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Old 04-12-2017, 06:59 AM   #9676
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked."Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
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Old 04-14-2017, 08:25 PM   #9677
wodin
Illiterate
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The new robot postie has arrived. I wonder what it meant by "exterminate ... exterminate
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Old 04-15-2017, 02:08 AM   #9678
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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A backwards poet writes inverse.
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Old 04-16-2017, 06:51 AM   #9679
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.

“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
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Old 04-16-2017, 04:27 PM   #9680
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Stealing someone's coffee is called mugging.
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Old 04-17-2017, 04:07 AM   #9681
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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When applicant numbers to follow optometry were low, the School authorities decided to re-advertise, to dilate the pupils!
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Old 04-17-2017, 06:26 PM   #9682
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Do hungry time-travelers ever go back four seconds?
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Old 04-20-2017, 09:20 PM   #9683
issybird
o saeclum infacetum
issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.issybird ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Make it stop!
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Old 04-21-2017, 03:05 AM   #9684
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
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Old 04-21-2017, 04:39 AM   #9685
Bookpossum
Snoozing in the sun
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Quote:
Originally Posted by issybird View Post
Make it stop!
Who knew that unicorns drank alcohol?
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Old 04-22-2017, 03:57 AM   #9686
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.
The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home.

"Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? "

Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
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Old 04-23-2017, 01:07 AM   #9687
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I tried wearing some tight jeans, but I couldn't pull it off.
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Old 04-23-2017, 06:22 AM   #9688
drjd
The Couch Potato
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If you want to hear a quick comeback try walking away without paying.
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Old 04-23-2017, 08:47 AM   #9689
John K
Reader
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I solved the problem of too many visiting relatives.
I borrowed money from the rich ones and loaned it to the poor ones.
Now none of them come back.
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Old 04-24-2017, 04:08 AM   #9690
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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How does one scoop ice cream? It's a matter of great cone sequence.
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