The Worst Books I've Read - And Loving it!

[gmw]

It seems to me that almost anything by Edgar Rice Burroughs could probably fit in here.

A quick random scan found the following near the end of "The Return of Tarzan":

The next morning, as they were preparing to embark upon the cruiser, Tarzan ventured a suggestion to Jane Porter.

"Wild beasts are supposed to be devoid of sentiment," he said, "but nevertheless I should like to be married in the cabin where I was born, beside the graves of my mother and my father, and surrounded by the savage jungle that always has been my home."

"Would it be quite regular, dear?" she asked. "For if it would I know of no other place in which I should rather be married to my forest god than beneath the shade of his primeval forest."

You can find the equivalent, and better, in almost any of them you pick up, whether it's Tarzan in his jungle, or John Carter on Mars, etc. etc. etc. And the covers!

Discard your PC inclinations, turn off your credibility sensor, and push away your desire for subtlety. Take a deep breath of credulity and dive in.

[BenG]

Originally Posted by pwalker8

You mean that someone else actually read that book? The only reason I bought that was because I really liked the Brothers Hidebrandt. I bought their LOTR calendars for several years.

Luckily I didn't buy it, but got it from the library back in '79.
I had those calendars also. I sold them on eBay when the LOTR films came out.

[BenG]

Anyone read Greyfax Grimwald by Niel Hancock. It was the first book of the Circle of Light. I don't remember much about it, but I remember thinking it was awful. I found it soon after I first read LOTR when therer really wasn't much contemporary fantasy to choose from.



Edit: It seems to be back in print, for the kindle at least.

[applesauce]

Deathlands, it is like crack I have read 51
endworld, GAH I have read them all.

applesauce

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by BenG

Anyone read Greyfax Grimwald by Niel Hancock. It was the first book of the Circle of Light. I don't remember much about it, but I remember thinking it was awful. I found it soon after I first read LOTR when therer really wasn't much contemporary fantasy to choose from.



Edit: It seems to be back in print, for the kindle at least.

I had all of these at one time, buying them when they came out.

Unfortunately (fortunately?), I never read them.

Are they really that awful?

Do they really stink like a skunk trapped under a house?

[carpetmojo]

I can't give any titles - my grey cells refuse to retain any details if it reaches a level of dreadfulness sufficient to make me wish I'd never started it ........

Bit like terrible expensive restaurant meals that you've had to pay for ........

[steven522]

Any of the books from the Richard Blade series.

This series spanned the 1970's and were written by a collection of authors under the pseudonym "Jeffrey Lord." Part James Bond, part Conan the Barbarian, all guilty pleasure.

I found one of these in a used bookstore, read it, and began a search for the rest. A terrible, sexist, horrible, wonderful, can't-put-them-down, don't-want-to-pick-them-back-up type of read if there ever was one.


Here is the cover form the debut issue The Bronze Axe:


And a quote from same issue:

Cold water was dashed into his face. Blade, stung and shocked by the icy blast, sat up with a muffled curse. What in hell?

"There," said the girl. "That is better. I was sure you were not dead. Now you must help me. At once. I, Princess Taleen, command it!"

Blade sat up, squeegeed water from his eyes with his fingers, and stared at her. It was typical of Blade a facet of his character which had saved his life many times over that he accepted, immediately and without question, the realities of a situation. Not for a moment did he believe himself mad. Something had gone wrong with Lord Leighton's experiment. As simple as that. He would sort it out later.

[HomeInMyShoes]

"squeegeed water from his eyes"!

My potential read list is exploding at the seams already.

[Dr. Drib]

Ah, yes, those Richard Blade series - a strange bastardization of genres.

I see these all the time, all over the place.

But I have yet to see one in an outhouse.

[BenG]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

I had all of these at one time, buying them when they came out.

Unfortunately (fortunately?), I never read them.

Are they really that awful?

Do they really stink like a skunk trapped under a house?

I don't remember anything about the book itself except for the cover. I only remember thinking it was awful but I don't remember why.
I'm tempted to buy the kindle version just to find out.

[BenG]

I remember the Blade books though I never read any. There were also editions with racier covers.

[HomeInMyShoes]

Oooh, my library has book number two from the Blade series. It might be going onto my pile.

[steven522]

Originally Posted by BenG

I remember the Blade books though I never read any. There were also editions with racier covers.

You might be thinking of the GOR series. There were re-issues that dropped the Boris Vallejo art for photographic covers.

Actually, the GOR books by John Norman is probably yet another series that belongs in this list.

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by steven522

You might be thinking of the GOR series. There were re-issues that dropped the Boris Vallejo art for photographic covers.

Actually, the GOR books by John Norman is probably yet another series that belongs in this list.

Unreadable! (In my opinion.)

However, the first 4 books (some would argue only the first 3 books) were OK.

[BenG]

Originally Posted by steven522

You might be thinking of the GOR series. There were re-issues that dropped the Boris Vallejo art for photographic covers.

Actually, the GOR books by John Norman is probably yet another series that belongs in this list.

No I was thinking of covers like this one
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3671/1...db2d97b7_b.jpg