 06:52 PM	#85
Patricia Reader Posts: 11,504 Karma: 8720163 Join Date: May 2007 Location: South Wales, UK Device: Sony PRS-500, PRS-505, Asus EEEpc 4G	I'm thinking of planting Souvenir de Malmaison. The old-fashioned roses smell so wonderful.

03-20-2009, 12:17 PM	#86
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,528 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	I started haulin' to the convention center. "DG, I've sorta stick my foot in it when I went to see L. Our only hope is to go back and capture him, and set up a prisoner swap. Even that's dicey. They may not be willin' to deal, and they out-man and out-gun us. How much grief are you willin' to handle?" DesertGrandma reached into her purse and pulled out a honkin' big revolver. A S&W Scholfield. "Is this grief enough?" "Yes ma'am. By the by, is that a .44-40?" "You seem to know your guns, Red." "Part of the profession. You're going to have to do the initial heavy liftin', much as I hate to make a client get involved. If he sees me first, he's liable to shoot first and not bother to ask questions. Can you do a little old lady act?" "Why sure, sonny. Can I bake you some cookies?" "Good enough. I need for you to get him out of the office, and keep him occupied until I can sneak up on him. I gave her the cover name L was workin under. Think you can handle it?" "Sure, Red. What's this convention about?" "Science-fiction." "I guess I'll ask about my grandson getting a sales table. I'll ask somebody at the front desk to have him come help me. My bunions are bothering me." She gave me a wink. "Sounds good." I pulled into the parking lot and let DesertGrandma off. I went and parked somewhere else. More bad plannin' on my part. I should've taken her car, 'cause they might have been lookin' for the Jeep. Too late now. I saw DG go in the front door. I went in a side door. I found a plastic plant to hide behind while DG was waitin' for L to come out. L. came out and started talkin' to DG, when she all of a sudden she reared back and gave him a kick below the belt that I wouldn't have wanted to take, even wearin' an inch thick titanium cup. He folded up faster than a house of cards on ground zero. I came chargin' over, and reached down into his suit pocket for his neuralizer and rooted around and got his gun. He was just rollin' around in agony. "Get behind me and cover you eyes." She did, and I yelled. "Attention, everybody." I twisted my contacts and waited 2 seconds, then flashed the neuralizer. "None of you saw what happened here. He fell and hurt himself. I'm a doctor and am takin him to the hospital in my car which I'm about to go get." I gave DG my keys. "Pull the Jeep over here. It's parked third row out, to the right a ways." She skittered out the door, and started payin' attention to L. He was slowly gettin' over the kick, and in a little while he was gonna get bothersome. He suddenly reached for his gun, which of couse was missin', 'cause I had it. "Easy, L. I got your gun and your neuralizer." The rage in his eyes was palpable. I said, "L., I tried to do this easy, but you just wouldn't have any of it. So now we have to do it hard. Don't blame this on anybody but yourself." I took the neuralizer and set it to freeze. My contacts were still twisted from the last flash. I flashed him. A few seconds later I heard the Jeep drive up. DG came in and I told her to grab his feet. We carried him out and into the Jeep, got in and drove off. "That wasn't very nice, Ma'am, leveling the poor bloke like that." "He ought to be glad I didn't shoot 'em off. Kidnap my husband, will he." "Look for a quiet spot where we can stop for a few minutes undisturbed. I need to question L."

03-20-2009, 12:25 PM	#87
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	red works well with dg. maybe he should hire her on for his next job. (reminder to self : do NOT make desertgrandma mad !)

03-20-2009, 12:26 PM	#88
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	You wouldn't seem to have the "equipment" necessary to be at risk for that particular phase of DGma's repertoire.

03-20-2009, 05:52 PM	#90
montsnmags Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,155 Karma: 4632658 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: none	You know, if she'd got L's attention with her little bangbang it would have been "feisty, old lady" and perfectly satisfactory. But a swift kick to the bollocks is all DGma and takes satisfaction to new levels of :snork:iness. Why if she were a few percentage points younger and I were a few straighter and we both were a lot more single...:wistful: