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Old 12-18-2008, 12:52 AM   #16
montsnmags
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Cheers,
Marc
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Old 12-18-2008, 01:35 AM   #17
Slite
Icanhasdonuts?
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Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
Elephanta Claus!

What do sheep say to Santa?
Seasons bleatings!

Where do polar bears go to vote?
At the North Poll

What did Cinderella say when the Chemist lost her photographs ?
Someday my prints will come !

What does Santa Claus write on his Christmas cards ?
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L !!) !

How do witches tell the time?
With a witch-watch!

If I'm standing at the North Pole, facing the South Pole, and the East is on my left hand, what's on my right hand?
Fingers!
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Old 12-18-2008, 09:22 AM   #18
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slite View Post
What did Cinderella say when the Chemist lost her photographs ?
Someday my prints will come !
aaaarg !!

(best thing about christmas, after terrible christmas jokes : LOLskwerls !)
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Old 12-18-2008, 06:30 PM   #19
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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Old 12-19-2008, 03:39 AM   #20
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Icanhasdonuts?
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What bee can never be understood? ...
A mumble-bee.

What do you call a bull asleep on the ground? ...
A bulldozer.

What do you call a sick crocodile? ...
An illigator.

What do you call a train loaded with toffee? ...
A chew chew train.

Why don't bananas sunbathe? ...
Because they'd peel.

Did you hear about the leopard who had a bath every day? ...
He's spotless.

What do hedgehogs have for lunch? ...
Prickled onions.
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Old 12-19-2008, 08:11 AM   #21
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slite View Post
Did you hear about the leopard who had a bath every day? ...
He's spotless.

What do hedgehogs have for lunch? ...
Prickled onions.
heeheehee !!!
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Old 12-21-2008, 11:27 PM   #22
desertgrandma
Enjoying the show....
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How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?


You wake up wet !

Merry Christmas!
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Old 12-23-2008, 09:53 AM   #23
pshrynk
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel View Post


hahahahahaha !!!! man, i love these !!! too funny !!! thanks !!!!!
Yeah, but you like Christmas crackers, too.
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Old 12-23-2008, 10:04 AM   #24
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pshrynk View Post
Yeah, but you like Christmas crackers, too.
what's your point ?
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Old 12-23-2008, 10:22 AM   #25
slayda
Retired & reading more!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desertgrandma View Post
How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?


You wake up wet !

Merry Christmas!
I didn't know that snowmen were incontinent.
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Old 12-23-2008, 11:36 AM   #26
desertgrandma
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slayda View Post
I didn't know that snowmen were incontinent.
uh...........'sigh................(walks away)
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Old 12-23-2008, 12:42 PM   #27
DixieGal
Hi There!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by junkml View Post
kind of holiday...

What's red and green and goes 300 mph?
A frog in a blender.

What do you get when you add milk?
Frog Nogg.
Falalala! Take the top off while it's blending, and you will deck the halls!
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Old 12-23-2008, 06:11 PM   #28
nohmi2
Pensively observing.
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Confused Christmas.
Christmas Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged


SCHIZOPHRENIA -
Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY -
We Three Queens Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA -
I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC -
Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

MANIA -
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and
Office and Town ...or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER -
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell
you why.

DEPRESSION -
Silent anhedonia, Holy anhedonia. All is calm, All is pretty lonely.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE -
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY -
Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE -
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it
all away).
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Old 12-23-2008, 06:16 PM   #29
vivaldirules
When's Doughnut Day?
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Originally Posted by desertgrandma View Post
uh...........'sigh................(walks away)
You did NOT almost say that, dg! I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
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Old 12-23-2008, 06:22 PM   #30
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You did NOT almost say that, dg! I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
Nooo........I'm a good girl, honest!! (giggle)
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