Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 518

Fbone · 06-01-2014, 07:08 PM

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

yvanleterrible · 06-01-2014, 08:27 PM

There's a potato oven and there's a Beethoven.

I can't believe I wrote that one...

PieMan597 · 06-01-2014, 08:42 PM

Make sure to wipe your oven down with a maple leaf rag!

PoP · 06-02-2014, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

... a Beethoven...

Served in a Glass with Mozart Ella FitzGerald.

WT Sharpe · 06-02-2014, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I have a fear of speed bumps....

Me, too!

(Private joke.)

PieMan597 · 06-02-2014, 01:58 PM

What did one wall say to the other?

Spoiler:

Fbone · 06-02-2014, 05:21 PM

"I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; It was riveting."

steven522 · 06-03-2014, 09:00 AM

Every time I go out for a walk there is this lady at the end of the block who is constantly showing me pictures of her dog. Every morning, afternoon or evening, it doesn't matter, she's always there: "Look at this picture. Here is a different one. Here is one of just his face..."

I finally had to say, "Give it up, lady, you are never going to find your dog!"

orlok · 06-03-2014, 10:19 AM

My wife and I have decided that we want to have two children.

Now we need to chose which one to get rid of.

MJK2111 · 06-03-2014, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

"I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; It was riveting."

After reading this, I laughed so much I almost keeled over...

pilotbob · 06-03-2014, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJK2111

After reading this, I laughed so much I almost keeled over...

I bet you think your king of the world for that pun.

Fbone · 06-03-2014, 02:11 PM

According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we’ll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change.

badgoodDeb · 06-04-2014, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoP

Haydn know we were getting late.

Bach in a minuet ---
Offenbach sooner.

(on my neighbor's doormat)

Fbone · 06-04-2014, 07:36 PM

A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.”

“Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested.

The next week, John is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine!”

“What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend.

“I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.”

Glorfindel · 06-04-2014, 09:19 PM

06-02-2014, 01:58 PM	#7761
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	What did one wall say to the other? Spoiler: Meet you at the corner!

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06-01-2014, 07:08 PM	#7756
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

06-01-2014, 08:27 PM	#7757
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	There's a potato oven and there's a Beethoven. I can't believe I wrote that one...

06-01-2014, 08:42 PM	#7758
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	Make sure to wipe your oven down with a maple leaf rag!

06-02-2014, 05:21 PM	#7762
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	"I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; It was riveting."

06-03-2014, 09:00 AM	#7763
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	Every time I go out for a walk there is this lady at the end of the block who is constantly showing me pictures of her dog. Every morning, afternoon or evening, it doesn't matter, she's always there: "Look at this picture. Here is a different one. Here is one of just his face..." I finally had to say, "Give it up, lady, you are never going to find your dog!"

06-03-2014, 10:19 AM	#7764
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	My wife and I have decided that we want to have two children. Now we need to chose which one to get rid of.

06-03-2014, 02:11 PM	#7767
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we’ll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change.

06-04-2014, 07:36 PM	#7769
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.” “Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested. The next week, John is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine!” “What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend. “I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.”

06-04-2014, 09:19 PM	#7770
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,762 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO