The Vent and Rant Thread

[WT Sharpe]

Iit's getting to the point where I'm almost enjoying getting these spam phone calls. This, not five minutes ago:

"Hello."
"Hello, is Mr. Sharpe at home?"
"WHY?"
"Well, I'm an insurance agent and..."
"WRONG NUMBER." (Click.)

[badgoodDeb]

Oooo -- I never thought of answering with "WHY?" That ought to skip the "how are you" phase, or at least indicate "SPAM" if they can't skip it!

[WT Sharpe]

It helps to have some anger in your "WHY".

These sales calls always appear on my home phone, which is why I've been known to say to a sales clerk's face that I don't have a cell phone in response to a request for a mobile phone number despite the fact that I'm holding it in plain sight in my hand even as I deny having one.

[covingtoncat73]

Oh, I hate those spam calls.

I have a broken dishwasher at home that may have messed up my floor. At work, there is some kind of broken pipe flooding things and maintenance doesn't seem to be in any hurry to fix it and there is a crazy person spamming the chat reference. Ugh. I want a drink.

[wodin]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Oooo -- I never thought of answering with "WHY?" That ought to skip the "how are you" phase, or at least indicate "SPAM" if they can't skip it!

When they ask for my wife, I say "Whom may I say is calling?" and if it's a spam I tell them "She would rather not speak to you! <click>"

[poohbear_nc]

One of my co-workers hates spam calls so much that if he answers and is asked for 'the lady of the house' he'll start shouting "She died today! What's wrong with you people! etc." They usually never call back ....

[meeera]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Oooo -- I never thought of answering with "WHY?"

My current question is a somewhat irritated and belligerent "Do I know you?"

[ProfCrash]

You have to tell them to remove you from their list to decrease the likelihood that they don't call you back.

[Stitchawl]

If you're going to do it, do it right...





Stitchawl

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by meeera

My current question is a somewhat irritated and belligerent "Do I know you?"

I won't tell you what I do when proselytizers come to the door, but trust me when I say it involves props. ;-)

Hitch

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by Hitch

I won't tell you what I do when proselytizers come to the door, but trust me when I say it involves props. ;-)

SF/Fantasy writer Tim Powers tells a story about being visited by the Jehovah's Witnesses. (Tim is Roman Catholic.) In the process of the discussion, he got the magnifying glass he uses to read, and managed to set fire to the Witnesses copy of the bible.

Exeunt Witnesses, hurriedly...
______
Dennis

[kindlekitten]

That would have been priceless to see!

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

That would have been priceless to see!

Some old friends lived in Brooklyn, NYC, in an area that had a fair number of Witnesses living in it. (Witness HQ is in Brooklyn.) Their daughter recounted the Witnesses knocking on their door early on a Saturday morning when she was the only one up.

She greeted them at the door in her robe, carrying the family's large black cat.

"We are Jehovah's Witnesses, and we would like to talk to you about..."

"Oh! I'm sorry! You have the wrong house! We're all Satanists here. Right, Lucifer?"

"<mrowww>"

Exeunt Witnesses, hurriedly.

Many years ago, I found myself working in an office with a Jehovah's Witness. I rapidly learned he was more interested in proselytizing for his religion than doing the work we were paid for.

I'm a science fiction fan, and SF fandom has a tradition of hoax religions. One is the True Faith of the Sacred Cat, founded by an old friend. The True Faith has two basic tenets. The first is that the Lord Mota resides on Mars in the form of a sacred green cat. The second is that if you believe that. you'll believe anything. Instead of a dogma, the True Faith had a catma. Instead of a hierarchy, there was a lowerarchy, including a Privy Council that met in a privy to advise the founder on matters of the Faith. The sacraments of the True Faith were beer and potato chips.

Since my office mate would obviously not accept anything I said about religion as valid, I gave him the True Faith with a straight face as my religion. Possessing no sense of humor about the topic (and being none too bright), he thought I was serious, decided I was a total loon, and stopped going on at me about religion.

Win-Win!

The founder of the True Faith was deeply amused when I told him I found a real-world use for it.
______
Dennis

[kindlekitten]

Love it!!!!!!

[CRussel]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

Love it!!!!!!

Indeed, as do I. Though I'm afraid I'd have been a lot more rude about anyone wasting my and the company's time trying to convert me to any religion. That's harassment, pure and simple, and I would have responded accordingly. I don't give a rat's pattoutti what you do on your own time, but leave it at the door. (And as for those who come to my door, I have a very short way with them. Which escalates to calling 911 because of a trespasser if they don't leave instantly, or come back after being told not to do so.)

Fortunately, it's not something I any longer have to worry about.