Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 642

Bookpossum · 03-13-2017, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by issybird

And then the insomniac dyslexic agnostic Trinitarian lay awake wondering if three is a Dog.

Excellent!

Fbone · 03-13-2017, 03:48 PM

The painter was hospitalized due to too many strokes.

drjd · 03-14-2017, 10:29 AM

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Fbone · 03-14-2017, 05:10 PM

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

Bilbo1967 · 03-14-2017, 05:11 PM

I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!

Bilbo1967 · 03-14-2017, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterT

Have you heard about the insomniac, dyslexic agnostic?

He lay awake at night wondering if there is a Dog

Quote:

Originally Posted by issybird

And then the insomniac dyslexic agnostic Trinitarian lay awake wondering if three is a Dog.

These two remind me of a period in my life when i was into flagellation, necrophilia and bestiality.

I gave it up when I realised I was flogging a dead horse.

Fbone · 03-15-2017, 02:22 AM

I should have been sad when my flash light batteries died, but I was delighted.

drjd · 03-15-2017, 05:03 AM

If the lengths of all planks on pirate ships are the same, is that Plank's constant?

Fbone · 03-16-2017, 09:54 AM

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

badgoodDeb · 03-16-2017, 02:13 PM

Cheerleaders who get off on the wrong foot:

Lean to the right, lean to the left,
Stand up! Sit down!
Heft, heft, heft [for weight lifting competitions]

.....
Warp! Weave! Weft! [for weavers meetings]

.....
We're bereft! [teens whose SO is off at college, without them]

....
Whack and Cleft! [lumberjacks]

Fbone · 03-17-2017, 02:40 AM

Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends, but what would be the point?

drjd · 03-17-2017, 06:59 AM

Husbands wedded to shopaholic wives face severe economic downtown turns!

wodin · 03-17-2017, 05:46 PM

An Irish priest is driving and is stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor. "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water, says the priest."
"Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, he's done it again!"

wodin · 03-17-2017, 06:03 PM

Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription: "Here lies a politician and an honest man."

"Faith now," exclaims Reilly "I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave?"

cromag · 03-17-2017, 08:56 PM

In honor of St. Patrick's Day ...

What's Irish and stays outside all summer long?

Paddy O'Furniture.

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03-13-2017, 03:48 PM	#9617
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,331 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The painter was hospitalized due to too many strokes.

03-14-2017, 10:29 AM	#9618
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	As I said before, I never repeat myself.

03-14-2017, 05:10 PM	#9619
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,331 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	My math teacher called me average. How mean!

03-14-2017, 05:11 PM	#9620
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10	I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!

03-15-2017, 02:22 AM	#9622
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,331 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I should have been sad when my flash light batteries died, but I was delighted.

03-15-2017, 05:03 AM	#9623
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	If the lengths of all planks on pirate ships are the same, is that Plank's constant?

03-16-2017, 09:54 AM	#9624
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,331 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

03-16-2017, 02:13 PM	#9625
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,583 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Cheerleaders who get off on the wrong foot: Lean to the right, lean to the left, Stand up! Sit down! Heft, heft, heft [for weight lifting competitions] ..... Warp! Weave! Weft! [for weavers meetings] ..... We're bereft! [teens whose SO is off at college, without them] .... Whack and Cleft! [lumberjacks]

03-17-2017, 02:40 AM	#9626
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,331 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends, but what would be the point?

03-17-2017, 06:59 AM	#9627
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Husbands wedded to shopaholic wives face severe economic downtown turns!

03-17-2017, 05:46 PM	#9628
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	An Irish priest is driving and is stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor. "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water, says the priest." "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, he's done it again!"

03-17-2017, 06:03 PM	#9629
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription: "Here lies a politician and an honest man." "Faith now," exclaims Reilly "I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave?"

03-17-2017, 08:56 PM	#9630
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 27,020 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	In honor of St. Patrick's Day ... What's Irish and stays outside all summer long? Paddy O'Furniture.