The Vent and Rant Thread

[nohmi2]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Ahh, well, see, to really get full benefit from a rant, you need to upgrade the mumblegrumbles to spittle-flecked coherency through to foaming incoherency, or it's like applying a bandaid to that saucey fountain of red where your leg use to be before Mr Shark decided on a yummy drumstick for dinner.

I recall this one time that I had bought a book from Dymocks. I'm not sure why I'd gone to Dymocks - perhaps they were the nearest bookstore, and I was on my lunch hour. I know it wouldn't have been because of the excellent service or well-stocked shelves or pleasant staff or sensible store layout or, what most would consider a prerequisite of a bookstore, a basic ability to file things in alphabetical order, because, as I said, this was Dymocks. Imagine the government trying to run a retail establishment, and imagine that by "government" I mean "large shoal of krill" and by "run a retail establishment" I mean "perform brain surgery on an unsedated gibbon", and you are welcomed to the wonderful world of Dymocks.

Dymocks is that kind of bookstore. They're an Australian legacy, and that legacy leaves them as one of the few major bookselling chains in Australia.

Subsequently, considering their market-dominance, they care about as much for you as a truck cares for the fly whose arse just came through it's own head to hit the windscreen too.

They're the kind of store that places three million copies of a newly released second book in a series in a cardboard stand at the front that you need crampons, ropes and pitons to get past to get the rest of the way into the store that has not a single copy of the first book, but they "can order it in", by which they mean take your name and phone number and sell it to blackmarket organ-harvesters because they're never going to use it to ring you back, nor have the book in at any stage before the next ice age.

They're the kind of store that files "The Origin of Species" under "Science Fiction" ("coz, like, you know, he wrote Planet of the Apes, dint he?") and "W.H.Auden" under "Gay/Lesbian" ("Yeah, that really cool poem in 4 weddings and a funeral. I *so* cried in that movie").

They're the kind of store that rides the coat-tails of a large American book chain by announcing that they are "in negotiation" with a supplier to release an ebook reader device that "reads all formats of ebooks", and then doesn't deliver it at the release time they state, doesn't deliver it at a price point comparative with what you can obtain it direct, and plain doesn't deliver it when you order it (but that's another rant for another day).

They're the kind of bookstore that has a rewards program that operates on a 5% basis - spend $100; get $5 off your next book - while other bookstores reward you for just signing up to their email list with weekly 10, 20, 30 or 40% discounts on prices already less than Dymocks - except that by "operates" I mean "completely fails online" because "Oh, that's a different department, so it's not my fault" (that is, when you actually get someone to talk to you, since their phones remain unanswered, the messages you leave are left unreturned, and the emails you've sent to them apparently disappear up their own arsehats...but, again, another rant for another day).

They're the kind of store that lists over 240,000 items available at their online store, but you have to consider that when they say delivery is "4-6 weeks" they actually mean "Not in stock" and "We can't get it" and "What do you mean you want your money back?"...but, again, other rant, other day.

Dymocks is the kind of bookstore that has a shelf for every genre no matter how small the store, so you can find a book from any genre, except for the book you're actually looking for (you know, that "obscure" book that is a classic of the genre and still often week-to-week outsells every other book in the same genre...but, hey, they've got the latest book adaptation of some craptacular movie currently playing to feeling-ripped-off audiences at all the cinemas).

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yes, I'd bought this book from Dymocks (clearly in a fit of book-crazed madness). I should have known something was wrong when I walked into the store and found the actual book I was looking for filed alphabetically on the appropriate shelf. Clearly, the Elder Gods were playing with my mind that day. Now, this book - a "photographic" book - was purely pictorial - a book full (no text) of "arty" black and white photos of body piercings (Some folks may know it - it has the large "sleeper" on the front and a textured black cover). All fine so far...until I get it home...

Browsing the book later on, I notice their security device "sticker" is plastered, mid-book, directly in the middle of one of the pictures. Now, those familiar with buying books dedicated to pictures would know what this is like. It's like reading a novel and finding the last 20 pages missing.

Naturally, it must be returned.

So, back to Dymocks I go, Elder Gods laughing away merrily in my head.

I go to the counter to be served by the manager, who from previous experience, and for the sake of both her anonymity and as a helpful description, I shall call Miss Ery. Now, Miss Ery does not like company. I believe that to her "service" is something she'd like to do to you with a taser, and I, knowing this, naturally provide her with the most pleasant demeanour possible (but secretly knowing it's like a cheesegrater-to-a-nipple to her).

Me: I'm sorry, I bought this book yesterday, but it has a sticker over one of the pictures that won't come off

Miss Ery: And...?

Me: Well, As it is a picture book, I would like a replacement that doesn't have that sticker

Miss Ery: Why haven't you tried to remove the sticker?

Me: I know, from experience, that the sticker is not removable

Miss Ery: If you've tried to remove the sticker, we can't replace the book, as you have damaged it

Me: Dear sweet thing - pedal back a couple of lines with that furrowed brow above those cesspit eyes and you will note that I just said I didn't try to remove the sticker

...is what I would like to say, but at this stage she has the upper hand, and so...

Me: Yes, I can understand that, so I didn't try to remove it

Miss Ery: Give it here

Me: Say please [okay, no, I didn't say that. I said] Here you go.

Miss Ery: It's only on one picture.

Me: Yes

Miss Ery: And you want to make us pay for one picture

Me: No, I would like a replacement

Miss Ery: But it's only one picture. I don't see why we should have to take back a book with a sticker in it and replace it with a perfectly good book because of one picture

Now, at this point, her own contradiction is obvious, yes? I should accept it, because it's only one picture, but she won't accept it, because it's not "perfectly good". Miss Ery's furrowed brows are now looking Marianas Trench-like, and a sneer has formed.

Me: Yes

Miss Ery: You think that's reasonable, do you?

Me: Yes

'Tis a simple word, "yes", isn't it? In definition, the word "positive" is often used. However, me being someone who is willing to use reason and cheerfulness pragmatically and to full effect and benefit to myself in such times should not give you reason to believe that my arsenal is about karmic peacefulness in the face of adversity, nor that I have a bending point rather than a breaking point. At this stage, you can picture my above "Yes" to be associated with my own furrowed brows, a canine-sparkling sneer that tastes blood, eyes driving stakes through her dead heart, and an absolute promise in my tone that the full-and-total weight of all reason, law, unemployment and bad publicity will descend on her contempt like a tonne of paper cuts should this continue down this line.

Miss Ery: It's a security sticker. We have to protect our books

...she says, with a look at my shaved head and multiple piercings that suggests that I stole both book and provided receipt.

Me: ...and, to protect this one, you have wrecked it. Seems like a loss to you either way.

Miss Ery: It's not wrecked

Me: Then why the problem taking it back?

Miss Ery: You customers just don't understand the problem.

Yeah, that's right. She actually said that. You see, this is what I don't like about Dymocks. They are incompetent, rude troglodytes who hate their customers as an inconvenience and only stay in bookselling because they've discovered, while grunting at each other around their campfires and having relations on wombat-pelts with their own siblings and drawing pictures of genitalia on the cave walls with their own faeces, that instead of burning the books for heating they could sell them to these inconvenient folk making all the funny noises out of their eat-holes in exchange for bits of paper they could then exchange to invest in more "book-caves" and "security stickers" to stop the inconveniences from taking all their fire-starters.

Me: Are you going to exchange it, or do things go badly downhill from here?

Miss Ery: [snippy] I'm looking in the computer now....we have two others in stock, so you're lucky

Me: ???

Miss Ery: Otherwise we'd have to order it in, which could take 4-6 weeks

Me: Thanks, but you would just have to refund me

Miss Ery: [walking to shelf nearby] They should be here...

Miss Ery: See? That's what I told you? There's only one here. The other's obviously been stolen.

(Let's put aside previous experience with their non-existent stock control)

Miss Ery: That is why we put the stickers in the book

Me: If that's the case, then how come the book is missing?

Miss Ery: I told you, it's been stolen

Me: With one of those stickers in it?

Miss Ery: ...

Miss Ery: ...

Miss Ery: You can have this last one [tosses book at me]

Me: Thank-you

Miss Ery: [annoyed noise]

Me: By the way, you are the most miserable sack of dripping effluent I have ever had dribbling its half-witted, grunt-sullen, obstreperous, feebleminded vomit of misery and slack-jawed drooling idiocy on my shoes in my entire life, and I hope the afternoon finds you stabbing and pulling on a rusty fishing gaff trying to claw out the bug that has obviously crawled up your laze-fattened arse. You are a credit to the depressingly useless realm of unprofessialism, ignorance, blind stupidity and groundless arrogance that calls itself the "Dymocks Book Chain". I hope a plague of brain-eating roaches swarms through your next Annual General Meeting and eats through your spinal cords, ravenously trying to find some semblance of sentient flesh.

...is what, of course, I did not say.

Dymocks, to me, are simply a pack of arsehats. The only consequence I can see when, should my sacrifices of entertainment lawyers and small lumps of fungus to the Elder Gods be noticed, they collapse into a fading stench of rank arrogance and stale obnoxiousness, will be that perhaps people who like books, want to sell books, and want to be nice while selling books to nice customers (I'm looking at you Borders Australia - Dymocks is a warning you have thus far heeded) will fill their spot.

In the meantime, remember, Dymocks aren't evil; they just suck harder than Paris Hilton in a post-game football locker room.



See, that's a rant. I feel somewhat better now.

Cheers,
Marc

How I wish that I was able to have as good a rant and rave as you do. All I do is go on the boil and think cruel and nasty thoughts.
My latest is, ebooks which we are not allowed to have in the Land of Oz.
Has censorship struck us???
I have 'Rubicon' by Tom Holland in a pbook and also wanted it on my Kindle. In my ignorance went to Mobipocket, put it in my cart, went to pay, and a notice came up and told me that it's unavailable in Australia. Why? Why?
Why?
@#%#* (twice)

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by nohmi2

How I wish that I was able to have as good a rant and rave as you do. All I do is go on the boil and think cruel and nasty thoughts.

Well, that's okay. Thinking all of the nasty things to do to people who have grossly wronged you is like, well, ranting on the inside. Good show!

My latest is, ebooks which we are not allowed to have in the Land of Oz.
Has censorship struck us???

I have 'Rubicon' by Tom Holland in a pbook and also wanted it on my Kindle. In my ignorance went to Mobipocket, put it in my cart, went to pay, and a notice came up and told me that it's unavailable in Australia. Why? Why?
Why?
@#%#* (twice)

I've not heard of that problem before, though I don't buy many ebooks that often (I've mostly downloaded "public domain" stuff). So, are you saying, if I go to Mobipocket.com and try to buy that book it's tell me to bugger off? Have you tried Fictionwise and Booksonboard? I'll go have a look at those two in a moment.

I suspect it's something to do with the publishing agreement. That is, I think the way it goes (someone will be along to correct me, I'm sure) is that the author sells the publisher the rights to distribute the books in specific countries/regions (or is it the publisher selling the rights to the retailer?). Thus, if the retailer tries to sell it outside of that region, they're outside of that agreement. I could be wrong though. I can't remember entering my "region" in to Mobipocket or Fictionwise or Booksonboard, so I don't know how they tell where you're from (maybe I did).

Anyway, I'll go have a look. Back in a jiff.

Cheers,
Marc
PS. None of this in anyway reduces the validity of your internal rant - in the end, you wanted to give money to a bookseller and, indirectly, the author, and you were given the response "We don't want your money". That'd be enough to have me rousing the angry masses with a call to set their torches on fire and grab their pitchforks and storm the ramparts of the paper castles.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

...
Anyway, I'll go have a look. Back in a jiff.

Okay, Fictionwise doesn't seem to have it, but BooksonBoard did, and up to a certain point (I didn't go all the way through the checkout process), there didn't seem to be anything stopping me from buying it:

http://www.booksonboard.com/index.ph...ok&BOOK=197435

I was logged in at the time, so while doing this BooksonBoard knew I was an Australian. Where they only do the checking further along the checkout process, I don't know. I am also completely unfamilar with the mobipocket format/Kindle compatibility process, so I'm not sure if this is workable for you.

Note that Fictionwise and BooksonBoard are both recommended ebook sellers (I've purchased from Fictionwise, so I can vouch for them at least, but others here have provided similar opinion of BooksonBoard).

Cheers,
Marc

[nohmi2]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Okay, Fictionwise doesn't seem to have it, but BooksonBoard did, and up to a certain point (I didn't go all the way through the checkout process), there didn't seem to be anything stopping me from buying it:

http://www.booksonboard.com/index.ph...ok&BOOK=197435

I was logged in at the time, so while doing this BooksonBoard knew I was an Australian. Where they only do the checking further along the checkout process, I don't know. I am also completely unfamilar with the mobipocket format/Kindle compatibility process, so I'm not sure if this is workable for you.

Note that Fictionwise and BooksonBoard are both recommended ebook sellers (I've purchased from Fictionwise, so I can vouch for them at least, but others here have provided similar opinion of BooksonBoard).

Cheers,
Marc

I have joined BooksonBoard, bought Rubicon, downloaded it, and will format for the Kindle.

Was Noosa affected by the storm? Down our way the thunder was terrific, and the Gods were really bowling.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by nohmi2

I have joined BooksonBoard, bought Rubicon, downloaded it, and will format for the Kindle.

Excellent! I was hopeful, but I didn't know enough about the Kindle manipulation, as little as there may be, to be fully confident.

Was Noosa affected by the storm? Down our way the thunder was terrific, and the Gods were really bowling.

No, we're not even getting the rain. It keeps wandering up from the south-east, and the BoM's warning zones sometimes sneak up this far, but on their Gympie radar I can watch it just fade out over the hinterland. I've also been watching them on the much-better Brisbane radar, and you can tell it's bad when the colours are all the way over into the black.

It's one thing I really love (any destruction aside, of course) having moved to Queensland from Sydney only last year - the quantity of boom-crash-opera storms in summer (that, and that summer starts in September ).

Cheers,
Marc

[RickyMaveety]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Excellent! I was hopeful, but I didn't know enough about the Kindle manipulation, as little as there may be, to be fully confident.



No, we're not even getting the rain. It keeps wandering up from the south-east, and the BoM's warning zones sometimes sneak up this far, but on their Gympie radar I can watch it just fade out over the hinterland. I've also been watching them on the much-better Brisbane radar, and you can tell it's bad when the colours are all the way over into the black.

It's one thing I really love (any destruction aside, of course) having moved to Queensland from Sydney only last year - the quantity of boom-crash-opera storms in summer (that, and that summer starts in September ).

Cheers,
Marc

That's pretty much one of the few things I really love about living in Texas ... the lightning storms. We used to have a lot when I was growing up in the desert, but when we moved to San Diego ... nothing, nada, zip. I never realized how much I missed them until we had a few corkers here.

Are you in the path of, or near the path of, a particular typhoon??

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by RickyMaveety

...

Are you in the path of, or near the path of, a particular typhoon??

No, but we get lots of "summer storms" (yeah, I know, it's spring - seasons are relative ) of a particularly strong variety at times. These ones have been sweeping up from inland, from the south-east, and are very compact with heavy rain, thunder, lightning, gusty wind, and, the bit the warnings point out, hail. Like I say though, they're very localised, in that the "black" bit on the radar might only cover a small area of a few kilometers as it sweep up (with strong but lesser effects diminishing out relatively quickly), but there can be quite a few centres, such that the radar looks like a rainbow-dalmation.

Last year at this time, from our balcony which looks south through west to north-west, we could watch huge lightning and thunder storms sweeping past, several in different areas, and yet not get a spot on top of us. The light show was long-lasting and spectacular. Down at Noosaville and Tewantin, which we can see from the balcony only a couple-to-a-few kilometers away, they'd get bucketted on. Other times, the reverse would occur - we'd get dumped a couple-or-so inches in an hour, and the Tewantin observations would show no rain fell there.

In summer, tropical lows can develop a few hundred kilometers of the coast, threatening to develop into tropical cyclones (though tropical cyclones mostly pass up the top of Australia - this far down the Queensland coast it's a very rare event, at least from vague memory of BoM statistics). They drive heavy rain and seas into the coast (rain didn't stop for about two weeks at Christmas, and the seas on Main Beach were up at about 9', which is very unusual for Main Beach, which is sheltered by headland and faces predominantly north). I think that's what happened in August last year, just before we got here (or perhaps it was a trough come down from the Gulf of Carpentaria) - they got something like 600-700mm of rain (23.5-27.5") in a 24 hour period in this area. When stuff like that happens, it also scours the beaches. In this gallery there are some photos of the results from one day's worth of wave-work by such a system (unexpected, considering the time of the year):

http://www.parknmeter.com/gallery/ma...?g2_itemId=106
http://www.parknmeter.com/gallery/ma...?g2_itemId=108
http://www.parknmeter.com/gallery/ma...?g2_itemId=114

24 hours before those photos, the beach started from the boardwalk just behind that red-orange protection netting you can probably barely see, sloping gently about 50yards down to the usually 2-3' waves waves.

So, tropical cyclones in our particular area are exceedingly rare (I think they talk in decades or centuries - I really should look it up), but there are tropical depressions more often which can bring strong dangerous winds and wild weather (if not "hurricane-force"). I recall them happening a few times when we lived in south-east Queensland in my early teens - hide inside away from windows, then go look at all the ripped-up trees afterwards.

Which belies the fact that it's mostly beautiful. 21C/70F average during mid-winter is not bad, and the summers (starting in spring) are as close to being "tropical" (30C/86F and 80+% humidity) as makes little difference (though it gets proper tropical and "monsoonal" as you get much further up the state's coast).

In other words, the big sturm und drang storms usually have little drang attached to them - they're just...well, fun.

Cheers,
Marc

[RickyMaveety]

Yow ... it looks like the beach got sort of washed away. I've seen that happen in California several times.

We also have some insanely localized storms. I have actually had the Moons call me and ask how the "storm" was at my house, because they got pummeled for half an hour ... and I won't have seen a drop at my house. They are maybe a five minute walk away??

But then ... I guess every storm has to have an edge to it. Somewhere it begins and ends.

I do remember driving from El Paso, Texas to Van Horn, Texas ... maybe 120 miles with little or no change in altitude. About twenty miles outside of El Paso, the temperature very suddenly dropped 60 degrees (from 100 to 40), and the wind started howling, and the rain just pouring down.

I was driving my van, and thought I would just muscle it through to Fort Stockton, but I just plain gave up when a gust of wind hit the side of the van so hard that it pushed it up on two wheels. And, there I went, down the road, 55 miles an hour at a 45 degree angle ... just wondering what the hell I was supposed to do.

And, when the van came back down on all four tires .... I pulled off the road (at Van Horn) and got a room. Anything to get off the road. Of course, they doubled the room rates, and there was no electricity, so I spent most of the time in the van anyway with the generator going ... but at least I was standing still and reasonably level.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by RickyMaveety

...
I was driving my van, and thought I would just muscle it through to Fort Stockton, but I just plain gave up when a gust of wind hit the side of the van so hard that it pushed it up on two wheels. And, there I went, down the road, 55 miles an hour at a 45 degree angle ... just wondering what the hell I was supposed to do.

Well, I'm no stunt-driver, nor a meteorologist, but if my experience watching 80's television has any worth, you "Cut the jibba jabba, fool!", blow something up, handbrake the van into parking spot, and exclaim "I love it when a plan comes together!".

In fact, the imagery gels very nicely with how I picture you in my mind (no, I don't think you look like either B.A. or George Peppard - it's just the vibe), and I choose to assume that that's what you actually did.

... but at least I was standing still and reasonably level.

So, unlike some of the parties you attend then.

Cheers,
Marc

[nohmi2]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Excellent! I was hopeful, but I didn't know enough about the Kindle manipulation, as little as there may be, to be fully confident.



No, we're not even getting the rain. It keeps wandering up from the south-east, and the BoM's warning zones sometimes sneak up this far, but on their Gympie radar I can watch it just fade out over the hinterland. I've also been watching them on the much-better Brisbane radar, and you can tell it's bad when the colours are all the way over into the black.

It's one thing I really love (any destruction aside, of course) having moved to Queensland from Sydney only last year - the quantity of boom-crash-opera storms in summer (that, and that summer starts in September ).

Cheers,
Marc

Yikes! They have predicted another night of 'Donner und Blitzen' for the South East again. I'll be calming my dog down, and my hubby will be calming me down. I'm an orthodox coward!
Converted 'Rubicon' and it's now happily residing in my Kindle.
That's my silver lining for today.
Keep well.

[zelda_pinwheel]

AAAAAAAAAAAAARG !!!!! STUPID FARKING LG PHONE !!!! whose brilliant idea was it NOT to make the phone show up as a flash drive when you connect it via usb cable ??? for that ALONE the entire dev team should be fired. and that idiotic, poorly designed "content manager" which FAILS to manage anything because 19 times out of 20 it can't even connect to the farking phone !!!!! arg !!!!! why ???? and to add insult to injury, where is the memory card slot ? inside the phone, UNDERNEATH THE BATTERY. so to take it out you have to turn off the phone, take off the back, take out the battery, take out the card, read it using a separate card reader with an adaptor, the reassemble the whole bloody thing, turn the phone back on, what the fark was my pin number again, oh look 2 missed calls...

instead of just plug the cable, double-click the repertory, slide the photos you want to the hard drive, eject usb device, done. like you can do with a sony-ericsson phone, for instance, and probably ANY PHONE DESIGNED BY A TEAM WITH MORE THAN TWO FUNCTIONING NEURONS BETWEEN THE LOT OF THEM.

this is what happens when you do not research the phone models before letting the phone guy talk you into a model you had not planned on !!!!!!

ARG !!!!

[nrapallo]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

this is what happens when you do not research the phone models before letting the phone guy talk you into a model you had not planned on !!!!!!

ARG !!!!

But was he cute? While you were letting him talk you into it...

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by nrapallo

But was he cute? While you were letting him talk you into it...

NOT EVEN CUTE !!!!!!

and completely dishonest, the bastard, as it happens... it took me four months to undo all the damage he did to my contract.

but i'm taking it as a lesson : from now on (like every previous time...) i do all my research and i purchase online.

it was just one of those extraordinary circumstances where you do something you would never do, ordinarily. and will NEVER DO AGAIN.

[slayda]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

AAAAAAAAAAAAARG !!!!! STUPID FARKING LG PHONE !!!! whose brilliant idea was it NOT to make the phone show up as a flash drive when you connect it via usb cable ??? for that ALONE the entire dev team should be fired. and that idiotic, poorly designed "content manager" which FAILS to manage anything because 19 times out of 20 it can't even connect to the farking phone !!!!! arg !!!!! why ???? and to add insult to injury, where is the memory card slot ? inside the phone, UNDERNEATH THE BATTERY. so to take it out you have to turn off the phone, take off the back, take out the battery, take out the card, read it using a separate card reader with an adaptor, the reassemble the whole bloody thing, turn the phone back on, what the fark was my pin number again, oh look 2 missed calls...

instead of just plug the cable, double-click the repertory, slide the photos you want to the hard drive, eject usb device, done. like you can do with a sony-ericsson phone, for instance, and probably ANY PHONE DESIGNED BY A TEAM WITH MORE THAN TWO FUNCTIONING NEURONS BETWEEN THE LOT OF THEM.

this is what happens when you do not research the phone models before letting the phone guy talk you into a model you had not planned on !!!!!!

ARG !!!!

So that's how you get the pictures from the phone to the computer. I had already tried everything else. Thanks, ZP.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by slayda

So that's how you get the pictures from the phone to the computer. I had already tried everything else. Thanks, ZP.

which step precisely were you missing ? the swearing ? i suspect that swearing is key. i have never managed to transfer the photos without copious swearing.