Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Attachment 134658

Was that Dwayne Johnson in 'Race to Witch Mountain'?

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Was that Dwayne Johnson in 'Race to Witch Mountain'?

I don't watch enough movies to know.

[Fbone]

The quickest way to make a tossed salad is to give fresh vegetables to an 18-month-old child.

[PoP]

"i" before "e" except after "c".

[Bilbo1967]

Originally Posted by PoP

"i" before "e" except after "c".

I before E
Except after C,
Unless pronounced A
As in 'neighbor' or 'weigh'"

Education is forfeit for reinforcing such rules!
Sound a feisty reveille while eyeing the schools!
Neither will our heirs be agreeing to deceptions
Once seeing, herein, these sufficient exceptions:

We were seized by a feeling
For fleeing on the ceiling
To a leisurely meal
With Keith, Sheila, and Neil

We drank madeira, so foreign, in steins
Along with a surfeit of weird blueish wines
Being foolish, took codeine, ate ancient proteins
Therein guaranteeing these ogreish scenes

Wherein we're canoeing to a new sovereign state
While deicing a kaleidoscope on a hot jadeite plate
And kneeing obeisance to an overseeing king
Our plebeian lips kissed his counterfeit ring.

Then we unveiled their sleight-of-hand trick
Deifying a heifer, with effect atheistic
And falling from the heights with a loud seismic crunch
We reignited the nonpareils we had heisted for lunch

Something I found on-line. Contains about 50 exceptions to the i before e rule.

[HomeInMyShoes]

^The reason the English 'language' should be abolished.

[pilotbob]

Originally Posted by HomeInMyShoes

^The reason the English 'language' should be abolished.

Jes , ni sould ĉiuj ŝaltilon al Esperanto.

[HomeInMyShoes]

Me gustaría ir con españoles .

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by HomeInMyShoes

^The reason the English 'language' should be abolished.

Have no fear. Between TV sponsors and sportscasters abandoning the use of prepositions and texting teens reducing everything to numbers and phonetics, it soon will be.

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Have no fear. Between TV sponsors and sportscasters abandoning the use of prepositions and texting teens reducing everything to numbers and phonetics, it soon will be.

In the Canadian version of French, prepositions have been replaced a few years back by the word 'determinant'....!?!

If the order of grammar and that of orthograph disappears what will it be of social order?

Is that what the trend of zombyism really signals?

[Fbone]

An oldie by still amusing:

Spell Checker

I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

I've scent this massage threw it,
And I'm shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.

[Bilbo1967]

Originally Posted by Fbone

An oldie by still amusing:

Spell Checker

I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.

I've seen this before. In the verse above, is "dew" really a homophone of "do"? It's the only thing in a clever poem that doesn't feel right to me as a UK English speaker.

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

I've seen this before. In the verse above, is "dew" really a homophone of "do"? It's the only thing in a clever poem that doesn't feel right to me as a UK English speaker.

In Virginia it is indeed a homophobe homophone. Just like oil and all. Just 'cause "all" as in "C'mon, y'all" and oil as in "The truck needs some oil" sound the same doesn't mean they're spelled the same or share the same meaning.

[WT Sharpe]

This guy explains it better than I can.

[wodin]

I ran it through MS Word 2007 and it picked up about half of those as grammatical errors, oh, and one punctuation error; it thought there should be a semicolon after "checker" instead of a comma.