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Old 10-08-2008, 10:41 AM   #76
montsnmags
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Oh, now were getting complicated, lemurs are really squirrels in disguise who are really lilliputians in disguise, oh my, the implications are staggering. Does that mean that Jonathan Swift was really the evil overlord behind the invasion of the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels???
It's all squirrels in disguise. Lilliputians too. Back in the 1700's...well I'm informed me and Mister Swift ("Johnno" as I called him. Nice bloke), did a lot of opium. Ahh, those were the days...apparently. The 1700's...if you can remember them, you weren't there.

"Satire"? Drug-frakked hallucination posing as literature more like, but Johnno knew how to kick on.

Cheers,
Marc
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Old 10-08-2008, 02:22 PM   #77
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Sick, sick, and sick! You're all just sick.
Actually, yes, my allergies are making me utterly miserable.

Or maybe I'm just pining... pining for the Queen's return...
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Old 10-08-2008, 04:09 PM   #78
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Actually, yes, my allergies are making me utterly miserable.

Or maybe I'm just pining... pining for the Queen's return...
Same here, neko. Both counts.

Pining, sprucing, yewing, firring, larching, cedaring, junipering - whatevering.
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Old 10-08-2008, 04:59 PM   #79
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Same here, neko. Both counts.

Pining, sprucing, yewing, firring, larching, cedaring, junipering - whatevering.
Me, I'm ashen.
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:11 PM   #80
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Same here, neko. Both counts.

Pining, sprucing, yewing, firring, larching, cedaring, junipering - whatevering.
Dogwood? (sorry...)

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Me, I'm ashen.


Should we be holding out an Olive branch?
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:25 PM   #81
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Without Queen Zee, life is a beech.
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:30 PM   #82
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Hard as oak.
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:38 PM   #83
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And weeping like a willow, I suppose, VR?
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:45 PM   #84
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Bark, bark!
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Old 10-08-2008, 11:34 PM   #85
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Hang on. Weren't you supposed to be writing the ministeral Anthem for the Return of the Royal Zee?
...
Okay, after discovering that Zany Carters are just as effective by plunging the twirly straw straight up your left nostril and directly into your brain and then fitting your mouth and nose inside the rim of the glass and blowing hard, and OMG!!!FEELTHERUSHANDLOOKATALLTHEPRETTYCOLOURS!!! I have finally completed the new anthem for the Ministry, well within the due date of the return of Queen Zee.

It has the full and complete approval of the Church Of Gibbonacy, and personal blessing has been provided by the High Gibbonate (which means any criticism will be given great inquisition by the Clan Of Adrian - that's just a little warning, because no-one expects the clannish inquisition).

Some musical guidance, for you, the tone-deaf apparatchik...

The anthem's inspiration is that of two Bertrand's - one of plastic, and one of the Queen's acquaintance - and is sung to the tune and metrical lyricism of that great hymn, Ça plane pour moi. The gods have informed the High Gibbonate that during the transmission of their musical message, sent directly to the High Gibbonate's pituitary gland, it unfortunately became detoured within popular perceptions' four basic dimensions, attracted to the genius of Plastic Bertrand like the billion year old light of a quaser being warped around an intervening galactic supercluster, and thus the imprint is permanent. Natural English meter is required to be forced to conform to natural French meter. You don't like that, speak to Adrian.

If you are going to hear the Music of the Great Pinwheel, it is important that we dance before our queen with all our might; that we leap and dance before her blessed Spinningness. So, taking our queue from the Plastic one, we must leap and dance and generally fling ourselves about like giraffes on acid.

So, to the tune...firstly, here is the Holy Detour from which you must totally and completely and utterly fill yourself with the tune and lyrical beat:



Now, his lyrics obviously make no sense whatsoever (though I'm sure they would have if the sacred transmission hadn't passed through him while he was very, very, very drunk), but the Holy Gibbonate's pituitary gland has exuded the following words into his forebrain, and they easily replace those of Bertrand, while making far more sense. Are you ready? No? Speak to Adrian then, because here they are...


Queen Zee's Ministerial Anthem (by order of the High Gibbonate)

Wham! Bam! MotheRland!
Sitting in a bubble bath
while cats are quaffing Zany Carters,
but for me, well I just and rust and lust
wait in the gutter til I'm dust
then I had a dream
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
in one colour

Allez hop! After dark
my Jet-girl made up of quarks
with tofu skin and verdigris lycra
defenestrates from her boudoir
suckling on my Paris Brest and
espresso
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
Why so? Because Jet-girl says so

Spin, Zelda, spin! Pinwheel and spin!
Spin, Zelda spin spin spin spin spin
Pinwheel and Spin
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
Spin, Zelda, Spin!

Allez hop! In her wake, feel the quake!
Exploding jewel!
Thrown to the stones I solo-duel
untwist, swing fist, chew grist, I'm pissed.
"Tu es la reine du bain moussant",
If you got it you can flaunt.
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
"Elle est la reine du bain moussant"

Spin, Zelda, spin! Pinwheel and spin!
Spin, Zelda spin spin spin spin spin
Pinwheel and Spin
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
Spin, Zelda, Spin!

Allez hop! Frak you, frak me
but not the fairy.
Quatorze juillet!
We crushed the proles and formed the Ministry
You dance with angels on a pin
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
Spin, Zelda, spin!

Allez hop! Escapee, gravity,
in the space between the branes she sees that the
blue one, the one next to the fish,
it drank from the cup
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
Now let's nude-up!

Spin, Zelda, spin! Pinwheel and spin!
Spin, Zelda spin spin spin spin spin
Pinwheel and Spin
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
Spin, Zelda, Spin!
Spin, Zelda, spin! Pinwheel and spin!
Spin, Zelda spin spin spin spin spin [fade...]



Trust me on this - Our Queen Zee is gonna love it!

Yours hymnally,
The High Gibbonate
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Old 10-09-2008, 02:20 AM   #86
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I'm speechless..... Stunned and Speechless, also somehow feel a bit abused.... almost.... unclean....

But I asume that's more or less what you aimed for, right Marc?
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Old 10-09-2008, 08:17 AM   #87
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Nicely done, Marc!

Dreamer
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Old 10-09-2008, 09:19 AM   #88
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I need something after that. as soon as I stop screaming, I'll probably figure out what.
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Old 10-09-2008, 03:15 PM   #89
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I need something after that. as soon as I stop screaming, I'll probably figure out what.
A Zany Carter, of course. It's the only proper thing to have after a song like that!
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Old 10-09-2008, 03:19 PM   #90
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A Zany Carter, of course. It's the only proper thing to have after a song like that!
Actually, I think a Pan-Galactic GurgleBlaster would be more fitting after THAT song...
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