Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 715

drjd · 11-28-2019, 03:23 PM

Why do mice need oiling? Because they squeak!

doubleshuffle · 11-29-2019, 03:47 AM

Did you know that in the Middle Ages they used to grow their own Spanish appetizers in the castles? No? Well, what did you think those tapestries were for?

BookCat · 11-29-2019, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

Did you know that in the Middle Ages they used to grow their own Spanish appetizers in the castles? No? Well, what did you think those tapestries were for?

?

Bookpossum · 11-30-2019, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BookCat

?

Something to do with tapas?

drjd · 11-30-2019, 05:37 AM

Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings...

One by one...

As each relative goes home.

doubleshuffle · 11-30-2019, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

Something to do with tapas?

Yes. It is a very painful joke.

Spoiler:

drjd · 12-01-2019, 08:30 AM

What do you call a broken can opener?

A can’t opener.

yvanleterrible · 12-01-2019, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

Yes. It is a very painful joke.

Spoiler:

Groan!

doubleshuffle · 12-02-2019, 01:06 AM

Mix your metaphors. It ain't rocket surgery.

drjd · 12-02-2019, 06:03 AM

My music history professor said that Sisyphus invented rock and roll.

mrgrtt123 · 12-02-2019, 11:50 PM

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his sport dog collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: 'Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

doubleshuffle · 12-03-2019, 07:03 AM

What's so special about Christmas anyway? It's just like a day at the office: You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

doubleshuffle · 12-04-2019, 04:51 AM

Did you hear about the standoff of the grammar professors? It was past tense.

drjd · 12-05-2019, 06:38 AM

Dear Santa, For this year I'm requesting a BIG bank account and a SMALL body.

P.S. Please don't mix them up like you did last year.

doubleshuffle · 12-06-2019, 03:53 AM

People thought I'd never get over my Phil Collins obsession. Well, take a look at me now.

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11-28-2019, 03:23 PM	#10711
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Why do mice need oiling? Because they squeak!

11-29-2019, 03:47 AM	#10712
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Did you know that in the Middle Ages they used to grow their own Spanish appetizers in the castles? No? Well, what did you think those tapestries were for?

11-30-2019, 05:37 AM	#10715
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings... One by one... As each relative goes home.

12-01-2019, 08:30 AM	#10717
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What do you call a broken can opener? A can’t opener.

12-02-2019, 01:06 AM	#10719
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Mix your metaphors. It ain't rocket surgery.

12-02-2019, 06:03 AM	#10720
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	My music history professor said that Sisyphus invented rock and roll.

12-02-2019, 11:50 PM	#10721
mrgrtt123 Member Posts: 18 Karma: 224754 Join Date: Nov 2019 Device: iPad 2	An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his sport dog collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: 'Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.' The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

12-03-2019, 07:03 AM	#10722
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	What's so special about Christmas anyway? It's just like a day at the office: You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

12-04-2019, 04:51 AM	#10723
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Did you hear about the standoff of the grammar professors? It was past tense.

12-05-2019, 06:38 AM	#10724
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Dear Santa, For this year I'm requesting a BIG bank account and a SMALL body. P.S. Please don't mix them up like you did last year.

12-06-2019, 03:53 AM	#10725
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	People thought I'd never get over my Phil Collins obsession. Well, take a look at me now.