The Vent and Rant Thread

[eschwartz]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

I find it interesting that the Chinese added the same warning 5,000 years ago when setting up their Feng Shui guidelines... There must ALWAYS be a cover over the bowl when not in use or it's baaad mojo.. We've followed basic Feng Shui rules for most of our daily life planning, and despite the first impulse knee-jerk thinking of 'why would we do this or that silly thing,' it generally turns out to have some interesting scientific foundations.

But, but, but... the Dragon of Unhappiness is very real!!!

(Only once the good Mr. Dibbler passed on the advice to keep the lid down, upon which said dragon manifested due to narrative causality... but still. )

[eschwartz]

Originally Posted by wodin

The ultimate warning label:

Spoiler:

Caution, living is hazardous to your health.

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Hey! It's no joke! Everyone who tries it, winds up dead! Every single one!


Stitchawl

Life is the ultimate death trap. No one gets out of life alive.

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by issybird

Oh, yes. That's why the seat-down v. seat-up controversy is nonsensical. Everyone should put the lid down before flushing. Because, yuck! Especially if your toothbrush lives in that room.

That said, the toilet is only the second germiest place in the house. The kitchen sink is first. Anything that hits the sink needs to be washed before use, both utensils and food. And never ever leave a sponge in the sink!

When I was getting ready to leave this morning, Arwen cat was my valet. Or something. She needed to closely inspect the swirling process of the toilet. So the toilet lid was left open while she took notes and I brushed my teeth. This led to me doing something I know for sure I've never done before; drunk, sober, hung over like 9 mudder fuggers, terrified due to the scope of a NATO
wide alert, kid missing the bus, dog fight in the hall, horses procreating in the driveway (when you have 3000 pounds of procreating mammal in your driveway, you may go get another cup of coffee, cause you ain't gonna win pardner! Oh! And a bear that was sharing my bush for morning ablutions. And of course neglected to inform me that the bush was taken, thank you very much. Anyway, during all of these scenarios, my tooth brush ended up in odd positions and places. I ALWAYS WENT BACK FOR IT! Never did I leave a fallen toothbrush to suffer alone. It was always recovered and dealt with like you would want to deal with something you had been so personal with.

Today, today was different. I was up at 2:30 to leave at 4:30. Completely unacceptable. I had packed the night before, and I rarely need more than 30/45 minutes to roll.
was it Arwen competing for counter space? Who knows? I smacked that special spot on your wrist that makes a fairly significant jerk/twinge. Alas, tooth brush ended in the toilet. No special service, no buying the new one to have the older one pass on words of wisdom. No sirree that brush was on the first trash heap outta town.

All Hale! Former brush has been disgraced, all heed the new brush!

Ok, so I've been up for close to 22 hours. Out of practice.

Originally Posted by speakingtohe

Interesting. I never wash my chicken having seen much the same warning 20 years ago. Since then I always wash my hands thoroughly after touching raw chicken skin as apparently this thing is as bad as poison mushrooms and hand to mouth contact after touching chicken skin is the leading cause. Still most people don't and still survive

A lot more common than botulism which gets wider publicity.

Another thing sort of related is that they are linking the high rise of food allergies and gluten intolerance to antibacterial sprays and soaps as well as antibiotics. Apparently they kill of the good bacteria which enables us to safely ingest and digest certain foods.

Helen

When I was running troop and special event Girl Scout camping trips. I always confiscated that damn stuff and left them a bar of ivory or dial

[kindlekitten]

I've got mud brain. .. just remembered refrigerated eggs. I have a friend who will periodically sell me her extra fresh eggs. Quite often they will be left at my office, and I'll leave her money there as it just works. This one time at band camp. .... oh yeah, right. At my last brokerage there was a "Jersey Girl". I'd never run into one, so didn't know how to deal..... I got 6 dozen eggs one time, her chickens were producing well, and I think I had more or less over committed myself for picnics and such so that many eggs worked for me. My friend delivered the eggs probably about 0830. I had appointments out of the office and didn't get in until about 3. When I came in, she stomped into my office demanding to know why I was putting the office at jwapordy by exposing them to raw eggs.

What do you say? Seriously? I think if I had told her I had a bunch of 4 to 6 week eggs on my counter she would have called in FEMA

[kindlekitten]

Yep! Guess whose away from home and kitty snuggles?

[pdurrant]

Originally Posted by speakingtohe

None of the things I listed requires any skill [...] Unless you count [...] pealing veg.

If you can make music using bells made from vegetables, I think you have an act worth hearing!

Hmmm.... perhaps some liquid nitrogen would do the trick.

[speakingtohe]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

I've got mud brain. .. just remembered refrigerated eggs. I have a friend who will periodically sell me her extra fresh eggs. Quite often they will be left at my office, and I'll leave her money there as it just works. This one time at band camp. .... oh yeah, right. At my last brokerage there was a "Jersey Girl". I'd never run into one, so didn't know how to deal..... I got 6 dozen eggs one time, her chickens were producing well, and I think I had more or less over committed myself for picnics and such so that many eggs worked for me. My friend delivered the eggs probably about 0830. I had appointments out of the office and didn't get in until about 3. When I came in, she stomped into my office demanding to know why I was putting the office at jwapordy by exposing them to raw eggs.

What do you say? Seriously? I think if I had told her I had a bunch of 4 to 6 week eggs on my counter she would have called in FEMA

You should have told her to avoid grocery stores as they have raw eggs there too. Silliest thing I have heard today I think.

Helen

[poohbear_nc]

Originally Posted by issybird

Oh, yes. That's why the seat-down v. seat-up controversy is nonsensical. Everyone should put the lid down before flushing. Because, yuck! Especially if your toothbrush lives in that room.

That said, the toilet is only the second germiest place in the house. The kitchen sink is first. Anything that hits the sink needs to be washed before use, both utensils and food. And never ever leave a sponge in the sink!

Years ago, I lived in a tiny efficiency apt. with the world's smallest bathroom: shower stall, toilet, sink, tiny window -- all in a row on the wall. I always kept the toilet seat down b/c Buster cat loved to run in at top speed and jump from floor to toilet seat to sink to window ledge! TA DA!

One morning I was standing at the sink brushing my teeth and heard a loud splash .... looking down I saw the world's angriest, wettest cat hauling himself out of the toilet bowl. Knowing that I dare not laugh in front of him (It would be a death sentence!), I ran into the other room with my hand clamped over my mouth, drooling toothpaste out of my nose. Buster cat obviously saw through my petty attempt at subterfuge, and promptly jumped into the middle of the bed and dried himself on my sheets. Then he peed on them.

We never spoke of this incident again ....

[Freeshadow]

Originally Posted by issybird

Oh, yes. That's why the seat-down v. seat-up controversy is nonsensical. Everyone should put the lid down before flushing. Because, yuck! Especially if your toothbrush lives in that room.

That said, the toilet is only the second germiest place in the house.

Or just: http://xkcd.com/1469/

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Years ago, I lived in a tiny efficiency apt. with the world's smallest bathroom: shower stall, toilet, sink, tiny window -- all in a row on the wall. I always kept the toilet seat down b/c Buster cat loved to run in at top speed and jump from floor to toilet seat to sink to window ledge! TA DA!

One morning I was standing at the sink brushing my teeth and heard a loud splash .... looking down I saw the world's angriest, wettest cat hauling himself out of the toilet bowl. Knowing that I dare not laugh in front of him (It would be a death sentence!), I ran into the other room with my hand clamped over my mouth, drooling toothpaste out of my nose. Buster cat obviously saw through my petty attempt at subterfuge, and promptly jumped into the middle of the bed and dried himself on my sheets. Then he peed on them.

We never spoke of this incident again ....

Oh, that's funny! Cats do have a way of expressing their emotions!

[Dylrob]

So much for a pleasant trip up to see family. The train I'm riding on just had an "incident" with a trespasser on the tracks. *is going to be sick*

[speakingtohe]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Years ago, I lived in a tiny efficiency apt. with the world's smallest bathroom: shower stall, toilet, sink, tiny window -- all in a row on the wall. I always kept the toilet seat down b/c Buster cat loved to run in at top speed and jump from floor to toilet seat to sink to window ledge! TA DA!

One morning I was standing at the sink brushing my teeth and heard a loud splash .... looking down I saw the world's angriest, wettest cat hauling himself out of the toilet bowl. Knowing that I dare not laugh in front of him (It would be a death sentence!), I ran into the other room with my hand clamped over my mouth, drooling toothpaste out of my nose. Buster cat obviously saw through my petty attempt at subterfuge, and promptly jumped into the middle of the bed and dried himself on my sheets. Then he peed on them.

We never spoke of this incident again ....

Bet you still love that cat to this day whether it is still with you or not.

Assertive animals can be a pain, but overall they are the most fun to live with.

Helen

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Years ago, I lived in a tiny efficiency apt. with the world's smallest bathroom: shower stall, toilet, sink, tiny window -- all in a row on the wall. I always kept the toilet seat down b/c Buster cat loved to run in at top speed and jump from floor to toilet seat to sink to window ledge! TA DA!

One morning I was standing at the sink brushing my teeth and heard a loud splash .... looking down I saw the world's angriest, wettest cat hauling himself out of the toilet bowl. Knowing that I dare not laugh in front of him (It would be a death sentence!), I ran into the other room with my hand clamped over my mouth, drooling toothpaste out of my nose. Buster cat obviously saw through my petty attempt at subterfuge, and promptly jumped into the middle of the bed and dried himself on my sheets. Then he peed on them.

We never spoke of this incident again ....

When we adopted Clancy, our first Maine Coon, he was 5 years old, and a very quiet, gentlemanly cat. When I "met" him at his foster-home, he was pretty traumatized and not at all friendly--it was a big, huge, noisy house, with several children, at least one of whom was special needs. Clancy didn't seem very happy, but...nonetheless, I took him. He screamed--and I mean, SCREAMED, not merely meowed, all the way home, 60+ miles. (Yes, folks, believe it or not, it's more than 60 miles from one end of the metro sprawl that is Phoenix to the other...)

Anyway...despite thinking that it might take him DAYS or even WEEKS to emerge from the "safe zone" that was his bathroom, replete with chow, water, box, etc., he came out and was on the sofa with us within hours, and was a completely new cat. In a house without screaming children and many other very dominant cats, he was a happy, happy fellow.

Now, Clancy came from a fairly well-known line of MC's, that have very (very) long, fringy tails. He was a tabby, much like Mr. Zep, with lovely white markings and stunning jade eyes.

Anyway...a few days after he arrived, I heard a noise that I couldn't place. I wandered around the house, and kept listening...sounded like muttering. I kept looking, and the closer I got, the more it sounded like HUMMING. I was really confused by this, as neither Mr. Hitch nor I are hummers or singers. When I finally got to the guest/hall bath, what to my wondering eyes should appear?

But a big fuzzy ass, with a giantly long plum-y tail, stuck up in the air, with the front half of the cat entirely buried in the toilet. Emerging from said bowl was, yes, HUMMING of a kind. Clancy hummed. Not only that, he washed his paws. Every time he ate, he washed his paws. Every time he used the box, he washed his paws. And when he did--he hummed, a sort of off-key, half-purr, half-mutter, rumbly, well...HUM.

Mr. Clancy isn't with us any longer, (stomach cancer 2 years after we got him), but even though Mr. Zep is also a water-hound, we miss his humming. And the ubiquitous MESS that was the toilet, every time he ate, dumped, peed...but he would not be denied his washing. If you closed the toilet top, a little while later you'd hear a big BANG, and sure enough, he'd be scrunched under the lid, ass sticking out, front end in the bowl, with a less-harmonious HUMMMMM emerging.

(FWIW: his cousin, who is owned by Mr. Hitch's cousin--completely coincidentally, mind you--has the same paw-washing trait, although he doesn't sing/hum.)

I've attached a not-very-good photo of our humming bather. He would not have taken out a dipping on your bedspread, Pooh!

Hitch

[Hitch]

Honest to crap, gang...

In my entire adult life, all {mumble} decades of it, I never thought I'd live to hear those two words in a sentence together..."emergency books." I mean, sure, books ABOUT an emergency. I can see that. But "emergency books?"

In what reality is that? Today--at 10-ish--someone called me about a PDF that needed to be made into an ebook, in MOBI format, nearly 500 pages, almost as many images--by 11:59 p.m. TODAY. Her "boss" gave her this PDF on Wednesday...and expected a perfect MOBI by today. And trust me, while it's not the MOST complex book I've ever seen, it's not a fiction title, either. AND...it's in PDF. Poor thing tried everything, from Calibre to those auto-magic "make your PDF into Word!" sites...you name it. I actually felt pangs for her.

Another? Abandoned by a firm (not to be named) that has recently gone out of business. S/he has an "emergency" book, too, with a HARD release date. On what planet does anyone have a HARD release date for a book that isn't completed? Really??????? her book was about 70% completed. They said that they'll finish it...but it will be WEEKS. Maybe.

I swear, I'm going to put a big sign up on my site that says, "EMERGENCY books are the result of CRAP planning. Do NOT schedule release dates BEFORE you have the damned book!!!"

Sheesh. That's the THIRD, THIRD, THIRD "emergency" book this week. THIRD.

...and yes, I know I am

(And, yes: compared to what's going on in France, this is not a big problem.)

Hitch

[pidgeon92]

That's very interesting about the eggs. My dad often brings me 3-6 dozen when he comes back from Wisconsin (fresh from a local farmer). I have always refrigerated them, and it often takes me a few months to get through them. They've never spoiled.

I generally keep a stick of butter on the counter at all times. That doesn't seem to spoil either, and it takes me a week or so to go through the 1/2 cup stick. If it gets very warm in the house, I will put it back in the fridge, or it gets that greasy look to it.