Silliness Escape Committee - Page 28

UncleDuke · 12-21-2008, 03:48 PM

forgive me for asking, why would anyone ever want to escape this place, it was hard enough finding it in the first place!

LazyScot · 12-22-2008, 05:55 AM

"Quick, the liquidizers, " said Pandaborg-B as he and the rest of the Pandaborg grabbed the boxes, tore the open and turned on the liquidizers.

"Llama Kung Fu" said Dorothy the llama and all the llamas, apart from the still drunk Arthur, promptly started the most amazing martial arts high-speed movements kicking flying Kumquats into the walls or trampling them into a pulp.

"karma llarma chameleon" giggled Arthur, who attempted to kick four different kumquats, one with each of his legs, and totally failed to connect with any of them. The topologically impossible movement that resulted caused the kumquats to completely miss him, and he collapsed back onto the floor.

Between the llama's feet and the actions of the liquidizer wielding Pandaborg, a small safe area was created around the door to the server room, amidst the blizzard of killer kumquats.

"Definitely needs vodka." Slurred Arthur, (who had been poured into the VentureOne to wheel him out of the building) as he drank his way through the by-product of the liquidizers.

Quickly LazyScot (who was still wheeling the VentureOne) and Nekokami dived into the server room. Inside sitting conveniently next to its carrier case (which looked like a dubious and cheap prop from Space 1999) were three brains, all of the right size.

"Eeewwww, " said LazyScot squeamishly as he carefully scooped up the brain and placed it into the travelling container. "GeoffC had darn'd well better appreciate this, " said LazyScot as he placed the container into the VentureOne.

"Ooohhh Cocktail ice?" slurred Arthur as he attempted to open the container.

"NOO! " shouted LazyScot firmly, as he moved the container into the luggage compartment at the back of the VentureOne.

Back outside the server room, the group, retraced its steps into the lab. "Vodka. Definitely wants vodka, " hiccupped Arthur at an inopportune moment. "Oh thanks."

"1954 Belles of St Trinians." Shouted LazyScot. And with that the machinery went into overdrive and started churning out large numbers of hockey stick wielding fourth formers. Backing out of the lab, LazyScot added "The sixth formers have Arab Boy through there, but you'll have to get rid of all those kumquats." With that a raucous cheering arose and the fourth formers headed off in the other direction waving their hockey sticks to devastating affect eliminating very large numbers of kumquats, and taking at least half the kumquat blizzard with them.

"Girls, Girls. Be careful. Oh be careful." Said a very worried Miss Fritton following after the forth formers.

"i don't even want to know," said Zelda as the group slowly fought their way back to the door.

"Hic. Haec. Hoc." Said an eruditely drunk Arthur through his Kumquat Vodka cocktails.

"Just a minute, I wanted to look for something, " said LazyScot as the group backed up to the reception, and passed a computer. "A French Keyboard? Of all the impossible… Zelda, where is the 'a'?" And after about 30 seconds searching, continued "no that's okay -- found it." With that he typed in a few words, clicked on a few links and then downloaded something to his USB key.

"Whilst you're at that computer, could you just run a program for me?" asked the BatAI. "The icon on the top right-hand corner; the one that looks like a pair of scissors cutting a network wire?"

"Alright, but get the engine running," replied LazyScot as, under the dying embers of blizzard of kumquats, they made it back to the bat pickup and loaded on the VentureOne.

"Has anyone seen Zelda?" asked Nekokami, nervously.

"She's just---" said LazyScot, stopping abruptly and looking room. "She was here just a minute ago." And with that Pandaborg-B and the Pandaborg Soldier from the Knights of Literature and the Pandaborg Builder from the Mall disappeared back into the building wielding only their liquidizers, and almost immediately appear together with a slightly Kumquat splattered Zelda pushing a large trolley with a very large brown sack on it. The sack appeared to be snoring.

"ask me no questions and i'll tell you no lies." Zelda responded to LazyScot's enquiring look.

"Deal, " said LazyScot, as they loaded everything into the now overloaded BatPickUp. Reflecting on the last few minutes, LazyScot turned to the BatAI and asked, "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" as they drover rapidly way from the buildings.

He was answered with silence.

"Right. Where now? And think long and hard about where you take us…"

There was a dull "whump" from the direction of the buildings, that quivered and collapsed in on themselves, and out of which came a horde of hockey stick wielding schoolgirls followed by a headmistress.

"Well?" asked LazyScot, glaring at the BatAI.

"It was doing work for The Knights of Literature. And I'm not convinced that they do no evil."

"Okay. I'll let you off with that one, " said LazyScot as the continued rapidly down the road. "Where now?"

zelda_pinwheel · 12-22-2008, 06:18 AM

""Hic. Haec. Hoc." Said an eruditely drunk Arthur through his Kumquat Vodka cocktails."

i had to choose a sentence almost at random to quote/lolpanda because i couldn't decide which part made me laugh the most.

i don't know if i'll be able to stand the suspense until the next part. what's (or who's... ?

) in the brown sack ???? what are the brains for ???? will arthur ever sober up ??????

LazyScot · 12-22-2008, 06:48 AM

Scene: the BatPickUp is driving along a quiet road towards a complex surrounded by a large chain-link fence. Not to far away an open gate leading into the complex is clearly visible, with a large sign by the side of the gate.

"And are you absolutely sure there are no killer kumquats, armed police, violent wolves or anything else that might constitute a danger to us." Questioned LazyScot in an aggressive tone.

"Well, not absolutely, but this is comparatively benign. There should be no physical dangers." Replied the BatAI, somewhat nervously, eyeing the reprogramming toolkit LazyScot was casually toying with.

"COMPARATIVELY?" shouted LazyScot.

"Well, compared to a shopping mall."

"Hmmm… So what is this place?" asked LazyScot as the Bat PickUp came to a stop by the entrance.

"Look at the sign."

"POOP?" said everyone, except for Zelda who said "poop?" and the BatAI who stayed smugly silent.

"Yup. Promotions Operations: Opticians and Psychiatrists."

Everybodies mouths open and closed in unison. Several times.

"Okay. That is just wrong on so many levels, " responded LazyScot eventually. "Off the top of my head, what on earth would Psychiatrists and Opticians have in common. Then, why do they need to go around selling themselves. Next, why does that involve what looks suspiciously like some form of evil research establishment? And finally what the heck makes you think this will help us get hold of some music or rabbits."

"I don't suppose I could just ask you to trust me, and go in, could I?"

"I have just one word to say to that. Kumquat."

"Okay," resignedly replied the BatAI. "Where to start? Hmm. Have you every wandered down a street and seen something that you think is impossible? A lot of people have. Their response is usually one of two things. Either they think their eyes need a check-up, or they think they are loosing their mind and need to talk about it. You see, when apparently impossible things happen psychiatrists and opticians benefit in increased trade. Now, most people think that there is more than enough work to keep the psychiatrists and opticians busy, but that is only because of the hard, secretive work of POOP. Essentially, its job is to keep people doubting their sanity and/or eyesight. Now that requires a lot of research and work to continually produce new ways of making people think that reality has just gone away on holiday. Hence this establishment. And, it just so happens that some of the things they use for to make people doubt reality are rabbits and music."

zelda_pinwheel · 12-22-2008, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyScot

"POOP?" said everyone, except for Zelda who said "poop?" and the BatAI who stayed smugly silent.

heheheh

Quote:

"Okay," resignedly replied the BatAI. "Where to start? Hmm. Have you every wandered down a street and seen something that you think is impossible? A lot of people have. Their response is usually one of two things. Either they think their eyes need a check-up, or they think they are loosing their mind and need to talk about it. You see, when apparently impossible things happen psychiatrists and opticians benefit in increased trade. Now, most people think that there is more than enough work to keep the psychiatrists and opticians busy, but that is only because of the hard, secretive work of POOP. Essentially, its job is to keep people doubting their sanity and/or eyesight. Now that requires a lot of research and work to continually produce new ways of making people think that reality has just gone away on holiday. Hence this establishment. And, it just so happens that some of the things they use for to make people doubt reality are rabbits and music."

i KNEW it !!!! (i'm sure i don't actually need these glasses at all !!! those rabbits was PLANTED !!! planted, i tell ya !!)

Patricia · 12-22-2008, 08:07 AM

Zelda's got Tom Waits in that sack, hasn't she?

zelda_pinwheel · 12-22-2008, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patricia

Zelda's got Tom Waits in that sack, hasn't she?

ssssssssshhhh !!!!! low profile, please !!! what did i say about questions ??

pshrynk · 12-22-2008, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleDuke

forgive me for asking, why would anyone ever want to escape this place, it was hard enough finding it in the first place!

That's the question we keep asking and he just keeps on trying to get away. :sheesh:

zelda_pinwheel · 12-22-2008, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

That's the question we keep asking and he just keeps on trying to get away. :sheesh:

but it's so much fun to watch though ! (i'm not worried. he'll be back, you know.

)

Mindy · 12-22-2008, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

but it's so much fun to watch though ! (i'm not worried. he'll be back, you know.

)

The question is, did he ever really leave..... ?

nekokami · 12-22-2008, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindy

The question is, did he ever really leave..... ?

That was my question, too, but perhaps I've just watched too many episodes of The Prisoner. (Is that actually possible?)

zelda_pinwheel · 12-22-2008, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindy

The question is, did he ever really leave..... ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by nekokami

That was my question, too, but perhaps I've just watched too many episodes of The Prisoner. (Is that actually possible?)

shhhh you two ! what are you thinking ?? he'll catch on !!

LazyScot · 12-22-2008, 07:38 PM

Scene: LazyScot and the group, minus the llamas who are trying (vainly to sober Arthur up) are wandering down a corridor. LazyScot stops.

"Remind me. Just how did the BatAI talk us into this?" asked LazyScot.

"Unfortunately the script is somewhat vague on that point, " replied Pandaborg-B.

"Thanks, " said LazyScot slightly sarcastically and very resignedly. "I guess we should look for the last items." The group approach a T-junction. "I'll go right, you and the rest of the Pandaborg can go left." And with that groups split up.

"Any idea what we are looking for, " LazyScot optimistically asked the BatAI.

"Sure; you're after the angora rabbits, so look for the Pet Department, and for the music, I suggest you look for the Pub and Diner Equipment Department. There are bound to be a signs on the door…."

"Why does that clear, logical and sensible answer make me nervous?"

"Because you are cynical?"

"And why do we think that might be?" retorted LazyScot, who read the first of the signs on the doors. "Politicians Training Department? What on earth to Politicians have to do with POOP? Or vice-versa?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"oh yes please, " interrupted Zelda before LazyScot could comment.

"Well, have you ever heard a politician's speech and thought that you must be loosing your grip on reality? Or seen something and then heard a politician talking about it and wondered if your actually saw the same thing? Or, have you listed to one of their speeches and started to really go mad? Politicians have been trained and educated, for quite some time, to assist POOP in its mission, and on a regular basis fulfil their role very satisfactorily," explained the BatAI.

"So you're saying that politicians are a bunch of POOP puppets?" asked LazyScot.

"I wouldn't use language quite like that, and I'm pretty certain that not all politicians are so employed, but I suppose you have captured the essence of it, " replied the BatAI.

"Airline Pricing Depar…. NO! I don't want to know. Zelda don't even think about asking." Said LazyScot reading the door opposite. After a few more doors, they eventually found the Pub and Diner Equipment Department.

"I definitely have a bad feeling about this," said LazyScot as they opened the door, to reveal a huge room, containing assorted tables, chairs and juke boxes.

zelda_pinwheel · 12-22-2008, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyScot

"Airline Pricing Depar…. NO! I don't want to know. Zelda don't even think about asking." Said LazyScot reading the door opposite.

oh don't worry, no explaining is necessary of THAT one, particularly after my recent tour of the great white north...

i say we take a jukebox as well. i've always wanted one of those.

LazyScot · 12-22-2008, 07:47 PM

As they entered the room, Zelda headed over to the juke box, "i wonder what its music selection is like?" she wondered. "wow. chocolate jesus!!!! a little early taster is called for i think." And with that jukebox developed the voice of drunken gravel, as LazyScot glared at Zelda who replied, "trust me, it's not a cat in the bag, so how could i let it out?"

LazyScot leaned against one of the chairs as the song started, and the chair promptly started wobbling. "I suppose you're going to try and convince me that they wobbly chairs are also the by product of POOP?"

"Well, some are. Try and put something under the short leg, " suggested the BatAI. LazyScot tried this, cursed, stood back, frowned and then put more under another leg, muttered again, tried a bit more, scratched his head and started get both confused and angry. "Actually, you'll never succeed. One of the parts of the research here is the design of smart matter chair and table legs that imperceptibly adjust their length so that the chair or table is never stable. Really drives people mad…."

"I am seriously worried that this place is starting to make sense. Or at least that reality is being manipulated to keep certain professions busy." With that he wandered over to the Jukebox that was just finishing the song.

"it's got a very impressive collection," observed Zelda.

"But it is going to be a real problem to get out of here," commented LazyScot looking at the size of it.

"Oh, that's easy," said the BatAI, "select a different song, say Come on Eileen, by Dixie's Midnight Runners. That always gets people up and going."

"What?" said LazyScot, finding the song and selecting it.

"I'd step back a little…" warned the BatAI.

And with that, the JukeBox started playing the song. It then stood up, produced a microphone from nowhere, began a cross between karoke and guitar hero (a benefit of four arms) and started dancing on two exceptionally shapely legs, causing the floor to vibrate, as it jumped around the room and tried to encourage Zelda, Nekokami and LazyScot to join in.

"I think my eyes need checking," LazyScot found himself saying.

"Exactly," said the BatAI.

"I wonder how Taylor will react," asked a quizzical Nekokami looking critically at the dancing Jukebox.

"Hi. I'm a Genuine Party JukeBox. I'm told you have a party to take me to?" said the jukebox, in a definitely female voice. "I'll just follow you, if that's okay."

"Errr. Yes fine," replied LazyScot. "I don't suppose you would know where the Pet Department is?"

"Yes, sure, " replied the excited Jukebox, "follow me; it's next to the financial journalists' training department." And with that it danced off down the corridor to a medley of disco songs.

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12-21-2008, 03:48 PM	#406
UncleDuke books & doughnuts Posts: 882 Karma: 37857 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: usa Device: sony reader, kindle2	forgive me for asking, why would anyone ever want to escape this place, it was hard enough finding it in the first place!

12-22-2008, 05:55 AM	#407
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	"Quick, the liquidizers, " said Pandaborg-B as he and the rest of the Pandaborg grabbed the boxes, tore the open and turned on the liquidizers. "Llama Kung Fu" said Dorothy the llama and all the llamas, apart from the still drunk Arthur, promptly started the most amazing martial arts high-speed movements kicking flying Kumquats into the walls or trampling them into a pulp. "karma llarma chameleon" giggled Arthur, who attempted to kick four different kumquats, one with each of his legs, and totally failed to connect with any of them. The topologically impossible movement that resulted caused the kumquats to completely miss him, and he collapsed back onto the floor. Between the llama's feet and the actions of the liquidizer wielding Pandaborg, a small safe area was created around the door to the server room, amidst the blizzard of killer kumquats. "Definitely needs vodka." Slurred Arthur, (who had been poured into the VentureOne to wheel him out of the building) as he drank his way through the by-product of the liquidizers. Quickly LazyScot (who was still wheeling the VentureOne) and Nekokami dived into the server room. Inside sitting conveniently next to its carrier case (which looked like a dubious and cheap prop from Space 1999) were three brains, all of the right size. "Eeewwww, " said LazyScot squeamishly as he carefully scooped up the brain and placed it into the travelling container. "GeoffC had darn'd well better appreciate this, " said LazyScot as he placed the container into the VentureOne. "Ooohhh Cocktail ice?" slurred Arthur as he attempted to open the container. "NOO! " shouted LazyScot firmly, as he moved the container into the luggage compartment at the back of the VentureOne. Back outside the server room, the group, retraced its steps into the lab. "Vodka. Definitely wants vodka, " hiccupped Arthur at an inopportune moment. "Oh thanks." "1954 Belles of St Trinians." Shouted LazyScot. And with that the machinery went into overdrive and started churning out large numbers of hockey stick wielding fourth formers. Backing out of the lab, LazyScot added "The sixth formers have Arab Boy through there, but you'll have to get rid of all those kumquats." With that a raucous cheering arose and the fourth formers headed off in the other direction waving their hockey sticks to devastating affect eliminating very large numbers of kumquats, and taking at least half the kumquat blizzard with them. "Girls, Girls. Be careful. Oh be careful." Said a very worried Miss Fritton following after the forth formers. "i don't even want to know," said Zelda as the group slowly fought their way back to the door. "Hic. Haec. Hoc." Said an eruditely drunk Arthur through his Kumquat Vodka cocktails. "Just a minute, I wanted to look for something, " said LazyScot as the group backed up to the reception, and passed a computer. "A French Keyboard? Of all the impossible… Zelda, where is the 'a'?" And after about 30 seconds searching, continued "no that's okay -- found it." With that he typed in a few words, clicked on a few links and then downloaded something to his USB key. "Whilst you're at that computer, could you just run a program for me?" asked the BatAI. "The icon on the top right-hand corner; the one that looks like a pair of scissors cutting a network wire?" "Alright, but get the engine running," replied LazyScot as, under the dying embers of blizzard of kumquats, they made it back to the bat pickup and loaded on the VentureOne. "Has anyone seen Zelda?" asked Nekokami, nervously. "She's just---" said LazyScot, stopping abruptly and looking room. "She was here just a minute ago." And with that Pandaborg-B and the Pandaborg Soldier from the Knights of Literature and the Pandaborg Builder from the Mall disappeared back into the building wielding only their liquidizers, and almost immediately appear together with a slightly Kumquat splattered Zelda pushing a large trolley with a very large brown sack on it. The sack appeared to be snoring. "ask me no questions and i'll tell you no lies." Zelda responded to LazyScot's enquiring look. "Deal, " said LazyScot, as they loaded everything into the now overloaded BatPickUp. Reflecting on the last few minutes, LazyScot turned to the BatAI and asked, "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" as they drover rapidly way from the buildings. He was answered with silence. "Right. Where now? And think long and hard about where you take us…" There was a dull "whump" from the direction of the buildings, that quivered and collapsed in on themselves, and out of which came a horde of hockey stick wielding schoolgirls followed by a headmistress. "Well?" asked LazyScot, glaring at the BatAI. "It was doing work for The Knights of Literature. And I'm not convinced that they do no evil." "Okay. I'll let you off with that one, " said LazyScot as the continued rapidly down the road. "Where now?"

12-22-2008, 06:18 AM	#408
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	""Hic. Haec. Hoc." Said an eruditely drunk Arthur through his Kumquat Vodka cocktails." i had to choose a sentence almost at random to quote/lolpanda because i couldn't decide which part made me laugh the most. i don't know if i'll be able to stand the suspense until the next part. what's (or who's... ? ) in the brown sack ???? what are the brains for ???? will arthur ever sober up ??????

12-22-2008, 06:48 AM	#409
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	Scene: the BatPickUp is driving along a quiet road towards a complex surrounded by a large chain-link fence. Not to far away an open gate leading into the complex is clearly visible, with a large sign by the side of the gate. "And are you absolutely sure there are no killer kumquats, armed police, violent wolves or anything else that might constitute a danger to us." Questioned LazyScot in an aggressive tone. "Well, not absolutely, but this is comparatively benign. There should be no physical dangers." Replied the BatAI, somewhat nervously, eyeing the reprogramming toolkit LazyScot was casually toying with. "COMPARATIVELY?" shouted LazyScot. "Well, compared to a shopping mall." "Hmmm… So what is this place?" asked LazyScot as the Bat PickUp came to a stop by the entrance. "Look at the sign." "POOP?" said everyone, except for Zelda who said "poop?" and the BatAI who stayed smugly silent. "Yup. Promotions Operations: Opticians and Psychiatrists." Everybodies mouths open and closed in unison. Several times. "Okay. That is just wrong on so many levels, " responded LazyScot eventually. "Off the top of my head, what on earth would Psychiatrists and Opticians have in common. Then, why do they need to go around selling themselves. Next, why does that involve what looks suspiciously like some form of evil research establishment? And finally what the heck makes you think this will help us get hold of some music or rabbits." "I don't suppose I could just ask you to trust me, and go in, could I?" "I have just one word to say to that. Kumquat." "Okay," resignedly replied the BatAI. "Where to start? Hmm. Have you every wandered down a street and seen something that you think is impossible? A lot of people have. Their response is usually one of two things. Either they think their eyes need a check-up, or they think they are loosing their mind and need to talk about it. You see, when apparently impossible things happen psychiatrists and opticians benefit in increased trade. Now, most people think that there is more than enough work to keep the psychiatrists and opticians busy, but that is only because of the hard, secretive work of POOP. Essentially, its job is to keep people doubting their sanity and/or eyesight. Now that requires a lot of research and work to continually produce new ways of making people think that reality has just gone away on holiday. Hence this establishment. And, it just so happens that some of the things they use for to make people doubt reality are rabbits and music."

12-22-2008, 08:07 AM	#411
Patricia Reader Posts: 11,504 Karma: 8720163 Join Date: May 2007 Location: South Wales, UK Device: Sony PRS-500, PRS-505, Asus EEEpc 4G	Zelda's got Tom Waits in that sack, hasn't she?

12-22-2008, 07:38 PM	#418
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	Scene: LazyScot and the group, minus the llamas who are trying (vainly to sober Arthur up) are wandering down a corridor. LazyScot stops. "Remind me. Just how did the BatAI talk us into this?" asked LazyScot. "Unfortunately the script is somewhat vague on that point, " replied Pandaborg-B. "Thanks, " said LazyScot slightly sarcastically and very resignedly. "I guess we should look for the last items." The group approach a T-junction. "I'll go right, you and the rest of the Pandaborg can go left." And with that groups split up. "Any idea what we are looking for, " LazyScot optimistically asked the BatAI. "Sure; you're after the angora rabbits, so look for the Pet Department, and for the music, I suggest you look for the Pub and Diner Equipment Department. There are bound to be a signs on the door…." "Why does that clear, logical and sensible answer make me nervous?" "Because you are cynical?" "And why do we think that might be?" retorted LazyScot, who read the first of the signs on the doors. "Politicians Training Department? What on earth to Politicians have to do with POOP? Or vice-versa?" "Are you sure you want to know?" "oh yes please, " interrupted Zelda before LazyScot could comment. "Well, have you ever heard a politician's speech and thought that you must be loosing your grip on reality? Or seen something and then heard a politician talking about it and wondered if your actually saw the same thing? Or, have you listed to one of their speeches and started to really go mad? Politicians have been trained and educated, for quite some time, to assist POOP in its mission, and on a regular basis fulfil their role very satisfactorily," explained the BatAI. "So you're saying that politicians are a bunch of POOP puppets?" asked LazyScot. "I wouldn't use language quite like that, and I'm pretty certain that not all politicians are so employed, but I suppose you have captured the essence of it, " replied the BatAI. "Airline Pricing Depar…. NO! I don't want to know. Zelda don't even think about asking." Said LazyScot reading the door opposite. After a few more doors, they eventually found the Pub and Diner Equipment Department. "I definitely have a bad feeling about this," said LazyScot as they opened the door, to reveal a huge room, containing assorted tables, chairs and juke boxes.

12-22-2008, 07:47 PM	#420
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	As they entered the room, Zelda headed over to the juke box, "i wonder what its music selection is like?" she wondered. "wow. chocolate jesus!!!! a little early taster is called for i think." And with that jukebox developed the voice of drunken gravel, as LazyScot glared at Zelda who replied, "trust me, it's not a cat in the bag, so how could i let it out?" LazyScot leaned against one of the chairs as the song started, and the chair promptly started wobbling. "I suppose you're going to try and convince me that they wobbly chairs are also the by product of POOP?" "Well, some are. Try and put something under the short leg, " suggested the BatAI. LazyScot tried this, cursed, stood back, frowned and then put more under another leg, muttered again, tried a bit more, scratched his head and started get both confused and angry. "Actually, you'll never succeed. One of the parts of the research here is the design of smart matter chair and table legs that imperceptibly adjust their length so that the chair or table is never stable. Really drives people mad…." "I am seriously worried that this place is starting to make sense. Or at least that reality is being manipulated to keep certain professions busy." With that he wandered over to the Jukebox that was just finishing the song. "it's got a very impressive collection," observed Zelda. "But it is going to be a real problem to get out of here," commented LazyScot looking at the size of it. "Oh, that's easy," said the BatAI, "select a different song, say Come on Eileen, by Dixie's Midnight Runners. That always gets people up and going." "What?" said LazyScot, finding the song and selecting it. "I'd step back a little…" warned the BatAI. And with that, the JukeBox started playing the song. It then stood up, produced a microphone from nowhere, began a cross between karoke and guitar hero (a benefit of four arms) and started dancing on two exceptionally shapely legs, causing the floor to vibrate, as it jumped around the room and tried to encourage Zelda, Nekokami and LazyScot to join in. "I think my eyes need checking," LazyScot found himself saying. "Exactly," said the BatAI. "I wonder how Taylor will react," asked a quizzical Nekokami looking critically at the dancing Jukebox. "Hi. I'm a Genuine Party JukeBox. I'm told you have a party to take me to?" said the jukebox, in a definitely female voice. "I'll just follow you, if that's okay." "Errr. Yes fine," replied LazyScot. "I don't suppose you would know where the Pet Department is?" "Yes, sure, " replied the excited Jukebox, "follow me; it's next to the financial journalists' training department." And with that it danced off down the corridor to a medley of disco songs.

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