Corrupt-a-Wish

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I wish I was as witty and clever as the 4 of you who are sharing that one body.

Granted. <Trust me, that wish is its own corruption as you are now stuck in the body with the rest of us....>

I wish the following film would be made:

SquirrelSlayer: A True Story

Starring
Sylvester Stallone as Sly, the Patterdale Terrier Wrangler
Hordes of pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels as themselves.
Madonna, as Madge, Sly's partner
Macaulay Culkin as Madge and Sly's child

Sly returns home to find his partner and child have been hypnotised by pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels and have moved to the city to infiltrate the financial institutions and bring ruin down on the West. Ambushed by the evil hordes, he only just escapes with his life thanks to the aid of his highly trained terriers, and vows to get back his family and let the world know of the squirrel threat. He sets off, and through many battles eventually finds his family, but is faced with the agonizing choice of saving his partner and child or saving his terriers and eliminating the squirrels. He chooses his terriers.

The end credits note "no terriers where harmed; sadly very large numbers of pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels died in the making of this film."

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Granted. <Trust me, that wish is its own corruption as you are now stuck in the body with the rest of us....>

I wish the following film would be made:

SquirrelSlayer: A True Story

Starring
Sylvester Stallone as Sly, the Patterdale Terrier Wrangler
Hordes of pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels as themselves.
Madonna, as Madge, Sly's partner
Macaulay Culkin as Madge and Sly's child

Sly returns home to find his partner and child have been hypnotised by pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels and have moved to the city to infiltrate the financial institutions and bring ruin down on the West. Ambushed by the evil hordes, he only just escapes with his life thanks to the aid of his highly trained terriers, and vows to get back his family and let the world know of the squirrel threat. He sets off, and through many battles eventually finds his family, but is faced with the agonizing choice of saving his partner and child or saving his terriers and eliminating the squirrels. He chooses his terriers.

The end credits note "no terriers where harmed; sadly very large numbers of pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels died in the making of this film."

Granted - it becomes so popular that 2 sequels a year have to be made, and the world is overrun with and smothered by plushies of ninja squirrels, which unaccountably got more of a fan following than anyone/thing else in the films.

I wish dinner would magically appear in front of me.

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

I wish dinner would magically appear in front of me.

Sploosh!! Dinner magically appears DIRECTLY in front of your face, and is accompanied by a further push from behind the plate. You now have dinner all over your face, in the traditional pie-in-the-face fashion.

I wish I knew what your dinner had been, before it went all Splooshy on you.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Sploosh!! Dinner magically appears DIRECTLY in front of your face, and is accompanied by a further push from behind the plate. You now have dinner all over your face, in the traditional pie-in-the-face fashion.

I wish I knew what your dinner had been, before it went all Splooshy on you.

Granted. It was squirrel satay, with neeps and tatties, followed by Mackie's vanilla ice cream. And you now feel really bad about ruining such an excellent desert.

I wish I had a tub of Mackie's vanilla ice cream (in excellent condition) in the freezer, with some apple and blackberry crumble to serve with it.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Wish granted. Unfortunately, whilst the ice cream is in excellent condition, the freezer cannot be opened; and attempts to hack it open with a chaninsaw/blunt object/pirate squirrel will lead to the destruction of said ice cream. Which is a shame, because it is delicious.

I really wish I wasn't craving vanilla ice cream now!

[Slite]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

Wish granted. Unfortunately, whilst the ice cream is in excellent condition, the freezer cannot be opened; and attempts to hack it open with a chaninsaw/blunt object/pirate squirrel will lead to the destruction of said ice cream. Which is a shame, because it is delicious.

I really wish I wasn't craving vanilla ice cream now!

Granted, instead you crave chocolate ice cream, and no stores are open anywhere!

I wish I could get my dogs to understad the meaning of STAY!

[Wordcrasher]

Originally Posted by Slite

Granted, instead you crave chocolate ice cream, and no stores are open anywhere!

I wish I could get my dogs to understad the meaning of STAY!

Granted. But your dog has become a Jackson Browne fan, and he howls "Stay" all night long.

I wish I was able to sleep other 2 hours.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by Wordcrasher

I wish I was able to sleep other 2 hours.

Granted. You can sleep for another two hours. And that's it. For ever.... Hello sleepless.

I wish I hadn't just finished by glass of Caol Ila.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Oooh, I haven't tried that one.
So - Granted. You haven't just finished your glass, I have.

I wish I felt sleepy

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

I wish I felt sleepy

Granted. You now feel sleepy.

Say... aren't you late for work?

I wish the commuter trains always ran on time with no breakdowns.

[Wordcrasher]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

Granted. You now feel sleepy.

Say... aren't you late for work?

I wish the commuter trains always ran on time with no breakdowns.

Granted, unfortunately now you are always arriving too late to catch it.

I wish I had some croissants for breakfast this morning

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by Wordcrasher

I wish I had some croissants for breakfast this morning

Granted. I hope you know what you're going to serve them... croissants can be very picky.

I wish we'd had bacon instead of ham for breakfast this morning.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

I wish we'd had bacon instead of ham for breakfast this morning.

Granted. You now have a large ham looking at you with baleful eyes because it wasn't invited to breakfast.

I wish I didn't have a very vivid picture of that in my mind.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

Granted. You now have a large ham looking at you with baleful eyes because it wasn't invited to breakfast.

I wish I didn't have a very vivid picture of that in my mind.

Granted. Steve decided to invite you to breakfast as well as the bacon, so you, too, are now looking into the baleful eyes of an unloved ham. And bad actors can be really unpleasant in the morning.

I wish that the bottle of desert wine I plan to open tonight with the tarte au citron is as good as the last one...

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

I wish that the bottle of desert wine I plan to open tonight with the tarte au citron is as good as the last one...

Granted: The bottle is impeccable. The wine inside of it, however, has turned to vinegar. Pass the tartes!

I wish I had perfect vision, so I didn't need glasses.