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Old 10-01-2008, 03:12 PM   #361
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I wish I could get a signed copy of Metallicas Black Album.
Granted. It's a bad photocopy signed by Sylvester Stallone.

I wish for squirreled piece.
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Old 10-01-2008, 03:21 PM   #362
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What's a squirreled piece?
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Old 10-01-2008, 03:24 PM   #363
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What's a squirreled piece?
Oh, about $2. Ba-da-ding! (rimshot)
Pay the laddy at the door on your way out.
I'm here all week, be sure to tip your waitress.
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Old 10-01-2008, 03:27 PM   #364
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Oh, about $2. Ba-da-ding! (rimshot)
Pay the laddy at the door on your way out.
I'm here all week, be sure to tip your waitress.

Isnt' that "Pay the luddite on your way out"?
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Old 10-01-2008, 03:28 PM   #365
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Granted. It's a bad photocopy signed by Sylvester Stallone.

I wish for squirreled piece.
Granted, you get a squirreled piece, but it really just Sylvester Stallone in disguise.

I wish I could get a new car.
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Old 10-01-2008, 03:28 PM   #366
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Isnt' that "Pay the luddite on your way out"?
No, I mean laddy. I'm performing at Pshrynk's office this week. Now get back to work and corrupt my wish!
Last edited by DixieGal; 10-01-2008 at 03:29 PM. Reason: Oops! I was too late with my demand!
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Old 10-01-2008, 03:36 PM   #367
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I wish there was a Rocky 7 with Sylvester Stallone and Arnie.
Granted. Rocky 7: Battle in an Empty Theater

I wish for squirrel peas.
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Old 10-01-2008, 03:56 PM   #368
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I wish for squirrel peas.
Granted. Except that it turns out to be whirled instead of squirrel, and it's been turned into pea soup. Pea soup inundates all the continents, turning this whole world into a big soupy mess.

I wish I could win the lottery and retire.
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Old 10-01-2008, 06:16 PM   #369
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I wish I could win the lottery and retire.

Granted. Except you win the lottery for less than the cost of the ticket and you can retire at age 95.

I wish for four more weeks of summer.
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Old 10-01-2008, 06:21 PM   #370
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Granted. Except you win the lottery for less than the cost of the ticket and you can retire at age 95.

I wish for four more weeks of summer.

Granted. But the groundhog saw your shadow and predicted 4 extra months of winter to begin immediately following your wish fulfillment.

I wish people would stop tiptoeing up behind me here at work and scaring me into nearly jumping out of my chair.
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Old 10-01-2008, 06:26 PM   #371
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Granted. Except you win the lottery for less than the cost of the ticket and you can retire at age 95.

I wish for four more weeks of summer.
Granted, we'll deliver them to you next August.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy so I could go on reading other 2 hours.
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Old 10-02-2008, 02:16 AM   #372
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Granted, we'll deliver them to you next August.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy so I could go on reading other 2 hours.
Granted, you continue reading for 2 hours, but dont understand a thing, so you need to reread the same passages tomorrow!

I wish I had some vacation coming, without getting fired or company going bust!
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Old 10-02-2008, 03:06 AM   #373
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I wish I had some vacation coming, without getting fired or company going bust!
Granted. You have a great holiday being chased by pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels who eventually caught up and beat you up outside LazyScot's locked bunker.

I wish i had a working air conditioning unit in my house.
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Old 10-02-2008, 03:20 AM   #374
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Granted. You have a great holiday being chased by pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels who eventually caught up and beat you up outside LazyScot's locked bunker.

I wish i had a working air conditioning unit in my house.
Granted, but it is working way too well, so your entire house now has a temperature of -25 Celsius.

I wish I could afford to buy an e-reader for my wife who is constantly nagging me about borrowing mine since she discovered the possibility of lending e-books at our local library.
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Old 10-03-2008, 03:06 PM   #375
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I wish I could afford to buy an e-reader for my wife who is constantly nagging me about borrowing mine since she discovered the possibility of lending e-books at our local library.
Hmmm. Looks like this wish is too near and dear to our hearts, for anyone to have the desire to corrupt it! Still, I'll give it a go ....

Ok, you can afford to buy wifey an e-reader -- and you do so -- and now she spends all her time reading lovely books, and never makes dinner, or talks to you, or even bothers with going to bed.

I wish I was as witty and clever as the 4 of you who are sharing that one body.
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