Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 717

wodin · 12-11-2019, 12:58 PM

HEISENBERG is speeding down the autobahn when a police officer pulls him over. “Do you know how fast you were going? 150 kilometers an hour!” the cop tells him. “Great,” Heisenberg replies, “now I’m completely lost.”

crich70 · 12-11-2019, 02:23 PM

The procrastinators club is getting ready to hold its first meeting. The first person to arrive at the meeting will be drummed out of the club just as soon as the remaining members get around to it.

drjd · 12-12-2019, 03:08 AM

Losing all your teeth would really suck.

doubleshuffle · 12-12-2019, 03:24 AM

Subordinate Clauses: Santa's Little Helpers.

BookCat · 12-12-2019, 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

HEISENBERG is speeding down the autobahn when a police officer pulls him over. “Do you know how fast you were going? 150 kilometers an hour!” the cop tells him. “Great,” Heisenberg replies, “now I’m completely lost.”

?

Occasionally they go right over my head!
If the policeman had said 'miles' I would have understood (Germans don't use miles) but I'm stumped!

doubleshuffle · 12-12-2019, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BookCat

?

Occasionally they go right over my head!
If the policeman had said 'miles' I would have understood (Germans don't use miles) but I'm stumped!

Wasn't it Heisenberg who found out that you can measure either the speed or the location of a particle, but never both at once? So now his speed has been measured, he has no idea about his location. Physicists are outrageously funny, as everybody knows.

doubleshuffle · 12-12-2019, 04:36 AM

The funny thing about that joke is how Americans can never get used to the speeds on German motorways. 150 km/h is nothing. (And no, I don't think it's great. We need a speed limit ASAP.)

Still, it was funny when I was driving that American guy around in Germany many years ago. He desperately wanted to try driving a bit himself on the Autobahn - no speed limit - woohoo - and then he chickened out at 130 km/h.

BookCat · 12-12-2019, 04:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

Wasn't it Heisenberg who found out that you can measure either the speed or the location of a particle, but never both at once? So now his speed has been measured, he has no idea about his location. Physicists are outrageously funny, as everybody knows.

Thanks. That's why I didn't get it. I'm not a scientist and hadn't heard of Heisenberg. I kept saying the name to see if it sounded like anything in English.

fum · 12-12-2019, 08:13 AM

I thought Heisenberg was Walter White. :-)

crich70 · 12-12-2019, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BookCat

?

Occasionally they go right over my head!
If the policeman had said 'miles' I would have understood (Germans don't use miles) but I'm stumped!

Heisenberg's principle was called the "Uncertainty" principle as well.

So of course since his speed has been ascertained it's no longer uncertain.

yvanleterrible · 12-12-2019, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BookCat

Thanks. That's why I didn't get it. I'm not a scientist and hadn't heard of Heisenberg. I kept saying the name to see if it sounded like anything in English.

I’m with you on that one too...

badgoodDeb · 12-12-2019, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crich70

Heisenberg's principle was called the "Uncertainty" principle as well.

So of course since his speed has been ascertained it's no longer uncertain.

I am a physicist (well, Bachelors degree. Computer Scientist now). No, he now IS uncertain about his location, because he cannot be certain about both things at the same time. That's what the uncertainty principle says.

However, it loses its 'funny' in the macro world, cuz it only applies to particles, which you have to disturb to find out either speed or location. Once you've disturbed them, by bouncing a photon (light particle or beam) off them, you may know the speed but you no longer know WHERE it is. Or vice versa.

Yeah, doesn't translate at all to macro objects, such as cars or humans.

But humor is lost for most any joke, if you have to explain it!

Purple Lady · 12-12-2019, 05:22 PM

I just took it very simply. I discarded the name, and figured if he was already lost and then driving that quickly he was now really lost.

But then I looked up 150 kilometers and saw that it was only 93 miles. I don't that was fast.

wodin · 12-12-2019, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

HEISENBERG is speeding down the autobahn when a police officer pulls him over. “Do you know how fast you were going? 150 kilometers an hour!” the cop tells him. “Great,” Heisenberg replies, “now I’m completely lost.”

Actually I didn't think it was that funny when I first posted it, but reading all the comments is hilarious. Thanks gang for all the chuckles.

pdurrant · 12-13-2019, 05:14 AM

It really needs re-wording. Something like 'Precisely 150 km/h'. The more precisely he knows velocity, the less knowledge he has about position.

(delta v times delta x >= h/(2 tau), so as delta v -> 0, delta x -> infinity. So if you know exactly how fast something is going, you have no idea where it is.)

12-12-2019, 05:22 PM	#10753
Purple Lady Grand Sorcerer Posts: 5,698 Karma: 16542228 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Pennsylvania Device: Huawei MediaPad M5, LG V30, Boyue T80S, Nexus 7 LTE, K3 3G, Fire HD8	I just took it very simply. I discarded the name, and figured if he was already lost and then driving that quickly he was now really lost. But then I looked up 150 kilometers and saw that it was only 93 miles. I don't that was fast. Last edited by Purple Lady; 12-12-2019 at 06:08 PM.

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12-11-2019, 12:58 PM	#10741
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	HEISENBERG is speeding down the autobahn when a police officer pulls him over. “Do you know how fast you were going? 150 kilometers an hour!” the cop tells him. “Great,” Heisenberg replies, “now I’m completely lost.”

12-11-2019, 02:23 PM	#10742
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,310 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	The procrastinators club is getting ready to hold its first meeting. The first person to arrive at the meeting will be drummed out of the club just as soon as the remaining members get around to it.

12-12-2019, 03:08 AM	#10743
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Losing all your teeth would really suck.

12-12-2019, 03:24 AM	#10744
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Subordinate Clauses: Santa's Little Helpers.

12-12-2019, 04:36 AM	#10747
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	The funny thing about that joke is how Americans can never get used to the speeds on German motorways. 150 km/h is nothing. (And no, I don't think it's great. We need a speed limit ASAP.) Still, it was funny when I was driving that American guy around in Germany many years ago. He desperately wanted to try driving a bit himself on the Autobahn - no speed limit - woohoo - and then he chickened out at 130 km/h.

12-12-2019, 08:13 AM	#10749
fum Zealot Posts: 120 Karma: 728454 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Århus, Denmark Device: PWII	I thought Heisenberg was Walter White. :-)

12-13-2019, 05:14 AM	#10755
pdurrant The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠 Posts: 74,181 Karma: 317179110 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Norfolk, England Device: Kindle Oasis	It really needs re-wording. Something like 'Precisely 150 km/h'. The more precisely he knows velocity, the less knowledge he has about position. (delta v times delta x >= h/(2 tau), so as delta v -> 0, delta x -> infinity. So if you know exactly how fast something is going, you have no idea where it is.)