The Vent and Rant Thread - Page 128

GeoffC · 02-27-2009, 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nekokami

I was serious about that offer, btw. If you need help with the cat boxes, fountains, washing sheets, mopping floors, etc., let me know. I think I'm not the only one among us who's a bit worried about you out there.

quite right - but for some of us it's a frustrating long way away.....

LazyScot · 02-28-2009, 05:34 PM

Dear People of Sweden,

What heinous crime have we committed towards your country? What unspeakable atrocities have we perpetrated on you? What devastating affront did we give you? Have we offended you beyond the tolerance of man? Did we ever attempt to destroy your country? Did we infest your land with a plague beyond biblical proportions? Did we raise the EU against your meatballs? Did we ever attempt to block you from Eurovision? Did we not value your contributions to cinema? Did we not adopt many words of your language into our own?

So why, oh why, did you send us your "famous furniture store"? Have you no understanding of what it does to this country, to its people, its moral fibre, its families? Is it just that you are getting kick-backs from divorce lawyers? Do you truly want to destroy the environment by the huge traffic queues that build up, and the repeated visits to every store in the country to track down that vital missing shelf? And why have you not studied they housing of the UK? Do you not know that straight, or flat, or perpendicular are concepts so alien to UK housing as to virtually illegal? Can you not realise that this means your flat pack furniture never fits? And have you never realised the love-hatred the UK has with Europe? Has no-one even hinted to you that this means normal European sizes just don't fit over here?

Do you really think the people of the UK are rats? Is it really fair to disguise a human scale lab rat maze as a shop? Is it not even conceivable to you that the experience of wandering round an endless, windowless maze of dis-orientating displays might contravene various EU and UN human rights? And if you must make us self collect, why do you first attempt to hide the location of the items, and then make sure there are never the right trolleys? And is the insistence of having empty stock shelves, but with the desired products available, wrapped in plastic, out of our reach with no assistants available, some attempt to make us all go mad? Are you in the pay of the UK Psychiatrists' Association? Or is it, perhaps, the pharmaceutical companies that produce drugs to lower blood pressure?

Please, for the sake of continued cordial relations, and our national survival, please take back all your furniture stores. Or do you want us to send you Morris Dancers, Cricket and the Alcopop Happy Hour?

ShortNCuddlyAm · 02-28-2009, 05:37 PM

I hate going to Ikea, too

zelda_pinwheel · 02-28-2009, 05:41 PM

oh my fuzzy squirrels, IKEA !!! oh the trail of tears !!!! oh the torture !!!! oh the mental anguish !!!!! particularly if you are trying to go in public transport. IKEA hates people who have no car of their own (maybe they're in league with volvo). i could tell you stories... but i won't, because clearly you've already got your own, and i don't want to add to your suffering.

Fledchen · 02-28-2009, 05:49 PM

Billy the bookcase says, "Hello!"

http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/Ikea

I have a lot of stuff from Ikea, and am for the most part pleased with it, but I agree that the actual shopping experience leaves much to be desired.

ravenne · 02-28-2009, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Dear People of Sweden,

What heinous crime have we committed towards your country? What unspeakable atrocities have we perpetrated on you? What devastating affront did we give you? Have we offended you beyond the tolerance of man? Did we ever attempt to destroy your country? Did we infest your land with a plague beyond biblical proportions? Did we raise the EU against your meatballs? Did we ever attempt to block you from Eurovision? Did we not value your contributions to cinema? Did we not adopt many words of your language into our own?

So why, oh why, did you send us your "famous furniture store"? Have you no understanding of what it does to this country, to its people, its moral fibre, its families? Is it just that you are getting kick-backs from divorce lawyers? Do you truly want to destroy the environment by the huge traffic queues that build up, and the repeated visits to every store in the country to track down that vital missing shelf? And why have you not studied they housing of the UK? Do you not know that straight, or flat, or perpendicular are concepts so alien to UK housing as to virtually illegal? Can you not realise that this means your flat pack furniture never fits? And have you never realised the love-hatred the UK has with Europe? Has no-one even hinted to you that this means normal European sizes just don't fit over here?

Do you really think the people of the UK are rats? Is it really fair to disguise a human scale lab rat maze as a shop? Is it not even conceivable to you that the experience of wandering round an endless, windowless maze of dis-orientating displays might contravene various EU and UN human rights? And if you must make us self collect, why do you first attempt to hide the location of the items, and then make sure there are never the right trolleys? And is the insistence of having empty stock shelves, but with the desired products available, wrapped in plastic, out of our reach with no assistants available, some attempt to make us all go mad? Are you in the pay of the UK Psychiatrists' Association? Or is it, perhaps, the pharmaceutical companies that produce drugs to lower blood pressure?

Please, for the sake of continued cordial relations, and our national survival, please take back all your furniture stores. Or do you want us to send you Morris Dancers, Cricket and the Alcopop Happy Hour?

Poor LazyScot, I can feel your pain. I hate IKEA, too, but it´s the only place in Germany where you can get original BLÖSSA Starksweinglögg in winter.

You definitely need lots of BLÖSSA to calm down after an IKEA-visit, so they make you come over and over again...

zelda_pinwheel · 02-28-2009, 05:56 PM

yes, i do actually like most of my ikea stuff too (what little i have of it, since have i mentioned how it's nearly impossible to actually shop there if you don't have a car ??), although in paris as well architects must have been drinking absinthe when they designed my building, there is not a single right angle or two parallel walls in the place, so that tends to complicate things somewhat. but i would like it a lot more if they made it a bit easier to get there / back and get your stuff from there to your home without having your own vehicule.

Patricia · 02-28-2009, 05:57 PM

Ikea pillowcases are far too small for UK pillows. (UK pillows are approximately 28 inches long. Do the Swedes all have very small heads?)
Their lampshades often need adaptor rings.

I've largely given up going to Ikea.

Wetdogeared · 02-28-2009, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patricia

Ikea pillowcases are far too small for UK pillows. (UK pillows are approximately 28 inches long. Do the Swedes all have very small heads?)
Their lampshades often need adaptor rings.

I've largely given up going to Ikea.

Somewhere along the line, Standard and Queen size pillows became the same.

Patricia · 02-28-2009, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenne

Poor LazyScot, I can feel your pain. I hate IKEA, too, but it´s the only place in Germany where you can get original BLÖSSA Starksweinglögg in winter.

You definitely need lots of BLÖSSA to calm down after an IKEA-visit, so they make you come over and over again...

Is it self-assembly Starksweinglögg?

zelda_pinwheel · 02-28-2009, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patricia

Is it self-assembly Starksweinglögg?

yep, it comes with a little tiny allen key.

i've not tried out the pillowcases or the lapshades, but i had for a while an idea sofa / bed thing, and i can tell you that ikea mattresses are too *large* for all sheets except ikea sheets.

ravenne · 02-28-2009, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patricia

Is it self-assembly Starksweinglögg?

Yes, you can open it with this Swedish bottle opener:

Wetdogeared · 02-28-2009, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenne

Yes, you can open it with this Swedish bottle opener:

You're turning my crank, right?

GeoffC · 03-01-2009, 04:12 AM

Ikea? Ikea?
Luckily not one close to me.

nekokami · 03-02-2009, 11:17 PM

We bought a dining room table and chairs, and a computer desk, through the Ikea catalog, and they shipped it to us. Just saying.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
I just have to vent...	lacymarie7575	Sony Reader	5	08-18-2010 07:59 PM
I need to vent! Booksonboard! Ugh!	Mrgauth	News	25	12-17-2009 09:26 AM
Why, Oh Why! [RANT]	Vesper	Lounge	19	06-19-2008 11:50 AM
Am I allowed to vent here?	sborsody	Which one should I buy?	25	06-12-2007 01:30 PM

02-28-2009, 05:34 PM	#1907
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	Dear People of Sweden, What heinous crime have we committed towards your country? What unspeakable atrocities have we perpetrated on you? What devastating affront did we give you? Have we offended you beyond the tolerance of man? Did we ever attempt to destroy your country? Did we infest your land with a plague beyond biblical proportions? Did we raise the EU against your meatballs? Did we ever attempt to block you from Eurovision? Did we not value your contributions to cinema? Did we not adopt many words of your language into our own? So why, oh why, did you send us your "famous furniture store"? Have you no understanding of what it does to this country, to its people, its moral fibre, its families? Is it just that you are getting kick-backs from divorce lawyers? Do you truly want to destroy the environment by the huge traffic queues that build up, and the repeated visits to every store in the country to track down that vital missing shelf? And why have you not studied they housing of the UK? Do you not know that straight, or flat, or perpendicular are concepts so alien to UK housing as to virtually illegal? Can you not realise that this means your flat pack furniture never fits? And have you never realised the love-hatred the UK has with Europe? Has no-one even hinted to you that this means normal European sizes just don't fit over here? Do you really think the people of the UK are rats? Is it really fair to disguise a human scale lab rat maze as a shop? Is it not even conceivable to you that the experience of wandering round an endless, windowless maze of dis-orientating displays might contravene various EU and UN human rights? And if you must make us self collect, why do you first attempt to hide the location of the items, and then make sure there are never the right trolleys? And is the insistence of having empty stock shelves, but with the desired products available, wrapped in plastic, out of our reach with no assistants available, some attempt to make us all go mad? Are you in the pay of the UK Psychiatrists' Association? Or is it, perhaps, the pharmaceutical companies that produce drugs to lower blood pressure? Please, for the sake of continued cordial relations, and our national survival, please take back all your furniture stores. Or do you want us to send you Morris Dancers, Cricket and the Alcopop Happy Hour?

02-28-2009, 05:37 PM	#1908
ShortNCuddlyAm WWHALD Posts: 7,879 Karma: 337114 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here	I hate going to Ikea, too

02-28-2009, 05:41 PM	#1909
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	oh my fuzzy squirrels, IKEA !!! oh the trail of tears !!!! oh the torture !!!! oh the mental anguish !!!!! particularly if you are trying to go in public transport. IKEA hates people who have no car of their own (maybe they're in league with volvo). i could tell you stories... but i won't, because clearly you've already got your own, and i don't want to add to your suffering.

02-28-2009, 05:49 PM	#1910
Fledchen Guru Posts: 663 Karma: 84658 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Minnesota, USA Device: PB360+, Sony950, VR Stream, iPod Touch, iPad	Billy the bookcase says, "Hello!" http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/Ikea I have a lot of stuff from Ikea, and am for the most part pleased with it, but I agree that the actual shopping experience leaves much to be desired.

02-28-2009, 05:56 PM	#1912
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	yes, i do actually like most of my ikea stuff too (what little i have of it, since have i mentioned how it's nearly impossible to actually shop there if you don't have a car ??), although in paris as well architects must have been drinking absinthe when they designed my building, there is not a single right angle or two parallel walls in the place, so that tends to complicate things somewhat. but i would like it a lot more if they made it a bit easier to get there / back and get your stuff from there to your home without having your own vehicule.

02-28-2009, 05:57 PM	#1913
Patricia Reader Posts: 11,504 Karma: 8720163 Join Date: May 2007 Location: South Wales, UK Device: Sony PRS-500, PRS-505, Asus EEEpc 4G	Ikea pillowcases are far too small for UK pillows. (UK pillows are approximately 28 inches long. Do the Swedes all have very small heads?) Their lampshades often need adaptor rings. I've largely given up going to Ikea.

03-01-2009, 04:12 AM	#1919
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Ikea? Ikea? Luckily not one close to me.

03-02-2009, 11:17 PM	#1920
nekokami fruminous edugeek Posts: 6,745 Karma: 551260 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Northeast US Device: iPad, eBw 1150	We bought a dining room table and chairs, and a computer desk, through the Ikea catalog, and they shipped it to us. Just saying.