The Vent and Rant Thread

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

After reading the wikis, I see that another name is Cracker Night. That reminds me of another British puzzler. Can you explain?

Last Christmas, one of the docs I work for gave me a box of "crackers" that he brought back from England. It had the legend on the back of the box that it was supposed to simulate the crackling of wood on a fire, but the crackle wasn't very loud and the charms were toy soldiers and things that looked British-ish, but we just didn't get it.

The legend also said it is a beloved holiday tradition. Really?

holiday crackers, yes ! brilliant !! with goofy jokes inside them and hats. we don't have crackers here (you have no idea how i wish we did) but we do have chocolates wrapped in shiny, colorful foil with fringy ends, with a little slip of paper with a (bad) joke on it inside the wrapper. now we just need to find a way to make silly hats fit in them, too...

[DixieGal]

Thanks Ladies!

[BookishDreamer]

Originally Posted by Patricia

Yes, we have a box of crackers every Christmas, and the family pull them, extract the gift, and read out the appalling jokes that the crackers contain.

Crackers have become part of my office's holiday party. I buy them every year. Yeah, the jokes are pretty bad, but we have fun with the paper crowns and toys. It's especially funny when someone forgets they're wearing the crown and wanders into another part of the building.

Dreamer

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by BookishDreamer

Crackers have become part of my office's holiday party. I buy them every year. Yeah, the jokes are pretty bad, but we have fun with the paper crowns and toys. It's especially funny when someone forgets they're wearing the crown and wanders into another part of the building.

Dreamer

hehehe.

[DixieGal]

Now I'm sorry that I didn't know all about it. Tim and I shook the little toys out of the ends of the tubes, looked at each other and shrugged in confusion, and tossed the paper. Didn't know there were jokes or crowns or anything else in there.

[Patricia]

Two people take a cracker, one at each end, and pull. A small bang ensues. The person with the longer portion of the cracker gets to keep the toy. They also read out the joke. Everyone groans. Then they put the hat on.

[zelda_pinwheel]

patricia, i would like to humbly request that you share one or two of the most appalling of your cracker jokes with us, this year (along with the hats, those are my favorite part). i'll share some of my appalling chocolate jokes if you want (assuming i get those chocolates again), but they'll be in french so they might conceivably be less popular.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by Patricia

Two people take a cracker, one at each end, and pull. A small bang ensues. The person with the longer portion of the cracker gets to keep the toy. They also read out the joke. Everyone groans. Then they put the hat on.

I should point out that the last "they" refers to the person with the longer portion of the cracker, and not everyone. It would be very silly if everyone tried to put on the hat. (Sorry, Patricia -- If I'm not careful Zelda will try and give me the pendant.)

For some crackers, there is also the game of "figure out what on earth the toy is"?

The winner is the person who doesn't get an longer portions.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

patricia, i would like to humbly request that you share one or two of the most appalling of your cracker jokes with us, this year (along with the hats, those are my favorite part). i'll share some of my appalling chocolate jokes if you want (assuming i get those chocolates again), but they'll be in french so they might conceivably be less popular.

If you are really desparate/sad/in need of mental torture, you could try the BBC.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

I should point out that the last "they" refers to the person with the longer portion of the cracker, and not everyone. It would be very silly if everyone tried to put on the hat. (Sorry, Patricia -- If I'm not careful Zelda will try and give me the pendant.)

i'm just waiting for my chance... of course, first i have to have a second one made, because i doubt anyone will let me relinquish the original pendant.

For some crackers, there is also the game of "figure out what on earth the toy is"?

The winner is the person who doesn't get an longer portions.

ingrate ! you don't deserve crackers. you should give them all to me, who would giggle like a loon at all the appalling jokes, wear the hat with pride and sincere, child-like amusement, and possibly even add the unidentifiable cheap plastic toy to my Box O' Treasures.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

If you are really desparate/sad/in need of mental torture, you could try the BBC.

oh thank you !! i take back what i said about you being unworthy.

[Patricia]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

patricia, i would like to humbly request that you share one or two of the most appalling of your cracker jokes with us, this year (along with the hats, those are my favorite part). i'll share some of my appalling chocolate jokes if you want (assuming i get those chocolates again), but they'll be in french so they might conceivably be less popular.

I will save them for you, Zelda.

[zelda_pinwheel]

(30 seconds later, having read the top 10 worst cracker jokes)

(still giggling like a loon)

arg ! the link to more cracker jokes is BROKEN !!!

(heeheehee <-- residual giggle)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Patricia

I will save them for you, Zelda.

JOY !!!!

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

(30 seconds later, having read the top 10 worst cracker jokes)

(still giggling like a loon)

arg ! the link to more cracker jokes is BROKEN !!!

(heeheehee <-- residual giggle)

The Bob Marley one was best