Silliness Escape Committee - Page 34

pshrynk · 02-19-2009, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Iain William Killyuall
Manager - Complaints Area
Montsnmags Enterprises

Dear Sir,

Due to apparent mental incapacitation, I have been granted power of attorney over Mr. LazyScot. As such, your letter has been passed on to me.

The medical personnel treating Mr. LazyScot are somewhat at a loss as a cause to the source of his incapacity, and following my disclosure of your letter, wonder if you might be able to shed some light on his rather strange behaviour. Among his "symptoms" are:

an insistence on wearing a tin-foil all-in-one suit with hood, and a fencing mask, all the time (this has provided a challenge in administering electroconvulsive therapy),
a habit of answering questions with phrases such as "be careful asking questions, you might be acutelated if you ask the right question", or "the blue one... no, no the other blue one, yes that blue one, over there, next to the fish" before giggling manically and ending up rolling around on the floor in hysterics.
he is very upset if his USB key is removed from him, the one brief period when it was taken from him all that was seen was a partial list of filenames before he grabbed it back (the charge nurse of the day is still on sick leave), among the filenames was the cryptic "Who Vera, Harv"
at a thankfully decreasing rate (currently about once per day) he shouts "incoming" and appears to anyone watching to go very fuzzy before falling over and saying someone incomprehensible things like "that tasted mauve",
he breaks into a cold sweat when anything like a small fury animal appears (generally he is kept clear of any Television Sets),
he seems to have developed an immunity and all sedatives, and, judging by the time he found the senior consultants' cocktail cabinet, he is also resistant to alcohol.

Despite the extensive medical publications his condition is providing them with, they would appreciate it if you can provide any useful information. I will gladly pass the such information on. I am assuming that, given their interest in your letter, you would not wish to contact them directly.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr Xander Tortion, LLB,
Partner, Billit, Chargeit and Grabit,
Legal Services.

Yah? Hello? This is the cleaning service. Montsnmags International (Holdings) is out right now and can't be allowed to use the phone. Something about sharp objects and by sharp they really mean any.

Anyway, while they were out, we decided to really give the old place a cleaning. We came across a box of crumpled up invoices written on the backs of some paper towels in a box labelled "LazyScott" in crayon.

Looks like he's past due about A$5,000,000,000,001.23 for something called, "ZCD pangalactic hyperdimensional interfenestration." Someone there gonna pay this bill?

GeoffC · 02-20-2009, 09:18 AM

He's done a bunk !!!

montsnmags · 02-20-2009, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Yah? Hello? This is the cleaning service. Montsnmags International (Holdings) is out right now and can't be allowed to use the phone. Something about sharp objects and by sharp they really mean any.
...

Cheers,
Marc

Wetdogeared · 02-25-2009, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Cheers,
Marc

Do squirrels have opposing thumbs, looks like a set-up!

By the way, I escaped for a short while and put under the witness protection program and hidden in a location which, I found out too late, was owned and operated by a subsiduary of montsnmags International (Holdings).

WDE.

desertgrandma · 02-25-2009, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

Do squirrels have opposing thumbs, looks like a set-up!

By the way, I escaped for a short while and put under the witness protection program and hidden in a location which, I found out too late, was owned and operated by a subsiduary of montsnmags International (Holdings).

WDE.

Which means you never escaped at all.........welcome back.....

pshrynk · 02-25-2009, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

Do squirrels have opposing thumbs, looks like a set-up!

By the way, I escaped for a short while and put under the witness protection program and hidden in a location which, I found out too late, was owned and operated by a subsiduary of montsnmags International (Holdings).

WDE.

Nice try, though.

montsnmags · 02-25-2009, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

Do squirrels have opposing thumbs, looks like a set-up!
...

Montsnmags Enterprises, Genetics and Body Modification Division. The PNS had some requests, easily satisfied, but, well...consequence is an event horizon we can't see beyond. Investigations continue. There is some..."breakdown", in communications within and beyond the PNS. Things are sensitive. We're treading lightly. We recommend greater-than-usual caution when approaching any small, furry invertebrate, particularly those on the "cute" side. Also, watch for penguins, and guard your passwords. Those responsible will be found. LazyScot, please report to your nearest Montsnmags Enterprises Security branch - you are not a suspect with all known authorities, but uncontrollable factors may imply a necessity to ensure your safety. The Outbrane Containment Field has been fully-furnished for your pleasure and convenience. Do not be alarmed - we have very good reason to believe that you have a reasonable probability of not suffering rapid, squirrelative dismemberment, as long as you attend to a Security branch immediately.

Cheers,
Marc
Montsnmags Enterprises

Sweetpea · 02-26-2009, 06:45 AM

I get it...

You're just luring LazyScot in, trying to get him to believe you. And once he's in your grasp, he'll never be able to escape anymore.

So, LazyScot, don't believe Marc! He's only trying to sweettalk you into his clutches!

Mindy · 02-27-2009, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetpea

I get it...

You're just luring LazyScot in, trying to get him to believe you. And once he's in your grasp, he'll never be able to escape anymore.

Or maybe that's just what they want you to think.....

Sweetpea · 02-27-2009, 05:33 PM

Hmm, so, they want me to think they want to lure LazyScot in, so I warn LazyScot not to be lured in. But, as they want me to think that, they don't want LazyScot to be lured in, and they have another plan ready to get him into their clutches. But, now that I know that they want me to know it, maybe I should just act the other way, and tell LazyScot to believe them. And maybe that is the reason why they want me to know that they know what I should know. And in that case, they do want LazyScot and hope I will eventually believe they don't want him and thus tell LazyScot to ignore my first warning.

LazyScot · 02-27-2009, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetpea

I get it...

You're just luring LazyScot in, trying to get him to believe you. And once he's in your grasp, he'll never be able to escape anymore.

So, LazyScot, don't believe Marc! He's only trying to sweettalk you into his clutches!

Don't worry, if I can every get out of the clutches of my current doctors who have currently put me into a fully tied strait-jacket (and given I'm still wearing a fencing mask, you don't want to think about how I'm typing this, but just be glad that the doctor I was in session with had to rush out to an urgent case of a spare slot on the golf course meaning I've been left in the vicinity of this computer) I'll make sure not to trust evil marc. Certainly not since he once dumped a tripper load of squirrels on me and then made a dog disappear.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindy

Or maybe that's just what they want you to think.....

I thought they didn't want me to think.

Oh dear. Where are the pandaborg when you need them -- another ME(Alcohol Division) incoming. And it looks like the opposite of a signularity. And tastes the same.

<thump>

pshrynk · 02-27-2009, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetpea

Hmm, so, they want me to think they want to lure LazyScot in, so I warn LazyScot not to be lured in. But, as they want me to think that, they don't want LazyScot to be lured in, and they have another plan ready to get him into their clutches. But, now that I know that they want me to know it, maybe I should just act the other way, and tell LazyScot to believe them. And maybe that is the reason why they want me to know that they know what I should know. And in that case, they do want LazyScot and hope I will eventually believe they don't want him and thus tell LazyScot to ignore my first warning.

That pretty much sums it up, yeah.

nekokami · 02-27-2009, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetpea

Hmm, so, they want me to think they want to lure LazyScot in, so I warn LazyScot not to be lured in. But, as they want me to think that, they don't want LazyScot to be lured in, and they have another plan ready to get him into their clutches. But, now that I know that they want me to know it, maybe I should just act the other way, and tell LazyScot to believe them. And maybe that is the reason why they want me to know that they know what I should know. And in that case, they do want LazyScot and hope I will eventually believe they don't want him and thus tell LazyScot to ignore my first warning.

"Therefore, clearly I should choose the goblet in front of me."

Sweetpea · 02-28-2009, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nekokami

"Therefore, clearly I should choose the goblet in front of me."

Unless they want you to think you should choose the goblet in front of you, which means they clearly want you to choose the goblet behind you.

montsnmags · 02-28-2009, 03:15 AM

Look, you lot, just shut up and take your bloody medicine!(*) Sheesh, it's like being at an(other) Existentialist Geek Convention.

(* Not you of course, Mindy. You take or give whatever you wish, my sweet, sweet fairy)

Cheers,
Marc

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02-20-2009, 09:18 AM	#497
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	He's done a bunk !!!

02-26-2009, 06:45 AM	#503
Sweetpea Grand Sorcerer Posts: 9,707 Karma: 32763414 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Krewerd Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6	I get it... You're just luring LazyScot in, trying to get him to believe you. And once he's in your grasp, he'll never be able to escape anymore. So, LazyScot, don't believe Marc! He's only trying to sweettalk you into his clutches!

02-27-2009, 05:33 PM	#505
Sweetpea Grand Sorcerer Posts: 9,707 Karma: 32763414 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Krewerd Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6	Hmm, so, they want me to think they want to lure LazyScot in, so I warn LazyScot not to be lured in. But, as they want me to think that, they don't want LazyScot to be lured in, and they have another plan ready to get him into their clutches. But, now that I know that they want me to know it, maybe I should just act the other way, and tell LazyScot to believe them. And maybe that is the reason why they want me to know that they know what I should know. And in that case, they do want LazyScot and hope I will eventually believe they don't want him and thus tell LazyScot to ignore my first warning.

02-28-2009, 03:15 AM	#510
montsnmags Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,155 Karma: 4632658 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: none	Look, you lot, just shut up and take your bloody medicine!() Sheesh, it's like being at an(other) Existentialist Geek Convention. ( Not you of course, Mindy. You take or give whatever you wish, my sweet, sweet fairy) Cheers, Marc