Unutterably Silly So what are you NOT doing RIGHT NOW?

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by ravenne

I´ve never heard of Zany Carter, so couldn´t happen to me.

Woohoo! Another Zany Carter virgin!

Or is it an ingredient you also find in Glögg? I´ve got a bad headache today though...

A Zany Carter is not something you find in something; it's something you find in someone. It is a "beverage", though even the smallest "nose" of it is as comparable to a light shandy as a firehose-fed, LSD-and-capsaicin enema is to a couple of kiddy-aspirin.

It is gradually being developed by Montsmags Enterprises into a few new varieties (such as the Zany Carter Glögg still under development - the Glögg will perhaps soften the effects, for beginners), but it started with the Zany Carter Deluxe, especially developed as the drink-of-honour of my Parties (your next question will likely be about the "Parties"...that question is a doozy, and others may prefer to elaborate). There is currently only one other variety available, created in honor of the most noble and most beautiful Patricia, and is, naturally, called the Zany Carter Patricia (and, of course, it contains light-sucking levels of chocolate - quite popular it is too).

It's probably fair to say that, aside from Adrian, pshrynk is the most experienced and conditioned imbiber of the Zany Carter. The hangunder condition he describes should be taken as the words of half-remembered, hard-drinkin' experience. If I didn't already know him to be as nutty as a bull's ball-sack, I'd be somewhat suspicious of his mental stability. (I'm missing you already, pshrynk ~sniff~). I wouldn't encourage such behaviour by any normal human, though fortunately there are so few of them around.

Some might say the correct response to my offer, "Can I get you a drink?" is "RUN! RUN LIKE YOUR SANITY DEPENDED ON IT!". Those people are quitters. You should ignore them.

Can I get you drink?

Cheers,
The Barman

[Greg Anos]

Just remember what Mr Humphries told Mrs. Slocum about Vodka Martinis. Only Zany Carters work twice as fast....

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Right now I'm not washing up, even though it needs to be done, nor am I having a nap, despite the yeti having one and really wanting to join him. I'm also not hammering or sewing stuff, as the loud noises would be unfair on the yeti. So really, I'm not doing much at all right now

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Can I get you drink?

Zany Carter Patricia please

[desertgrandma]

Is this what a "Zany Carter Hangover" looks like?

[zelda_pinwheel]

hey slite ! your dog got into the zany carters again !!

[desertgrandma]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

hey slite ! your dog got into the zany carters again !!

Aw jeez, I thought that was a CAT!

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Aw jeez, I thought that was a CAT!

well i'm not saying no cat has ever gotten into the zany carters / had its picture taken in a completely undignified position... but i'm pretty sure that's a dog. in fact i'm pretty sure it's slite's dog.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

[ravenne]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

...

Some might say the correct response to my offer, "Can I get you a drink?" is "RUN! RUN LIKE YOUR SANITY DEPENDED ON IT!". Those people are quitters. You should ignore them.

Can I get you drink?

Cheers,
The Barman

Okay, I´m not quite sure whether I got it all right. So I can imagine Zany Carter like the whole Wiesn* in one shot, right? So the feeling after a single sip would be that of washing down a rawish grilled chicken with let´s say 3 Maß** of beer, feeling the blisters on your feet from dancing for hours on the ale-bench (due to the notorius anti-dancing-on-tables-law they passed some years ago), chanting Joanna You &%%censored&%% b%%%%*** for the 23rd time on that very same evening, being accidently showered with the content of a whole Maßkrug****, your shoes flooded, your Dirndl***** soaking wet, well, beer inside, beer outside, who cares, trying to avoid three violent brawls while searching for the bearish waitress to bring up the next round and having some Schmoizler****** with your handlebar-moustached ale-bench neighbour.....

No problem. I´m sure I can handle that.
So just dish this Zany Carter now.

Footnotes:
*Wiesn = Oktoberfest (only tourists say Oktoberfest)
**Maß = 1 ltr. of beer
***famous Wiesn song in 2008
****Maßkrug = mug for a Maß, I assume Z.C. is also served in Maßkrügen?
*****Dirndl = What women wear on the Wiesn
******Schmoizler = Bavarian smokeless tabacco

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by ravenne

Okay, I´m not quite sure whether I got it all right. So I can imagine Zany Carter like the whole Wiesn* in one shot, right? So the feeling after a single sip would be that of washing down a rawish grilled chicken with let´s say 3 Maß** of beer, feeling the blisters on your feet from dancing for hours on the ale-bench (due to the notorius anti-dancing-on-tables-law they passed some years ago), chanting Joanna You &%%censored&%% b%%%%*** for the 23rd time on that very same evening, being accidently showered with the content of a whole Maßkrug****, your shoes flooded, your Dirndl***** soaking wet, well, beer inside, beer outside, who cares, trying to avoid three violent brawls while searching for the bearish waitress to bring up the next round and having some Schmoizler****** with your handlebar-moustached ale-bench neighbour.....

No problem. I´m sure I can handle that.
So just dish this Zany Carter now.

Footnotes:
*Wiesn = Oktoberfest (only tourists say Oktoberfest)
**Maß = 1 ltr. of beer
***famous Wiesn song in 2008
****Maßkrug = mug for a Maß, I assume Z.C. is also served in Maßkrügen?
*****Dirndl = What women wear on the Wiesn
******Schmoizler = Bavarian smokeless tabacco

i think marc may finally have found a drinking partner who can keep up with him !!!

of course, you left off the hallucinatory effects and the time-travel (another side-effect)...

but i'm sure you can take it !

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by ravenne

Okay, I´m not quite sure whether I got it all right. So I can imagine Zany Carter like the whole Wiesn* in one shot, right? So the feeling after a single sip would be that of washing down a rawish grilled chicken with let´s say 3 Maß** of beer, feeling the blisters on your feet from dancing for hours on the ale-bench (due to the notorius anti-dancing-on-tables-law they passed some years ago), chanting Joanna You &%%censored&%% b%%%%*** for the 23rd time on that very same evening, being accidently showered with the content of a whole Maßkrug****, your shoes flooded, your Dirndl***** soaking wet, well, beer inside, beer outside, who cares, trying to avoid three violent brawls while searching for the bearish waitress to bring up the next round and having some Schmoizler****** with your handlebar-moustached ale-bench neighbour.....

No problem. I´m sure I can handle that.
So just dish this Zany Carter now.

Memo to self: do not get involved in drinking game with Ravenne.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Is this what a "Zany Carter Hangover" looks like?

Yes, but the grass is generally a little bit more turquoise.

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Aw jeez, I thought that was a CAT!

Have you been drinking?

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i think marc may finally have found a drinking partner who can keep up with him !!!

of course, you left off the hallucinatory effects and the time-travel (another side-effect)...

but i'm sure you can take it !

I woke up on the eleventy-fiftieth of the month of Jarch to a beautiful, clear zorange sky. The thick turquoise grass cushioned the seventh-to-twelfth of my eighteen buttocks like a row of botanical egg-cups. To my left, pshrynk snored Tchai-tea-v-sky's 3141 Overture loudly, lavender bubbles shaped into llamas bursting lightly from his nostrils and drifting into my left ear to burst like canonfire at appropriate moments. He was still cuddled up against that feminine-shaped piece of driftwood we found up in the dunes, cooing lovesongs to it in his sleep (Got wood? He sure did). To my right was Adrian, investigating to depths of one of his ears with a painted nail and looking intently down at me. "OO!", he said, in a manner that seemed to suggest "I am not going to wait around here all afterbrunch when there are perfectly good windows rollicking in the waves that I can interfenestrate" and it seemed like a perfectly reasonable comment so I sat up and realised my view hadn't changed so I reattached my head with the staple gun Adrian was holding out for me. "OO-OOOO!" he said, pointing to the strawberry waves running up the sugar-beach. He was right - those windows playing in the surf weren't going to be so open to interfenestration for long. I stood up, and seven squirrels fell from my sequinned kilt, looked up at me, said, "Giggle", and ran for the waves.

Who was I to argue? My buttocks detached from the grass with popping sounds like Popcorn (the musical number, not the food), and I followed, gallampering calluminatively towards the shore break, googlies teased by the kumquat zest on the sea breeze like an ice wind across a plate of meat-and-potatoes.

'Twas going to be a fine day. I'd wake pshrynk up in a few minutes, and we'd try figure out when we were and how many drinks we'd need to consume to pass through the other side of the hungunder into last week so we could catch up with yesterday and find out which gutter to pour ourselves into in front of a streetsweeper that could re-outside-in our cerebellums with its whirling dervish brushes (that reminds me, I must call that whirling dervish back - I think I wrote his number down on buttock number thrwo).

In the meantime, some windows needed some lovin'. Adrian, me and the squirrels dived into the waves...

Cheers,
The Barman

[ravenne]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i think marc may finally have found a drinking partner who can keep up with him !!!

of course, you left off the hallucinatory effects and the time-travel (another side-effect)...

but i'm sure you can take it !

O, I wasn´t saying there weren´t hallucinations. After a certain amount of Maß usually some trumpet-blowing Wolpertingers show up (note: a Wolpertinger is not a squirrel, but may be distantly related, for more information on Wolpertingers see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolpertinger), noshing brezels with cotton candy and radish and offering cigars. At that time you should definitely leave and head for the Wine tent, because another Maß would make the Wolpertingers yodel - and yodelling Wolpertingers, well, would give you a hard time.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by ravenne

O, I wasn´t saying there weren´t hallucinations. After a certain amount of Maß usually some trumpet-blowing Wolpertingers show up (note: a Wolpertinger is not a squirrel, but may be distantly related, for more information on Wolpertingers see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolpertinger), noshing brezels with cotton candy and radish and offering cigars. At that time you should definitely leave and head for the Wine tent, because another Maß would make the Wolpertingers yodel - and yodelling Wolpertingers, well, would give you a hard time.

thus the old sayings, "it ain't over till the wolpertinger yodels (but when that happens you better head for the hills)" and "it's all fun and games until the wolpertingel starts yodeling."