Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 511

PieMan597 · 03-31-2014, 08:55 PM

Here's another one from that class.
Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "Man, is it hot in here!" The other one said, "AAH! A talking muffin!"

Glorfindel · 03-31-2014, 08:57 PM

lol .

steven522 · 04-01-2014, 10:00 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road?

That was the direction the side discharge chute on the mower was facing.

Glorfindel · 04-01-2014, 01:06 PM

how do you double the value of a chevy?

put $5 worth of gas in it

HomeInMyShoes · 04-01-2014, 01:35 PM

your math is wrong, that would be tripling.

PieMan597 · 04-01-2014, 02:02 PM

One day before George Bush's inaguration, he was being showed around by Bill Clinton. George had been drinking a lot of water, so he had to go to the bathroom. After politely excusing himself, he went in and was amazed, Bill Clinton had a golden urinal! After getting out of the bathroom, George shared with his wife that he would never self-indulge like that.

That day at lunch, his wife shared to Hillary Clinton about how he felt about the urinal.

At dinner that day, Hillary Clinton said to Bill Clinton, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."

Glorfindel · 04-01-2014, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomeInMyShoes

your math is wrong, that would be tripling.

lol I take it you aren't their biggest fan?

poohbear_nc · 04-01-2014, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steven522

Why did the chicken cross the road?

That was the direction the side discharge chute on the mower was facing.

Egad!

Glorfindel · 04-01-2014, 03:37 PM

:lol:

PieMan597 · 04-01-2014, 04:57 PM

What's the most dignified part of a circle?

Spoiler:

PieMan597 · 04-02-2014, 01:57 PM

This is an old one, you've probably heard it before.

An immagrint from another country was looking for a job. He didn't know any English, so he just repeated what he heard. His job was to say "Me Me Me" on a commercial. Going to his job, he heard someone in a candy shop going, "He stole my lolypop!" Next, going past a resturant, he heard, "Forks and knives. Forks and Knives." Finally, going past an appliance store, "Plug it in."
Before he could go to his job, the police were looking for a murder. They asked him, "Who killed this man?"

"Me Me Me"

"Why did you kill him?"

"He stole my lolypop!"

"How did you kill him?"

"Forks and Knives. Forks and Knives."

"We are going to have to put you in the electric chair."

"Plug it in!"

MJK2111 · 04-03-2014, 02:15 PM

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal?

His goal:

Spoiler:

MJK2111 · 04-03-2014, 02:16 PM

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

MJK2111 · 04-03-2014, 02:17 PM

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

MJK2111 · 04-03-2014, 02:17 PM

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

04-01-2014, 02:02 PM	#7656
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	The golden urinal One day before George Bush's inaguration, he was being showed around by Bill Clinton. George had been drinking a lot of water, so he had to go to the bathroom. After politely excusing himself, he went in and was amazed, Bill Clinton had a golden urinal! After getting out of the bathroom, George shared with his wife that he would never self-indulge like that. That day at lunch, his wife shared to Hillary Clinton about how he felt about the urinal. At dinner that day, Hillary Clinton said to Bill Clinton, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."

04-01-2014, 04:57 PM	#7660
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	What's the most dignified part of a circle? Spoiler: The circumfrence!

04-03-2014, 02:15 PM	#7662
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: Spoiler: transcend dental medication.

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03-31-2014, 08:55 PM	#7651
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	Here's another one from that class. Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "Man, is it hot in here!" The other one said, "AAH! A talking muffin!"

03-31-2014, 08:57 PM	#7652
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,762 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO	lol .

04-01-2014, 10:00 AM	#7653
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	Why did the chicken cross the road? That was the direction the side discharge chute on the mower was facing.

04-01-2014, 01:06 PM	#7654
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,762 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO	how do you double the value of a chevy? put $5 worth of gas in it

04-01-2014, 01:35 PM	#7655
HomeInMyShoes Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,226 Karma: 67780237 Join Date: Jul 2011 Device: none	your math is wrong, that would be tripling.

04-01-2014, 03:37 PM	#7659
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,762 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO	:lol:

04-02-2014, 01:57 PM	#7661
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	This is an old one, you've probably heard it before. An immagrint from another country was looking for a job. He didn't know any English, so he just repeated what he heard. His job was to say "Me Me Me" on a commercial. Going to his job, he heard someone in a candy shop going, "He stole my lolypop!" Next, going past a resturant, he heard, "Forks and knives. Forks and Knives." Finally, going past an appliance store, "Plug it in." Before he could go to his job, the police were looking for a murder. They asked him, "Who killed this man?" "Me Me Me" "Why did you kill him?" "He stole my lolypop!" "How did you kill him?" "Forks and Knives. Forks and Knives." "We are going to have to put you in the electric chair." "Plug it in!"

04-03-2014, 02:16 PM	#7663
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

04-03-2014, 02:17 PM	#7664
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

04-03-2014, 02:17 PM	#7665
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.