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Old 09-29-2008, 10:45 AM   #301
Steven Lyle Jordan
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Originally Posted by radioflyertoo View Post
I wish that my tractor was robotically controlled by a gentle caring robot, that does what it's told and nothing ever broke down or needed fuel and that I am always able to communicate exactly whats needed to be done.
Granted. Thanks to you, your tractor has had a bout of conscience, and is now on its way to Africa to work for those who need its services more. Shame you didn't get the chance to tell it to stay put, but it might not have listened anyway.

I wish I had a domestic robot named Lois who was adept at cleaning the house and fixing meals, and didn't creep out my wife.
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Old 09-29-2008, 11:54 AM   #302
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Granted, but Lois is "head cheese" and hides in a cupboard, and the only way your wife will be creeped out is if she happens to open the cupboard.

(For more on head cheese, see Starfish by Peter Watts or your local butcher)


I wish I had a piece of pnut butter cheesecake from the coffee shop downstairs.
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Old 09-29-2008, 12:01 PM   #303
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Granted - but that Gibbon hit you with it's luxury car and your jaw is wired shut.

I wish for a resolution to our MR-squirrel problem.
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Old 09-29-2008, 12:02 PM   #304
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Originally Posted by DixieGal View Post
Granted, but Lois is "head cheese" and hides in a cupboard, and the only way your wife will be creeped out is if she happens to open the cupboard.

(For more on head cheese, see Starfish by Peter Watts or your local butcher)
Oh! I wondered what you were on about. Well, if she can cook and clean from in there, fine...
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:28 AM   #305
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Originally Posted by DixieGal View Post
I wish I had a piece of pnut butter cheesecake from the coffee shop downstairs.
Granted. Unfortunately the order is for a piece for everyone on the planet who is not allergic to it, so the order may take some time to arrive (hey, you shouldn't be so generous....!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by radioflyertoo View Post
I wish for a resolution to our MR-squirrel problem.
Granted. Unfortunately the solution (which involved transporting the entire squirrel population into a one dimensional universe) lasted, in our time frame, for about 1 planck time unit before they returned, somewhat crumpled and seriously annoyed.

And cheesecake notwithstanding, there is no way I'm coming out from under the bed in the bunker now...

I wish I had a way to defend myself from these pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling pirate ninja squirrels.
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:33 AM   #306
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyScot View Post
Granted. Unfortunately the order is for a piece for everyone on the planet who is not allergic to it, so the order may take some time to arrive (hey, you shouldn't be so generous....!)



Granted. Unfortunately the solution (which involved transporting the entire squirrel population into a one dimensional universe) lasted, in our time frame, for about 1 planck time unit before they returned, somewhat crumpled and seriously annoyed.

And cheesecake notwithstanding, there is no way I'm coming out from under the bed in the bunker now...

I wish I had a way to defend myself from these pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling pirate ninja squirrels.
Granted, but it involves Lemurs, which as we all know are really pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling pirate ninja squirrels in disguise.

I wish I had a flying car to help me avoid the traffic jams on my way home.
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:46 AM   #307
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Originally Posted by Slite View Post
I wish I had a flying car to help me avoid the traffic jams on my way home.
Granted. Unfortunately it is a one-shot experience, and you have to get the car, place just right in the giant catapult, and you are range-limited. Note that health insurance is not provide with use of this transport. And "Top Gear" is interested in filming your experience...

I wish I had something to deal with the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling pirate ninja lemur-disgusied squirrels that were sent to deal with the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling pirate ninja squirrels.
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:56 AM   #308
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heh heh heh
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Old 09-30-2008, 10:01 AM   #309
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And they came up with some serious weaponry as well....
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Old 09-30-2008, 06:37 PM   #310
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Originally Posted by LazyScot View Post

I wish I had something to deal with the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling pirate ninja lemur-disgusied squirrels that were sent to deal with the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling pirate ninja squirrels.
Granted you're now in a car with a hosepipe connected to the exhaust.

I wish everyone in the world would unconditionally love their pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling pirate ninja squirrels overlords.
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Old 09-30-2008, 07:32 PM   #311
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Granted. Unfortunately that love is most definitely not reciprocated, making life a misery.

I wish I wasn't about to be told to give up cheese
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:49 PM   #312
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I wish I wasn't about to be told to give up cheese
Granted: you now have already been told to give up cheese.

I wish that I could overcome procrastination.
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Old 10-01-2008, 01:37 AM   #313
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Granted: you now have already been told to give up cheese.

I wish that I could overcome procrastination.
Granted, but you will stop procrastinate tomorrow, or the next day.

I wish it was Friday already!
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Old 10-01-2008, 02:06 AM   #314
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Originally Posted by Slite View Post
Granted, but you will stop procrastinate tomorrow, or the next day.

I wish it was Friday already!

Granted, it was Friday already waking you. You are now Robinson Crusoe.

I wish the temperature here was rising to the normal average for October.
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Old 10-01-2008, 02:20 AM   #315
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Originally Posted by Wordcrasher;262585...
I wish the temperature here was rising to the normal average for October.
Granted, the temperature has now risen to the normal average for October in Jabiru, Northern Territory, Australia, of 37.6C.

I wish I was a gibbon.
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