Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 707

drjd · 09-04-2019, 06:08 AM

An unlucky skydiver's last pun: 'Ah chute!'

drjd · 09-05-2019, 06:15 AM

I've decided to become a math teacher, but I'm only going to teach subtraction.

I just want to make a difference.

drjd · 09-06-2019, 06:45 AM

A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."

"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once."

"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."

drjd · 09-07-2019, 06:04 AM

The mailman who was kidnapped by organ harvesters got delivered.

drjd · 09-09-2019, 06:55 AM

Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring.

She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?"

He replied, "It cuts off my circulation."

She answered back, "It's supposed to!"

drjd · 09-10-2019, 05:58 AM

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.

drjd · 09-11-2019, 08:04 AM

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message.

The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone."I went to get a haircut," was the reply.

"But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?"

"Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."

drjd · 09-12-2019, 05:42 AM

Where do you find all the political papers?

In the Cabinet!

PoP · 09-12-2019, 07:18 AM

To the Ultimate Question he jokingly answered

-80538738812075974 ³ +80435758145817515 ³ +12602123297335631 ³

Bookpossum · 09-12-2019, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoP

To the Ultimate Question he jokingly answered

-80538738812075974 ³ +80435758145817515 ³ +12602123297335631 ³

Thank goodness for Wikipedia!

drjd · 09-13-2019, 06:20 AM

Everyone hated my weight puns. They all left en mass.

drjd · 09-15-2019, 02:30 PM

Q: What do you call a bunch of rabbits in a row all hopping backwards?

A: A receding hare line.

drjd · 09-17-2019, 05:40 AM

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.

It’s called lunch.

drjd · 09-19-2019, 03:14 PM

Someone keeps dumping soil all over my garden bed, and I don't know who's doing it?

The plot thickens...

drjd · 09-21-2019, 04:11 PM

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide!

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09-04-2019, 06:08 AM	#10591
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	An unlucky skydiver's last pun: 'Ah chute!'

09-05-2019, 06:15 AM	#10592
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I've decided to become a math teacher, but I'm only going to teach subtraction. I just want to make a difference.

09-06-2019, 06:45 AM	#10593
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you." "Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once." "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."

09-07-2019, 06:04 AM	#10594
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The mailman who was kidnapped by organ harvesters got delivered.

09-09-2019, 06:55 AM	#10595
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring. She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?" He replied, "It cuts off my circulation." She answered back, "It's supposed to!"

09-10-2019, 05:58 AM	#10596
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

09-11-2019, 08:04 AM	#10597
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone."I went to get a haircut," was the reply. "But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?" "Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."

09-12-2019, 05:42 AM	#10598
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Where do you find all the political papers? In the Cabinet!

09-12-2019, 07:18 AM	#10599
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	To the Ultimate Question he jokingly answered -80538738812075974 ³ +80435758145817515 ³ +12602123297335631 ³

09-13-2019, 06:20 AM	#10601
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Everyone hated my weight puns. They all left en mass.

09-15-2019, 02:30 PM	#10602
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Q: What do you call a bunch of rabbits in a row all hopping backwards? A: A receding hare line.

09-17-2019, 05:40 AM	#10603
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

09-19-2019, 03:14 PM	#10604
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Someone keeps dumping soil all over my garden bed, and I don't know who's doing it? The plot thickens...

09-21-2019, 04:11 PM	#10605
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Why did the British cross the Atlantic? To get to the other tide!