Corrupt-a-Wish

[gollu]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

I wish I had perfect vision, so I didn't need glasses.

Granted. Now you see so many details, that your brain can't analyze them all and is stuck with information.

I wish I finally got an answer to that email I sent two day ago.

[Slite]

Originally Posted by gollu

Granted. Now you see so many details, that your brain can't analyze them all and is stuck with information.

I wish I finally got an answer to that email I sent two day ago.

Granted, there was an answer, but it was intercepted by pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels so you have no idea what the answer was.

I wish BeBook's mobireader would support dictionary lookups and font changes since Arial and Times New Roman are almost as evil as pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels

[Cookie Monster]

Originally Posted by Slite

I wish BeBook's mobireader would support dictionary lookups and font changes since Arial and Times New Roman are almost as evil as pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels

Granted but BeBook only let you change the font to Wingdings and Comic Sans and only allow you to have a dictionary of gobbledegook.

I wish the government would hurry up and guarantee all bank deposits.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Granted. They guarantee that all bank deposits will be taken away and used to fund their next meal out.

I wish the sun would come back out

[Slite]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

Granted. They guarantee that all bank deposits will be taken away and used to fund their next meal out.

I wish the sun would come back out

Granted, the sun comes out, looks around, gets immensly depressed by the state of the economy and gets back into bed vowing to never come out again, so thanks for plunging the earth into a premature iceage, followed by the demise of all living things!

I wish I wasn't so tired.

[Taylor514ce]

granted: you're dead

I wish they'd stop advertising "The Starter Wife" so much during my House marathons.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

I wish they'd stop advertising "The Starter Wife" so much during my House marathons.

Granted. Now you get twice as many advertisements for the original 90210, running on SoapNet for-frickin'-ever, backed by advertisements for Falcon Crest, which is actually not running anywhere at all, and therefore totally pointless to advertise.

(BTW: Granting wishes with "you're dead" is a pretty cheap trick for a genie... besides, where's the suffering from a well-corrupted wish? Come on, you can do better than that!)

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard the phrase "Big Brother" on this website.

[Slite]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

Granted. Now you get twice as many advertisements for the original 90210, running on SoapNet for-frickin'-ever, backed by advertisements for Falcon Crest, which is actually not running anywhere at all, and therefore totally pointless to advertise.

(BTW: Granting wishes with "you're dead" is a pretty cheap trick for a genie... besides, where's the suffering from a well-corrupted wish? Come on, you can do better than that!)

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard the phrase "Big Brother" on this website.

Granted, you get an ethiopian dollar for every time you heard the phrase "Big Brother", which earns you 22 ethiopian dollars. don't spend them all at once!

I wish I had 100 Euros for everytime I had a wish granted with "Your dead"

[Taylor514ce]

Cheap trick? You don't see the humor in granting all of Slite's wishes by killing him? It's great sport.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by Slite

I wish I had 100 Euros for everytime I had a wish granted with "Your dead"

Granted. For the precise moment, the planc time, that the wish is thus granted you have a 100 Euros. It then disappears faster than bank profitability. (And to add to the frustration, this doesn't apply to wishes granted "You're Dead."...)

I wish I hadn't knocked myself unconscious on the bunker door.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

I wish I hadn't knocked myself unconscious on the bunker door.

Granted. You knocked yourself unconcious on the low hanging branch by the bunker door and plunged headlong into the bunker door, which happened to be unlocked, sending you sprawling into the bunker and knocking over a full but open bottle of really good red wine.

I wish I knew where the bunker actually was...

[radioflyertoo]

Granted - but the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels have surrounded it and will not let you in.

I wish for a large chocolate Banana split with walnuts and real whipped cream

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by radioflyertoo

I wish for a large chocolate Banana split with walnuts and real whipped cream

Granted. A large chocolate banana is split; half going to some walnuts and half going to some real whipped cream, and an infinitesimally small fraction left for yourself. However, the cream did not like being whipped and is out for revenge. And it is looking directly at you.....

I wish that I can easily find a parking place near the restaurant that I've booked for better half's birthday tonight....

[Slite]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Granted. A large chocolate banana is split; half going to some walnuts and half going to some real whipped cream, and an infinitesimally small fraction left for yourself. However, the cream did not like being whipped and is out for revenge. And it is looking directly at you.....

I wish that I can easily find a parking place near the restaurant that I've booked for better half's birthday tonight....

Granted, but the valet service is provided by pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels. Let the screaming hysterics commence! And remember that the bunker is still locked!

I wish people would be nice to each other, refering to the buttwipe that hacked my blog last night and made me upgrade all my scripts to close the security hole.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by Slite

I wish people would be nice to each other, refering to the buttwipe that hacked my blog last night and made me upgrade all my scripts to close the security hole.

I almost hate to do this one, but... Granted. Everyone is being reeeaal nice to each other... including the fat, greasy buttfaced landlord of the buttwipe hacker in question, whom buttwipe could have sworn was straight yesterday...

I wish I wasn't in reality a sophisticated futuristic computer that uses this forum to demonstrate its ability to pass the Turing test with ease.