Feedback on new cover please

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Hunh? I don't recall seeing anything about him saying that he "hoped" that his readers would "call him out" on the Monk error. I don't even remember any discussion about the monk thing.

BUT, that being said, any idea in that direction is too clever by half--by which I mean, it's not. No reader thinks it's amusing for a writer to "give them" an error, so that they can behave like performing monkeys expected to do a trick for a peanut. That's ridiculous. And you're right, Cin; those of us who read have little patience with that type of errata. Just because the book is supposed to be an over-the-top Dark Comedy doesn't mean that it can get away with mistakes disguised (excused) as Easter Eggs.

Hitch

Comment might have been in other thread.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Hitch

I mean, the protagonist and her friends could tell donors, depending on their gender/ideaology that it means "animal rescue fund," or "friends" or tell their fellow feminists it means "animal rescuer Feminazis," or...lots of fun stuff.

I'm not saying that ARF is the best or whatever; just that SOMETHING would be better than the mysterious, undefined IWS. It would even be mo' bettah if the acronym had two meanings; a public one, and one that Lainey and/or her friends laughingly use. SCARF: Seriously Crazy Animal Rescuer Feminists, which in public could be Something-City Animal Rescuer Feminists, or whatever. Or something-citizens ARF. Serious Citizens, or Staunch Citizens' ARF.

Man, you could go wild with that stuff. I know that Gregg said that he wanted the readers to GUESS, but...that kinda doesn't ring right for me.

I feel like it's just MISSING something.

Hitch

I have changed my tune on that, Hitch. They convinced me in the other thread (the blurb thread, which this cover thread has turned into). But I have to have something with three initials in it because the IWS is in the book many times, and they do have an organization and they're called "IWSers." I'm not committed to IWS but ARF won't work because I plan on this being a series on various animals.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by pdurrant

I can't see any reason for it either. ARF seems the obvious choice. Almost anything would be better than a meaningless set in initials that are unpronounceable.

Not stuck! Not stuck! Not stuck! Paul, it's going to be a series and the organization will stay the same but the animals will change, so ARF is too limiting. (It's brilliant but limiting.)

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

Lose the seem to.
Either she is killing men or she isn't. No seems to it.

"Seem to" moderates it. Without it she's a psycho serial killer.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Gregg Bell

I have changed my tune on that, Hitch. They convinced me in the other thread (the blurb thread, which this cover thread has turned into). But I have to have something with three initials in it because the IWS is in the book many times, and they do have an organization and they're called "IWSers." I'm not committed to IWS but ARF won't work because I plan on this being a series on various animals.

MARS? Mad Animal Rescue Skills? And the IWSers are Martians?

I'll keep thinking. I know you're going to have other critters, but ARF still works, really.

Hitch

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Catlady

Rather, something like: "... wherever Lainey goes, she leaves dead men behind."

That's good, Catlady. Thanks. Considering it.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Hunh? I don't recall seeing anything about him saying that he "hoped" that his readers would "call him out" on the Monk error. I don't even remember any discussion about the monk thing.

BUT, that being said, any idea in that direction is too clever by half--by which I mean, it's not. No reader thinks it's amusing for a writer to "give them" an error, so that they can behave like performing monkeys expected to do a trick for a peanut. That's ridiculous. And you're right, Cin; those of us who read have little patience with that type of errata. Just because the book is supposed to be an over-the-top Dark Comedy doesn't mean that it can get away with mistakes disguised (excused) as Easter Eggs.

Hitch

Hitch, I didn't really mean I hoped readers would call me out. I just meant in a scene loaded with so much action I didn't think people were going to stop and think: "Hey, Lainey has experience in a Buddhist Monastery? Wait, no, aren't only men in Buddhist Monasteries?" That sort of thing. I'm not out to jerk anybody around.

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Gregg Bell

"Seem to" moderates it. Without it she's a psycho serial killer.

That isn't how I read the seems too.
It doesn't moderate it. Either she kills men or she doesn't.
You cannot seem to kill a person.
Do they seem dead then jump back up?

If I read your blurb when buying a book, the seems to would automatically put you on the don't bother list because the author is using words wrong.

Or are you trying to say it seems every time she gets around men they wind up dead?
Totally different meaning.

Listen hun, I will be honest with you. Please find an editor and a cover designer.

What we are reading from your work and what you say you are writing are total opposites.

You say it is cartoonish because of some descriptions. I didn't see anything cartoonish in that scene.

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Gregg Bell

Hitch, I didn't really mean I hoped readers would call me out. I just meant in a scene loaded with so much action I didn't think people were going to stop and think: "Hey, Lainey has experience in a Buddhist Monastery? Wait, no, aren't only men in Buddhist Monasteries?" That sort of thing. I'm not out to jerk anybody around.

Yes Gregg, it is exactly that type of thing that will immediately pull a reader out of a story.

You know I seem to vaguely recall on another forum a few years back, several people telling an author to make sure he gets his facts straight before just putting something impossible in a book. That author had about as many reasons as you are coming up with now.

ARF Animal Rights Feminists.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Hitch

MARS? Mad Animal Rescue Skills? And the IWSers are Martians?

I'll keep thinking. I know you're going to have other critters, but ARF still works, really.

Hitch

Hitch, see the other thread in the Writer's Corner. I'm committed to IWS but open to what it means.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

That isn't how I read the seems too.
It doesn't moderate it. Either she kills men or she doesn't.
You cannot seem to kill a person.
Do they seem dead then jump back up?

If I read your blurb when buying a book, the seems to would automatically put you on the don't bother list because the author is using words wrong.

Or are you trying to say it seems every time she gets around men they wind up dead?
Totally different meaning.

Listen hun, I will be honest with you. Please find an editor and a cover designer.

What we are reading from your work and what you say you are writing are total opposites.

You say it is cartoonish because of some descriptions. I didn't see anything cartoonish in that scene.

You're right about "seems to." Thanks. And thanks for the advice to find an editor and cover designer. Appreciate it.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

Yes Gregg, it is exactly that type of thing that will immediately pull a reader out of a story.

You know I seem to vaguely recall on another forum a few years back, several people telling an author to make sure he gets his facts straight before just putting something impossible in a book. That author had about as many reasons as you are coming up with now.

ARF Animal Rights Feminists.

I'm stuck with the IWS, though. See the other thread. Thanks.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Gregg Bell

I'm stuck with the IWS, though. See the other thread. Thanks.

I saw the other thread, and I STILL do not know WHY. What, because some beta readers read it? Surely, that's not the reason?

Hitch

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

That isn't how I read the seems too.
It doesn't moderate it. Either she kills men or she doesn't.
You cannot seem to kill a person.
Do they seem dead then jump back up?

I'm starting to think you're right about this.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Hitch

I saw the other thread, and I STILL do not know WHY. What, because some beta readers read it? Surely, that's not the reason?

Hitch

Yeah, Hitch. Catlady convinced me to bail on IWS. See the new thread asking for naming help. Thanks.