Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 713

drjd · 11-16-2019, 03:23 PM

I have trouble liking brass bands. They are all made up of a bunch of blowhards.

doubleshuffle · 11-16-2019, 03:46 PM

What's the definition of a gentleman? -- Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

drjd · 11-17-2019, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

What's the definition of a gentleman? -- Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

I do, but don't know how to.

doubleshuffle · 11-18-2019, 02:06 AM

<groanalert/>

There's a new restaurant in town. It's Elvis-themed -- only for people who love meat tender.

drjd · 11-18-2019, 09:48 AM

Having not done laundry for a few days, I had to dig deep in my drawers for more underwear.

yvanleterrible · 11-19-2019, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Having not done laundry for a few days, I had to dig deep in my drawers for more underwear.

You shouldn’t wear edible underwear too long. They melt.

Adoby · 11-19-2019, 10:08 AM

Also I would expect them to taste funny?

drjd · 11-19-2019, 03:01 PM

The best underwear jokes are brief.

doubleshuffle · 11-20-2019, 03:58 AM

<redgroanalert/>

How many ears does Mr Spock have? Three: a right ear, a left ear, and a final front ear.

drjd · 11-20-2019, 07:38 AM

The homeless man always thought of owning a mansion and was dwelling on it!

pdurrant · 11-21-2019, 03:45 AM

To the thief who has stolen my Microsoft Office DVD-ROM:

I shall not rest until I have seen you prosecuted for this heinous crime.
You have my Word.

drjd · 11-21-2019, 09:32 AM

A mathematician once found a proof so shocking that it almost gave him a corollary.

yvanleterrible · 11-21-2019, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

To the thief who has stolen my Microsoft Office DVD-ROM:

I shall not rest until I have seen you prosecuted for this heinous crime.
You have my Word.

I would help that thief to keep his newfound Word because I saw the light and turned to fresh Pages.

doubleshuffle · 11-21-2019, 01:09 PM

He rides that horse much farther than you'd expect.

drjd · 11-22-2019, 04:07 PM

I didn't work 40 hours a week at the medical marijuana store. I was a pot time worker.

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11-16-2019, 03:23 PM	#10681
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I have trouble liking brass bands. They are all made up of a bunch of blowhards.

11-16-2019, 03:46 PM	#10682
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	What's the definition of a gentleman? -- Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

11-18-2019, 02:06 AM	#10684
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	<groanalert/> There's a new restaurant in town. It's Elvis-themed -- only for people who love meat tender.

11-18-2019, 09:48 AM	#10685
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Having not done laundry for a few days, I had to dig deep in my drawers for more underwear.

11-19-2019, 10:08 AM	#10687
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	Also I would expect them to taste funny?

11-19-2019, 03:01 PM	#10688
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The best underwear jokes are brief.

11-20-2019, 03:58 AM	#10689
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	<redgroanalert/> How many ears does Mr Spock have? Three: a right ear, a left ear, and a final front ear.

11-20-2019, 07:38 AM	#10690
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The homeless man always thought of owning a mansion and was dwelling on it!

11-21-2019, 03:45 AM	#10691
pdurrant The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠 Posts: 74,201 Karma: 317184274 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Norfolk, England Device: Kindle Oasis	To the thief who has stolen my Microsoft Office DVD-ROM: I shall not rest until I have seen you prosecuted for this heinous crime. You have my Word.

11-21-2019, 09:32 AM	#10692
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A mathematician once found a proof so shocking that it almost gave him a corollary.

11-21-2019, 01:09 PM	#10694
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	He rides that horse much farther than you'd expect.

11-22-2019, 04:07 PM	#10695
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I didn't work 40 hours a week at the medical marijuana store. I was a pot time worker.