Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 702

Figlilly · 06-29-2019, 02:46 AM

I liked this:

drjd · 06-29-2019, 06:14 AM

My son’s math teacher called him average...

I just think he’s mean.

drjd · 06-30-2019, 04:50 AM

Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?

Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?

yvanleterrible · 06-30-2019, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?

Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?

Two options. Zero month or eternity...

wodin · 07-01-2019, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?

Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?

But who holds the lien?

drjd · 07-02-2019, 06:30 AM

Why is no one friends with Dracula?

Because he's a pain in the neck.

drjd · 07-03-2019, 06:26 AM

"Where do you see yourself in six months?"

"I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

drjd · 07-04-2019, 06:17 AM

A man is at his wife’s funeral and a woman asks him if she can say a word.

He says okay and she stands up, saying ‘Plethora’.

The man replies, ‘Thanks, that means a lot’.

drjd · 07-05-2019, 06:52 AM

A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."

"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once."

"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."

drjd · 07-06-2019, 02:47 PM

At the annual general meeting of the professional photographers many high-resolutions were put forward!

drjd · 07-07-2019, 06:41 AM

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a calendar?

A leap year!

drjd · 07-08-2019, 06:51 AM

I made a graph of all my past relationships...It has an "ex" axis and a "why" axis.

drjd · 07-10-2019, 10:45 AM

My local college just announced the end of a scientific study...Results showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

drjd · 07-11-2019, 07:00 AM

I asked the doctor how my check-up went. All he said was, 'Get will soon.'

wodin · 07-11-2019, 01:18 PM

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

06-29-2019, 02:46 AM	#10516
Figlilly Zealot Posts: 122 Karma: 2514066 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kindle Oasis 2&3, Paperwhites, Kindle Touch, Kobo Clara, IPad Air2	I liked this: Attached Thumbnails

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06-29-2019, 06:14 AM	#10517
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	My son’s math teacher called him average... I just think he’s mean.

06-30-2019, 04:50 AM	#10518
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month? Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?

07-02-2019, 06:30 AM	#10521
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

07-03-2019, 06:26 AM	#10522
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	"Where do you see yourself in six months?" "I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

07-04-2019, 06:17 AM	#10523
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A man is at his wife’s funeral and a woman asks him if she can say a word. He says okay and she stands up, saying ‘Plethora’. The man replies, ‘Thanks, that means a lot’.

07-05-2019, 06:52 AM	#10524
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you." "Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once." "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."

07-06-2019, 02:47 PM	#10525
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	At the annual general meeting of the professional photographers many high-resolutions were put forward!

07-07-2019, 06:41 AM	#10526
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a calendar? A leap year!

07-08-2019, 06:51 AM	#10527
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I made a graph of all my past relationships...It has an "ex" axis and a "why" axis.

07-10-2019, 10:45 AM	#10528
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	My local college just announced the end of a scientific study...Results showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

07-11-2019, 07:00 AM	#10529
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I asked the doctor how my check-up went. All he said was, 'Get will soon.'

07-11-2019, 01:18 PM	#10530
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.