Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

A Hasidic man, with a long beard, payis (earlocks), a kaftan (a long black coat), and shtreiml (the traditional fur hat worn by Chassidic Jews), walks into a bar with a multi-colored parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender says: "Where'd you get that?"
The parrot replies: " Brooklyn . There's thousands of them."


Stitchawl

I actually had to read that twice to get it. Running cold today.

[steven522]

Originally Posted by Fbone

How is it possible?

I guess that explains why my teeth have been slowly dissolving lately.

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by steven522

I guess that explains why my teeth have been slowly dissolving lately.

Either that, or you have British genes (like me).

[PoP]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

A Hasidic man, with a long beard, payis (earlocks), a kaftan (a long black coat), and shtreiml (the traditional fur hat worn by Chassidic Jews), walks into a bar with a multi-colored parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender says: "Where'd you get that?"
The parrot replies: " Brooklyn . There's thousands of them."


Stitchawl

Told your excellent joke today. I modified it just a little to achieve (I think) a better delivery:

A Hasidic man, with a long beard, payis (earlocks), a kaftan (a long black coat), and shtreiml (the traditional fur hat worn by Chassidic Jews), walks into a bar with a multi-colored parrot on his shoulder.

"Where'd you get that?" says the bartender.

"There's thousands of them in Brooklyn." replies the parrot.

P. S. I also replaced « Brooklyn » by « mile end » to adapt it to my neighborhood.

[orlok]

Originally Posted by Hamlet53

I actually had to read that twice to get it. Running cold today.

Me too

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Either that, or you have British genes (like me).

Oy! I resemble that remark!

[orlok]

My wife winked at me this evening and said, "What's your ultimate fantasy?"

"Can you stop asking stupid questions?" I replied.

"Okay, sorry," she shrugged.

"This is fun," I said, "What's yours?"

[MJK2111]

Best reason of all to deport Justin Bieber: it will single-handedly raise the collective IQ of two countries.

[Fbone]

[benham]

FOUR RETIREES VISIT A BAR



Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona

They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents."
They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you!
What'll it be, gentlemen?"

There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."
The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck.
They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 cents, please."
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"
"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."
"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.
Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says, "They're retired people from Wisconsin. They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price, plus they all have coupons..."

[Stitchawl]

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver
replied, "Bout whut?"



Stitchawl

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Either that, or you have British genes (like me).

Me thout's they'z'all made in China?!?

[Fbone]

Wisdom from Stephen King.

[cromag]

No joke!

[Kumabjorn]

On the topic of p-books vs. e-books;
What it would look like if floppies still were around.

[PeterT]

Originally Posted by Kumabjorn

On the topic of p-books vs. e-books;
What it would look like if floppies still were around.

I remember downloading beta versions of Windows 95 on floppy images!