"The Second Book of Memorable First Sentences From Books That Don't Exist" - Page 6

doubleshuffle · 09-20-2013, 01:57 AM

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, and we all certainly had Bertrand down in the latter category when he started producing "artisanal CDs"; and yet he has the last laugh now as he turns down this starving writer's request for a loan and has me return empty-handed through his dark, Satanic mills where an army of malnourished Asian children is desperately yet tirelessly chipping away at mountains of round plastic discs as if to mock my aspirations and give me a glimpse of my inescapable, miserable future of barely scraping a living in the employ of the gloating nerd I should never have crossed.

doubleshuffle · 09-20-2013, 04:31 AM

He was a dark and horny knight.

doubleshuffle · 09-20-2013, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmw

He typed without glancing up from the letters, the words were coming smoothly and perfectly, he had to get them down as they came to him, "It was the beast of tides, it was the worm of tigers, it was the agent of wiseass, it was the agenda on foolscap, it was the eponym of Belial, it was the epoxy of incriminatory, it was the seasoning of Lithium, it was the seaside of Darling, it was the sprig of hooey, it was the winner of despite, we had everyone befool us, we had notorious befoul us, we were all googling dire to Heaving, we were all gooey directing the Othello Wayland shot, the perineum was so far like the preset perigee, that some of its noisette authors insipid on its bean recess, for goop or for even, in the suppurative degrease of compassion only", and then, before typing the full stop (please note that, Dr Drib), and after pausing a moment to admire this wonder from the future, this magically small and powerful gadget they called a mobile telephone, Charlie surveyed his masterpiece, and realised with horror that he hadn't turned off auto-correct.

I really really love this one.

Dr. Drib · 09-20-2013, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmw

It was the best of times (I was getting laid a lot), it was the worst of times (there's a lot of stuff going round), it was the age of wisdom (they could cure most of what I caught), it was the age of foolishness (I should have worn a condom), it was the epoch of belief (I thought I would get away with it), it was the epoch of incredulity (my wife ...), well, you get the idea, this wasn't the way I had intended to start my marriage.

(And while I'm plundering Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, I hope he has a sense of humour, here's another: )

It is a far, far better thing that I write, than I have ever written; it is a far, far better book that I give you than I have ever known.

FUNNY STUFF!

Dr. Drib

Dr. Drib · 09-20-2013, 10:51 AM

Gotta love the Old Ones.

As the Old One opened his slavering mouth (I couldn’t help but notice he had little auburn hairs sticking out of his elongated ears that, personally, would have driven me crazy during a windy day in Arkham) and started to devour me, I had but a moment left in which to type these final words on my typewriter before the inevitable chomping noise sta -

Dr. Drib

crich70 · 09-20-2013, 11:08 AM

As Long John hobbled from place to place round the byways of Jamaca town he found himself thinking about a certain cabin boy and his assertion that the lad was, 'smart as paint.'

Dr. Drib · 09-20-2013, 11:13 AM

NOTICE TO ALL CONTRIBUTORS

Please go back into your posts and boldface your one sentence. This will make it easier for me to copy/paste (and later examine) contributions that will/will not be inlcuded in our new ebook.

Also, if there are any artists out there, please PM me.

I'm thinking of a 100+ page ebook, so have no fear, this thread will go on as long as there is an interest in this project.

Thank you.

Dr. Drib

crich70 · 09-20-2013, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

NOTICE TO ALL CONTRIBUTORS

Please go back into your posts and boldface your one sentence. This will make it easier for me to copy/paste (and later examine) contributions that will/will not be inlcuded in our new ebook.

Also, if there are any artists out there, please PM me.

I'm thinking of a 100+ page ebook, so have no fear, this thread will go on as long as there is an interest in this project.

Thank you.

Dr. Drib

I've been trying to go back and bold mine, but now I'm getting a message:

Quote:

Unable to process the request. Please try again later.

Dr. Drib · 09-20-2013, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crich70

I've been trying to go back and bold mine, but now I'm getting a message:

That sounds strange.

If the issue persists, please 'Report' yourself so all of us can look at it.

Don
(Moderator)

doubleshuffle · 09-20-2013, 03:05 PM

Same problem here. A few edits worked okay, now I'm getting the same error message as crich.

Dr. Drib · 09-20-2013, 03:06 PM

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Sanders was to remember that distant afternoon when his father shoved his head into a vat of frying chicken.

It was inevitable: the scent of toe-jam always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love.

Dr. Drib

Dr. Drib · 09-20-2013, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

Same problem here. A few edits worked okay, now I'm getting the same error message as crich.

Thank you.

I'll bring this up with the other moderators.

Don
(Moderator)

doubleshuffle · 09-20-2013, 04:30 PM

Tried again, now I managed to bold the two entries on which it didn't work at first.

crich70 · 09-20-2013, 05:29 PM

I managed to get a few more done and now am getting the same problem again.
Edit: I finally got the rest of them bolded.

gmw · 09-20-2013, 10:10 PM

It let me do three and then stopped me doing any more. I'll try to get back and do the others later.

09-20-2013, 01:57 AM	#76
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, and we all certainly had Bertrand down in the latter category when he started producing "artisanal CDs"; and yet he has the last laugh now as he turns down this starving writer's request for a loan and has me return empty-handed through his dark, Satanic mills where an army of malnourished Asian children is desperately yet tirelessly chipping away at mountains of round plastic discs as if to mock my aspirations and give me a glimpse of my inescapable, miserable future of barely scraping a living in the employ of the gloating nerd I should never have crossed. Last edited by doubleshuffle; 09-20-2013 at 03:02 PM.

09-20-2013, 04:31 AM	#77
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	He was a dark and horny knight. Last edited by doubleshuffle; 09-20-2013 at 03:02 PM.

09-20-2013, 11:08 AM	#81
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,310 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	As Long John hobbled from place to place round the byways of Jamaca town he found himself thinking about a certain cabin boy and his assertion that the lad was, 'smart as paint.' Last edited by crich70; 09-20-2013 at 12:21 PM.

09-20-2013, 11:13 AM	#82
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,613 Karma: 60184181 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	NOTICE TO ALL CONTRIBUTORS Please go back into your posts and boldface your one sentence. This will make it easier for me to copy/paste (and later examine) contributions that will/will not be inlcuded in our new ebook. Also, if there are any artists out there, please PM me. I'm thinking of a 100+ page ebook, so have no fear, this thread will go on as long as there is an interest in this project. Thank you. Dr. Drib Last edited by Dr. Drib; 09-20-2013 at 11:16 AM.

09-20-2013, 03:06 PM	#86
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,613 Karma: 60184181 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Sanders was to remember that distant afternoon when his father shoved his head into a vat of frying chicken. It was inevitable: the scent of toe-jam always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love. Dr. Drib Attached Thumbnails

09-20-2013, 10:51 AM	#80
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,613 Karma: 60184181 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	Gotta love the Old Ones. As the Old One opened his slavering mouth (I couldn’t help but notice he had little auburn hairs sticking out of his elongated ears that, personally, would have driven me crazy during a windy day in Arkham) and started to devour me, I had but a moment left in which to type these final words on my typewriter before the inevitable chomping noise sta - Dr. Drib

09-20-2013, 03:05 PM	#85
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Same problem here. A few edits worked okay, now I'm getting the same error message as crich.

09-20-2013, 04:30 PM	#88
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Tried again, now I managed to bold the two entries on which it didn't work at first.

09-20-2013, 05:29 PM	#89
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,310 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	I managed to get a few more done and now am getting the same problem again. Edit: I finally got the rest of them bolded. Last edited by crich70; 09-20-2013 at 11:33 PM.

09-20-2013, 10:10 PM	#90
gmw cacoethes scribendi Posts: 5,818 Karma: 137770742 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kobo Aura One & H2Ov2, Sony PRS-650	It let me do three and then stopped me doing any more. I'll try to get back and do the others later.

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