Unutterably Silly Chicken

[Solitaire1]

*Unbeknowst to PoohBear, one thread participant is watching him. There's no escape from the eye of Solitaire1...(think of the songs "Every Breath You Take" and "Somebody's Watching Me").*

[Dylrob]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

*chicken remotely monitors thread (and roost) from protected location*

*chicken pulls out membership card & verifies the account is paid up until the return of Halley's Comet*

*chicken pops a new batch of corn & prepares to watch the desolate & hungry 'friends' savage one another .... under the watchful eye of eschwartz*

*Redirects and accelerates Halley's Comet towards Poohbear's protected location*

[eschwartz]

Originally Posted by Dylrob

*Redirects and accelerates Halley's Comet towards Poohbear's protected location*

on your long-term thinking.

Just as a matter of professional curiosity, how do you plan to keep poohbear there for the next 47 years?

[Solitaire1]

Originally Posted by eschwartz

on your long-term thinking.

Just as a matter of professional curiosity, how do you plan to keep poohbear there for the next 47 years?

Its easy: Put a short road next to PoohBear, he'll spend years going to the other side over and over again.

[poohbear_nc]

Fiendish 'friends' indeed! Plotting my future destruction! Fortunately I had extensive psychoanalysis and no longer am compelled to mindlessly cross the road ... just b/c it's there....

It's still there .... the road .... still there .... uncrossed ..... the road ....

*ring* *ring* Hello! Is the doctor in? I need a refresher treatment! Stat!

[5thWiggleWife]

Look deep into my eyes. Deeper...
You are getting sleepy...sleepy...you are....asleep.
When you wake up you will no longer feel the need to cross every road.
When you see a road you will feel a mild curiosity which you can easily ignore.
You can cross a road if you choose to but it is no longer an imperative for you.
When you see a bar-b-que you will not view it with fear.
You will feel a sense of wellbeing and happily place yourself within its warm, metal embrace.
The bar-b-que is your friend.
I'm going to count backwards from 3. When I get to 1 you will wake refreshed and have no memory of this session.
And....3.....2....1.....

[poohbear_nc]

*wha?* *snort* *zzzz* *yawn*

Hey! What happened just now? I sort of dozed off ... and now ... now .... I feel compelled to push a BBQ across the road ... and ask it to be my friend ....

WHY AM I HUGGING THIS GRILL?

*chicken runs to doctor's office as fast as possible and flings himself onto the welcoming couch*

[Solitaire1]

*Solitaire1, who has been watching PoohBear and chuckling, sneaks into the doctor's office and replaces the therapy guide with a book of the most depressing songs. He replaces the music in the audio system with depressing songs from that book. The song "Seasons In The Sun" by Terry Jacks fills the air...*

BTW, the book is inspired by the real book "I Hate Myself And Want To Die" by Tom Reynolds, a book of the 52 most depressing songs in existence.

[Dylrob]

Don't worry Poohbear: there's another psychiatrist's office just on the other side of the road.

[5thWiggleWife]

Yes, chicken. Cross the road. You know you want to. Go ahead. What could it hurt? After all it's just a little road.

[74Cuda]

I'm waiting, c'mon chicken. Take a chance.

[poohbear_nc]

*chicken climbs aboard genuine ACME pogo stick -- the model personally recommended by Wil-E Coyote*

OK road .... here goes .....

SPROING!

[74Cuda]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

*chicken climbs aboard genuine ACME pogo stick -- the model personally recommended by Wil-E Coyote*

OK road .... here goes .....

SPROING!

See Last Person to post to see how that worked out.

[Dylrob]

We are fairly certain that this and the last person thread exist different continuities.

[Solitaire1]

Yes, that's true. Each thread's continuity has it's own rules and history. In this thread chickens will eventually end up consumed while in the Last Poster thread chickens have the potential to live a long time.