Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 704

drjd · 07-25-2019, 03:22 AM

Why God created Eve?

God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

5thWiggleWife · 07-25-2019, 09:05 AM

And his keys and his shoes and his glasses and read directions....

Really the list is endless.

Bookpossum · 07-25-2019, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5thWiggleWife

And his keys and his shoes and his glasses and read directions....

Really the list is endless.

It certainly is!

drjd · 07-26-2019, 06:44 AM

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

drjd · 07-27-2019, 06:07 AM

I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers.

"How would you feel," I asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?"

"Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date."

drjd · 07-28-2019, 06:47 AM

"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you."

Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine. I'll take two."

drjd · 07-29-2019, 12:35 PM

A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they were a few miles from home when they ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck approached.

Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank but he didnt have a bucket or can.

One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if he could use it. He said yes and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts of gas into the pan. He waved goodbye to the nuns and left.

The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their gas tank when the highway patrol came by.

The trooper stopped and watched for a minute, then he said: "Sisters, I dont think it will work, but you sure have faith!"

drjd · 07-31-2019, 06:20 AM

A guy calls the hospital and a nurse answers the phone.The guy said, "Send in help because my wife is going into labor.

"The nurse said, "Is this her first child?"

The guy replied, "No, this is her husband."

Bookpossum · 07-31-2019, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

A guy calls the hospital and a nurse answers the phone.The guy said, "Send in help because my wife is going into labor.

"The nurse said, "Is this her first child?"

The guy replied, "No, this is her husband."

drjd · 08-01-2019, 06:14 AM

"Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said the interviewer. "Can you tell me what gross aggrandized annuity means?"

"Certainly," replied the applicant. "It means I don't get the job."

timebug · 08-02-2019, 04:45 AM

My brother raves about his 'automatic' car, but it can't be that good,as he has to be there to make it go.....!

drjd · 08-02-2019, 08:00 AM

All of the riders for the old west mail service had to be small. That’s why they called it the Puny Express.

drjd · 08-03-2019, 02:50 PM

issybird · 08-03-2019, 07:48 PM

She's a Lady, is Pulaski.

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Bookpossum · 08-03-2019, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by issybird

She's a Lady, is Pulaski.

Attachment 172759

08-03-2019, 02:50 PM	#10558
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Attached Thumbnails

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07-25-2019, 03:22 AM	#10546
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Why God created Eve? God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

07-25-2019, 09:05 AM	#10547
5thWiggleWife I’m a Happy Boy! Posts: 12,791 Karma: 96828311 Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Evil Canada (goatees ya know) Device: iPad 2017, Acer A500, Kobo Glo, iPad mini	And his keys and his shoes and his glasses and read directions.... Really the list is endless.

07-26-2019, 06:44 AM	#10549
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

07-27-2019, 06:07 AM	#10550
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," I asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date."

07-28-2019, 06:47 AM	#10551
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you." Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine. I'll take two."

07-29-2019, 12:35 PM	#10552
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they were a few miles from home when they ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck approached. Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank but he didnt have a bucket or can. One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if he could use it. He said yes and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts of gas into the pan. He waved goodbye to the nuns and left. The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their gas tank when the highway patrol came by. The trooper stopped and watched for a minute, then he said: "Sisters, I dont think it will work, but you sure have faith!"

07-31-2019, 06:20 AM	#10553
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A guy calls the hospital and a nurse answers the phone.The guy said, "Send in help because my wife is going into labor. "The nurse said, "Is this her first child?" The guy replied, "No, this is her husband."

08-01-2019, 06:14 AM	#10555
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	"Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said the interviewer. "Can you tell me what gross aggrandized annuity means?" "Certainly," replied the applicant. "It means I don't get the job."

08-02-2019, 04:45 AM	#10556
timebug Ancient Sage Posts: 14,585 Karma: 15493448 Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Derby U.K. Device: Kobo Reader	My brother raves about his 'automatic' car, but it can't be that good,as he has to be there to make it go.....!

08-02-2019, 08:00 AM	#10557
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	All of the riders for the old west mail service had to be small. That’s why they called it the Puny Express.

08-03-2019, 07:48 PM	#10559
issybird o saeclum infacetum Posts: 21,392 Karma: 235678911 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: New England Device: Mini, H2O, Glo HD, Aura One, PW4, PW5	She's a Lady, is Pulaski.