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Old 09-25-2008, 08:43 AM   #256
Steven Lyle Jordan
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Originally Posted by LazyScot View Post
I wish I hadn't forgotten my wish on my previous post and had wished for a clear explanation of the Americal political and electoral system, together with an impact analysis of the profitability of the media.
What are you trying to do, throw us into a wicked temporal Moebius loop that will implode the fabric of time and space? I wish you wouldn't do that!

Oh, wait, it's not my turn...

Okay, Granted. Fortunately for us, the Temporal Gods quickly step in and snip the Moebius loop, saving our collective a$$es.

Unfortunately for you... now that you fully and completely understand the American electoral system, together with an impact analysis of the profitability of the media, the nonsense, deceit, underhandedness, backstabbing, pandering and degradation inherent in both systems has caused you to slip your last gear, and now you are desperately seeking a bridge high enough to throw yourself off of.

And now...

I wish you wouldn't do that.
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Old 09-25-2008, 09:11 AM   #257
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Originally Posted by Steve Jordan View Post
What are you trying to do, throw us into a wicked temporal Moebius loop that will implode the fabric of time and space? I wish you wouldn't do that!

Oh, wait, it's not my turn...

Okay, Granted. Fortunately for us, the Temporal Gods quickly step in and snip the Moebius loop, saving our collective a$$es.

Unfortunately for you... now that you fully and completely understand the American electoral system, together with an impact analysis of the profitability of the media, the nonsense, deceit, underhandedness, backstabbing, pandering and degradation inherent in both systems has caused you to slip your last gear, and now you are desperately seeking a bridge high enough to throw yourself off of.

And now...

I wish you wouldn't do that.
Granted. I am no longer looking for a bridge high enough to throw myself off, but am instead looking for a bridge high enough to throw you off for damaging my brain so much with the expanation and destroying my belief that the American Political system only attracts those of the highest possible moral, idealistic and self-sacrificing standards.

I now wish that I had forgotten to my wish on a previous post where I wished for a clear explanation of the Americal political and electoral system, together with an impact analysis of the profitability of the media.
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Old 09-25-2008, 09:39 AM   #258
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Originally Posted by LazyScot View Post
Granted. I am no longer looking for a bridge high enough to throw myself off, but am instead looking for a bridge high enough to throw you off for damaging my brain so much with the expanation and destroying my belief that the American Political system only attracts those of the highest possible moral, idealistic and self-sacrificing standards.

I now wish that I had forgotten to my wish on a previous post where I wished for a clear explanation of the Americal political and electoral system, together with an impact analysis of the profitability of the media.

Granted - Since you've forgotten your wish, you wish it over again, and again , and...

I wish the US Congress was in session only as long as the Texas Legislature...
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Old 09-25-2008, 10:16 AM   #259
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Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward View Post
Granted - Since you've forgotten your wish, you wish it over again, and again , and...

I wish the US Congress was in session only as long as the Texas Legislature...
Granted, but this time the Republicans hide out in Oklahoma.

I wish that I could have the day off without being sick.
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Old 09-25-2008, 12:10 PM   #260
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I wish that I could have the day off without being sick.
Granted, but around here, that's called an economic downturn...

I wish that was actually funny.
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Old 09-25-2008, 08:25 PM   #261
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Granted. You now think the joke is the funnest thing you've ever hear. As you're thrown into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, you're met with blank stares from all those nearby.

I wish I could afford a new lens for my camera.
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Old 09-25-2008, 08:49 PM   #262
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Originally Posted by Dylrob View Post
Granted. You now think the joke is the funnest thing you've ever hear. As you're thrown into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, you're met with blank stares from all those nearby.

I wish I could afford a new lens for my camera.
Granted, but it has such horrendous back-focussing issues that every picture you take with it is of the back of your head.

I wish I could afford a new camera for my lenses.

Cheers,
Marc
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Old 09-26-2008, 06:55 AM   #263
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Granted - but the film you use only produces on shade of gray pictures and the lens button is in the middle view finder.

I wish for a pint'o Harp beer and a double dram Ireland's finest whiskey.
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Old 09-26-2008, 07:17 AM   #264
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Originally Posted by radioflyertoo View Post
Granted - but the film you use only produces on shade of gray pictures and the lens button is in the middle view finder.

I wish for a pint'o Harp beer and a double dram Ireland's finest whiskey.
Granted, but you realize that you have sworn off drink the day before, hence you have no use for it.

I wish I could write really well!
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Old 09-26-2008, 08:44 AM   #265
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Originally Posted by Slite View Post
I wish I could write really well!
Granted. You can now write really well! In fact, all you can write is "really well!". Your correspondence, it must be said, suffers somewhat. (Fortunately you find you can still type....)

I wish I wasn't as scared of squirrels as I am...
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Old 09-26-2008, 08:48 AM   #266
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Originally Posted by LazyScot View Post
Granted. You can now write really well! In fact, all you can write is "really well!". Your correspondence, it must be said, suffers somewhat. (Fortunately you find you can still type....)

I wish I wasn't as scared of squirrels as I am...
Granted, you are no longer scared of squirrels, you are absolutley terrified of them, the mere thought of a squirrel now makes you loose control over your bowels.

I wish I had a bottle of whisky standing on my desk and were allowed to drink it during work!
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Old 09-26-2008, 09:05 AM   #267
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Granted, you are no longer scared of squirrels, you are absolutley terrified of them, the mere thought of a squirrel now makes you loose control over your bowels.
Hey, LazyScot. My friend wanted to say hello to you:



Quote:
I wish I had a bottle of whisky standing on my desk and were allowed to drink it during work!
Granted, but you get fired for drinking outside of work hours.

I wish I had a 12-foot long tentacle for a left arm.
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Old 09-26-2008, 09:13 AM   #268
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Hey, LazyScot. My friend wanted to say hello to you:





Granted, but you get fired for drinking outside of work hours.

I wish I had a 12-foot long tentacle for a left arm.
Granted, but due to the genies bad hearing, you now have 12 one foot long tentacles instead of your left arm.

I wish I could go home from work now, WITHOUT being fired
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Old 09-26-2008, 09:39 AM   #269
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I wish I had a bottle of whisky standing on my desk and were allowed to drink it during work!
Granted. You now have a 100-gallon bottle of whiskey on your desk. Enjoy that Vern's Bathtub Blend Bourbon while it lasts!

(edit: Oops! Looks like I'm behind)
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I wish I could go home from work now, WITHOUT being fired
Granted. Your office just closed permanently. Enjoy your year off.

I wish I owned all the oil wells in the U.S.
Last edited by Steven Lyle Jordan; 09-26-2008 at 09:42 AM.
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Old 09-26-2008, 09:46 AM   #270
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Granted. You now have a 100-gallon bottle of whiskey on your desk. Enjoy that Vern's Bathtub Blend Bourbon while it lasts!

(edit: Oops! Looks like I'm behind)


Granted. Your office just closed permanently. Enjoy your year off.

I wish I owned all the oil wells in the U.S.
Oh dude... that one is way to easy!

Granted, but they are all dry-wells, now you are stuck with a HUGE bill to close them all down and scrap the drill-rigs.

I wish I really did get a year off, with full pay of course.
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