Corrupt-a-Wish

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by Slite

Granted, all the species you listed above cease to exist, causing the Earths eco-system to go haywire which will make the human race go extiinct in about 50 years. Thanks a lot dude!

I wish we could at least keep the pandas?

Granted. Unfortunately humans discover panda meat is not only inedible but also toxic to the human digestive system, and we die out in 25 years instead.

I wish this humidity would go.

[pshrynk]

Granted. All food is healthy. That is, all that is left is health food. And as you know, one can get along quite well on health food as long as one eats a hearty lunch before hand.

I wish that the off topic thread would get on topic.

[Wordcrasher]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Granted. All food is healthy. That is, all that is left is health food. And as you know, one can get along quite well on health food as long as one eats a hearty lunch before hand.

I wish that the off topic thread would get on topic.

Granted. Unfortunately due to a recentlly discovered corollary of supersimmetry theory, all the other threads get OT.

I wish my 4 years daughter will behave well at the dentist

[DixieGal]

Originally Posted by Wordcrasher

Granted. Unfortunately due to a recentlly discovered corollary of supersimmetry theory, all the other threads get OT.

I wish my 4 years daughter will behave well at the dentist

Granted, she behaves well and has a good checkup. All is well.... EXCEPT for the incidental finding when you smile.... You are gonna need dentures!

I wish Steve would become rich and famous when he mentions to the Powers That Be that he is a friend of mine, since I would also have to be rich and famous in order to have that sort of influence.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

I wish Steve would become rich and famous when he mentions to the Powers That Be that he is a friend of mine, since I would also have to be rich and famous in order to have that sort of influence.

Granted. Steve mentions your name to PTB, and the adulation and admiration backwash from knowing someone as amazing and astounding as your good self results in an instance set of book deals, festival outings, TV appearances and film contacts so that he rapidly eclipses you -- especially with the outrageous stories he tells about you (you are, of course, far too good a person to contradict or challenge any of his allegations). All the success this brings causes Steve to change, and become ever more the maniac celebrity until even the likes of Mr Jackson and Miss Hilton take pity on him (and his 17 reality channels that are running 24 hours a day). Of course, everyone blames you for what has happened to him....

I wish someone would introduce a Mental Health (Corporations) Act....

[DixieGal]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

I wish someone would introduce a Mental Health (Corporations) Act....

Granted. Of course, this does not take place until after your very public murderous rampage through the zoo, shouting something about Peter Pan Squirrels, and eventually being taken down by the SWAT team. The episode opens a panScotland dialog on mental health. After lots of gritty voices shouting in committees, many haggis breaks, and an embarrassing round of angry tartan yanking, they decide you were temporarily insane and the discussion was dropped. Everybody adjourned to the nearest bar for whiskey and chocolate.

I wish my keyboard was made of cheesecake.

[Taylor514ce]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Granted. All food is healthy.

I don't want my food to be healthy. I want it to be dead.

NAY: Healthy.
JAY: Healthful.

I wish people would get those words right!

[RWood]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Granted. Of course, this does not take place until after your very public murderous rampage through the zoo, shouting something about Peter Pan Squirrels, and eventually being taken down by the SWAT team. The episode opens a panScotland dialog on mental health. After lots of gritty voices shouting in committees, many haggis breaks, and an embarrassing round of angry tartan yanking, they decide you were temporarily insane and the discussion was dropped. Everybody adjourned to the nearest bar for whiskey and chocolate.

I wish my keyboard was made of cheesecake.

Granted. Now all typing is impossible as you eat every keyboard that you encounter. (You encounter fewer and fewer keyboards as time passes since you are not the only one that likes cheesecake. ("Excuse me madam, did you want strawberry keyboard for desert tonight?")

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

I don't want my food to be healthy. I want it to be dead.

NAY: Healthy.
JAY: Healthful.

I wish people would get those words right!

Granted. However they now get all other words left (out of conversation resulting in people taking flash cards with them so that they can communicate with others as they can say only "Healthy" and "Healthful."

I wish processed lunch meats were not so harmful to the body.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Granted. Steve mentions your name to PTB, and the adulation and admiration backwash from knowing someone as amazing and astounding as your good self results in an instance set of book deals, festival outings, TV appearances and film contacts so that he rapidly eclipses you -- especially with the outrageous stories he tells about you (you are, of course, far too good a person to contradict or challenge any of his allegations). All the success this brings causes Steve to change, and become ever more the maniac celebrity until even the likes of Mr Jackson and Miss Hilton take pity on him (and his 17 reality channels that are running 24 hours a day). Of course, everyone blames you for what has happened to him....

Daig...

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by RWood

I wish processed lunch meats were not so harmful to the body.

Granted: Processed luncheon meats are great for your body, but they rot your mind. You're now the healthiest moron in town.

I wish there was a way for me to reverse the manic behavior that caused Mankind to despise and loath me and my reality shows. (Well... maybe not the reality shows.)

[RWood]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

I wish there was a way for me to reverse the manic behavior that caused Mankind to despise and loath me and my reality shows. (Well... maybe not the reality shows.)

Granted. Now they just loath and despise you in a non-manic way. Your reality show goes into syndication and you are loathed and despised by a whole new generation of couch potatoes (the tater tots) and sales of your face on T-shirts and dart boards set new records. Your CD of love songs hits #1 on the Billboard charts for comedy records.

I wish a splendid time for the person granting this wish.

[vivaldirules]

Originally Posted by RWood

Granted. Now they just loath and despise you in a non-manic way. Your reality show goes into syndication and you are loathed and despised by a whole new generation of couch potatoes (the tater tots) and sales of your face on T-shirts and dart boards set new records. Your CD of love songs hits #1 on the Billboard charts for comedy records.

I wish a splendid time for the person granting this wish.

Granted. :bigfatsmileythinggoeshere:

I wish everyone could be as gracious and humble and lovable as me.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

I wish everyone could be as gracious and humble and lovable as me.

Granted: Everyone is as gracious and humble and lovable as you... which brings out a nice-fest that kills the population of the world through acute saccharin poisoning.

I wish I had permission to spill the beans about next year's Read an E-book Week.

[RWood]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

I wish I had permission to spill the beans about next year's Read an E-book Week.

Granted. You spill the beans (and the rest of the chili but no one observes the 5 second rule and eats it directly from the floor resulting in a mass sickness that cancels the rest of the week and the awards presentation thus depriving you of the medal for "Best eBook of the Year"

I wish that the squirrels would stay out of my yard.

[UncleDuke]

eat more fish

and

doughnuts