Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 658

drjd · 08-28-2017, 09:31 AM

Fashion designers may not be conservative but they are rather clothes minded.

drjd · 08-30-2017, 11:38 AM

The inventor of paper towels died yesterday. Flags are at half-moist.

yvanleterrible · 08-31-2017, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

The inventor of paper towels died yesterday. Flags are at half-moist.

Not your best one but better half a joke then none. Half karma to you...

doubleshuffle · 08-31-2017, 07:47 AM

I've just discovered the "Tom Swifties" in my Mammoth Book of One-Liners. Some of them are great:

"What a charming doorway!" said Tom entranced.
"I'll order the Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly.
"I have a BA in social work," said Tom with a degree of concern.
"The seesaw is upside down," said Tom saucily.

drjd · 08-31-2017, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Not your best one but better half a joke then none. Half karma to you...

Half thanks to you!!

drjd · 09-02-2017, 12:10 PM

Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac? He knew in advance what he was going to forget.

drjd · 09-05-2017, 04:51 PM

A vacationer called a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw from the beach," he was told.
"But how will I recognize it?" asked the man.
Came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows."

drjd · 09-06-2017, 02:30 PM

News Headlines

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
President Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

badgoodDeb · 09-06-2017, 02:44 PM

yvanleterrible · 09-06-2017, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

A vacationer called a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw from the beach," he was told.
"But how will I recognize it?" asked the man.
Came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows."

I would have said:"You can't see it just now because it's high tide."

Andy_T · 09-07-2017, 05:57 AM

Scott Hilburn, again!

Andy_T · 09-07-2017, 05:59 AM

And, for good measure, some vintage Gary Larson...

Andy_T · 09-07-2017, 06:11 AM

Come to think of it, a little pun is never wrong to make the trio complete ...

Andy_T · 09-07-2017, 06:35 AM

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

Bilbo1967 · 09-07-2017, 07:40 AM

My parents live in a seaside town which has a little bit of a drug problem. Nothing serious, just some local youths using marijuana. The police have had a bit of a crackdown recently and weed is being jettisoned by the local users when they see a police car approaching.

Unfortunately, the seabirds in the area have taken to eating the discarded drugs. The local council, however, have stated that they won't be doing anything about it, saying that

Spoiler:

09-06-2017, 02:30 PM	#9863
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	News Headlines Miners Refuse to Work after Death If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood President Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Steals Clock, Faces Time Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training Include your Children when Baking Cookies Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

09-07-2017, 05:57 AM	#9866
Andy_T Evangelist Posts: 431 Karma: 5121676 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Hannover, Germany Device: iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, Kindle KB, NT, Fire, PW II	Terrible moments in history... Scott Hilburn, again! Attached Thumbnails

09-07-2017, 05:59 AM	#9867
Andy_T Evangelist Posts: 431 Karma: 5121676 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Hannover, Germany Device: iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, Kindle KB, NT, Fire, PW II	And, for good measure, some vintage Gary Larson... Attached Thumbnails

09-07-2017, 06:11 AM	#9868
Andy_T Evangelist Posts: 431 Karma: 5121676 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Hannover, Germany Device: iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, Kindle KB, NT, Fire, PW II	Come to think of it, a little pun is never wrong to make the trio complete ... Attached Thumbnails

09-07-2017, 07:40 AM	#9870
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10	My parents live in a seaside town which has a little bit of a drug problem. Nothing serious, just some local youths using marijuana. The police have had a bit of a crackdown recently and weed is being jettisoned by the local users when they see a police car approaching. Unfortunately, the seabirds in the area have taken to eating the discarded drugs. The local council, however, have stated that they won't be doing anything about it, saying that Spoiler: they will leave no tern unstoned!

08-28-2017, 09:31 AM	#9856
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Fashion designers may not be conservative but they are rather clothes minded.

08-30-2017, 11:38 AM	#9857
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The inventor of paper towels died yesterday. Flags are at half-moist.

08-31-2017, 07:47 AM	#9859
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	I've just discovered the "Tom Swifties" in my Mammoth Book of One-Liners. Some of them are great: "What a charming doorway!" said Tom entranced. "I'll order the Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly. "I have a BA in social work," said Tom with a degree of concern. "The seesaw is upside down," said Tom saucily.

09-02-2017, 12:10 PM	#9861
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac? He knew in advance what he was going to forget.

09-05-2017, 04:51 PM	#9862
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A vacationer called a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw from the beach," he was told. "But how will I recognize it?" asked the man. Came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows."

09-06-2017, 02:44 PM	#9864
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,574 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1

09-07-2017, 06:35 AM	#9869
Andy_T Evangelist Posts: 431 Karma: 5121676 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Hannover, Germany Device: iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, Kindle KB, NT, Fire, PW II	I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

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