Silliness FLS - Page 3

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 02:30 PM

Lieutentant Biggles wandered around aimlessly near the aerodrome. What happened to his office? He was pretty sure that he had had one once upon a time...

Seeing the sopwith Llamas grazing in the pasture, he brightened. A new batch of camelids! Brilliant! They would all need naming! He straightened up and marched resolutely toward the pens.

Seeing him coming, NekoChan groaned inwardly. She tore up the flight roster (again) and took out her pencil. This was getting ridicluous! She told Alf three times yesterday to keep the daft old bugger in his office! How was she to keep the flight rota up todate if he kept re-naming all the llamas on a daily basis?

DixieGal · 08-20-2008, 02:35 PM

The One on the Other Side of the Fish saw NekoChan going to meet Biggles and thought to itself, "I sure as heck hope he renames me today."

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 02:41 PM

Sergeant Alf, seeing the figure of the Squadron CO stalking the hapless NekoChan, grabbed a handful of papers needing urgent signature and ran into Biggles' office. "Sir! The TPS reports need -- oh! My! So sorry to interruptus, I mean interrupt you Colonel! Didn't know you were on the babe! Base! I'll just be going, now!"

Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! Skittle!

SLAM!

Taylor514ce · 08-20-2008, 02:45 PM

[ok ok, says the director... we've got llamas in the air, with the new guy and PlanetHead aka Marvin from HGG riding them, neko in the stable with llamas in the yard... Biggles and Jiggles and Seedy... wait. What happened to Barbados? Screw it... where's Lazy Scot when you need him... alright, let's take this from Page 25]

While the llamas frolicked in the warm tropical sea, Queen Zee drowsily murmured "Another daiquiri, PH, please, dear."

"But I promised Biggles a dispatch."

"Make the New Guy do it. We have spoken."

The New Guy, who's name is actually Yoshi, was lost in a day dream of frolicking llamas, recalling the days back on the farm....

[cut scene, flashback NOW]

DixieGal · 08-20-2008, 03:00 PM

[cut scene, flashback NOW][/QUOTE]

(Sound of that wavy music that signifies a flashback occurring...)

"I'm so lucky to be me! Here in this beautiful pasture full of wildflowers, just me and Bob, my llama," mused Yoshi as he gazed lovingly at the llama who would some day be called the One on the Other Side of the Fish.

"Come, Bob, let us frolic!", he called as he skittled through the meadow.

Later, sharing a cigarette and discussing the movie about a broken back and a mountain, Yoshi and Bob rested under the dappled shade of the old apple tree.

(Wavy flash to present music)

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 03:19 PM

Deep in the heart of Tor.Com, Evil Incarnate Eic looks up from his Guttenberg Bible and proclaims, "They're having way too much fun there on MobileRead! Loose the hounds!"

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 03:24 PM

DixieGal · 08-20-2008, 03:29 PM

Aside: Lose the hounds? What the heck is he talking about? We didn't lose them, they are right here.

Now back to our story...

DixieGal · 08-20-2008, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Deep in the heart of Tor.Com, Evil Incarnate Eic looks up from his Guttenberg Bible and proclaims, "They're having way too much fun there on MobileRead! Loose the hounds!"

Scuffy and Gruffy, the two elderly basset hounds, looked at each other as if to say, "We aren't lost."

Meanwhile, back in the sky, NG and R-LC .....

nekokami · 08-20-2008, 08:04 PM

Hey, are these the same llamas we liberated from the plot in last week's episode?

montsnmags · 08-20-2008, 11:00 PM

Lieutenant Biggles sat at his desk, rubbing his temples. A knock, and NekoChan wandered in with a silver platter decorated with "Tea and a scone, sir?".

"Oh, yes, that'll do nicely".

For some reason, the tea tingled the roof of his mouth, and had about it a hint of rose petals and citrus with a streak of vanilla, simultaneously tasting ""almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea". The scone was good, with proper, fresh cream and nice chunky llamaberry jam ("What's a llamaberry?" momentarily shot through his forebrain, but was tingled into the background by another slurp of this quite delightful "tea").

"Send in the New Guy!"

For a moment Biggles saw the new recruit as a hazel-eyed fat lady in a bustle looking mightily callipygous, but it was just a trick of the rainbow lights flashing from his own pupils, and as the new recruit straightened from his efforts at laying a trail of bananas into Biggles' office, the salacious fantasy crumbled into crumbs that looked like the crumbs on his plate.

"NekoChan! More scones!"

"So," he said looking over the New Guy, "name?".

A look of terrified whimsy (or was it whimsical terror?) shot through the new guy's startlingly blue eyes quicker than you can say,

"Adrian, SAH!...No, sorry, that's...Marc, SAH! Adrian's the new guy, him on the left, next to the fish, SAH! What? SAH?!"

"Now, calm down, New Guy, this is not an interrogation. Please, sit. Neko-Chan will strap you in, and adjust the lamp. Right, first order of business...my, you've eyes the silver of a razor's edge...umm, what, where were we?"

"Permission to speak, SAH?!", battering his beer-brown eyes with deep-fryer abandon.

"Not granted", said Biggles, "NekoChan, poke him with my stick, will you?"

NekoChan rolled here mauve eyes, put the platter of scones down and poked the NewGuy with Biggles' Poking Stick. The New Guy looked perplexed. NekoChan, again rolling her saffron eyes, handed the Poking Stick to Biggles and left briefly to get more tea and scones.

"Ophhkay, nowff fu mayff sffffeaK", said Biggles in a arc of scone-crumbs.

"Whats?" said NekoChan and the New Guy simultaneously.

"Speak, my dear boy!"

"Oh, yes, SAH! I bring this new recruit to you", pointing at the empty space to his left, in front of the banana on the desk.

"Ahh, you must be Adrian", said Biggles, and shook hands with, to NekoChan's red-rose eyes, the empty air space in front of the banana skin on the desk. "I've been looking forward to meeting you. I understand that you are invisible, a gibbon, and inadvertently violent. You are just the primate I have been looking for to lead my new Banana Death From The Skies Squadron. I assume this 'Marc' fellow is your handler".

"No, we're just good friends", said Marc, and for his troubles got a couple of jabs in his lazy hazel eye with Biggles' Poking Stick.

"Unstrap the Handler, NekoChan. Have him show Adrian to his private quarters, and give Adrian his Captain's uniform. You may have to get the tailor to make some adjustments. Get the Handler some uniform underpants to wear on his head, and a nice set of sunglasses to compliment his piercing green eyes".

"Thank you, SAH!"

"Shut up, Handler. If I want to hear from you I'll poke you with my Stick".

"Yes, SAH! Thank-you, SAH!", he said through the tears in his alabaster eyes. Maybe it was the emotional gratitude of full military acceptance and a proud post that even gave him some uniform underpants to wear on his head, or maybe it was the torn cornea from the optical poking he was currently getting from the smiling and satisfied Biggles, but it was a happy day for the New Guy, now known as The Handler.

Captain Adrian sat in the corner on top of the credenza, scratching himself and flinging the occasional pellet of faeces at the overhead fan, until NekoChan grabbed his hand from across the room (Captain Adrian had the kind of reach spider monkeys admired from afar), and, with grey-sky-eyed Handler in tow, they all defenestrated to the Captain's new quarters high in limbs of the Airforce Base's requisite Bodhi Tree.

Biggles sat warmly in a hallucinogenic haze. "Mmm, these llamaberries go straight to my neocortex. Why if it wasn't for the silliness-transcendent visions of scent-installed sinners in my hindbrain balancing out the whole 'I can see through time' reality shock in my forebrain, I'd probably be screaming into the black vacuum between the stars right now, but instead I'm sitting here urinating relaxedly into my commode office chair and thinking about my forthcoming triumph", said Biggles in a monologue that would have been a soliloquy if the shiny, white robot leaning against the wall and shaking his head hadn't suddenty looked up, drawn from his reverie on ways to slow-cook South American camelids to say...

"What?"

GeoffC · 08-21-2008, 01:42 AM

The Raider's Lament

AVAILABILITY: In Stock.
Product Number: 54697981
Tell a friend about this product!
by Joseph Jaquinta
Genre: Science Fiction
Paperback: 167 pages

Description: A rolicking jaunt from spaceport to spaceport chasing the lost treasure of a distant world.

Synopsis:

The reunited crew of The Raider's Lament take to the spacelanes looking for work. They get more than they bargined for when they take a contract from a mysterious woman from an outback world.

Product Details:

· Paperback: 167 pages
· Binding: Perfect
· Publisher: Sopwith Llama Publishing (April 2006)
· Product Number: 54697981

pshrynk · 08-21-2008, 09:05 AM

Nice to see Geoff barging in on the profits before the plot line is even fully developed.

New guy and Robot Looking Chap glanced up from their slumbers on the beach chairs. R-L C's glance being from the sumptuous and comfy lap of Her Majesty, right at that moment.

"Did you hear that?" aske New Guy.

"What? The wheezing snuffles of a couple elderly and somewhat incontinent Basset Hounds, or the pedantic slapping of an Invisible Gibbon against the head of his handler?"

"Wow, your ears are pretty goo to hear that going on all the way across an ocean. No, I meant the lack of constant rumination and spitting. I think The Blue One and The Fish are missing."

"We should probably become concerned about that at some point in the future." R-L C dropped his head back into the lap of luxury with a contented sigh.

"Probably. Good thing I off-loaded the espresso maker we pinched from Biggles' office before letting them run on the beach. Cuppa?"

GeoffC · 08-21-2008, 09:14 AM

Knock-knock...

pshrynk · 08-21-2008, 09:20 AM

Lieutenant Biggles looked up annoyedly from his TPS reports and barked out, "Whose their?"

08-20-2008, 03:00 PM	#35
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	[cut scene, flashback NOW][/QUOTE] (Sound of that wavy music that signifies a flashback occurring...) "I'm so lucky to be me! Here in this beautiful pasture full of wildflowers, just me and Bob, my llama," mused Yoshi as he gazed lovingly at the llama who would some day be called the One on the Other Side of the Fish. "Come, Bob, let us frolic!", he called as he skittled through the meadow. Later, sharing a cigarette and discussing the movie about a broken back and a mountain, Yoshi and Bob rested under the dappled shade of the old apple tree. (Wavy flash to present music) Last edited by DixieGal; 08-20-2008 at 03:02 PM. Reason: I called the llama Jeff instead of Bob

08-20-2008, 11:00 PM	#41
montsnmags Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,155 Karma: 4632658 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: none	Lieutenant Biggles sat at his desk, rubbing his temples. A knock, and NekoChan wandered in with a silver platter decorated with "Tea and a scone, sir?". "Oh, yes, that'll do nicely". For some reason, the tea tingled the roof of his mouth, and had about it a hint of rose petals and citrus with a streak of vanilla, simultaneously tasting ""almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea". The scone was good, with proper, fresh cream and nice chunky llamaberry jam ("What's a llamaberry?" momentarily shot through his forebrain, but was tingled into the background by another slurp of this quite delightful "tea"). "Send in the New Guy!" For a moment Biggles saw the new recruit as a hazel-eyed fat lady in a bustle looking mightily callipygous, but it was just a trick of the rainbow lights flashing from his own pupils, and as the new recruit straightened from his efforts at laying a trail of bananas into Biggles' office, the salacious fantasy crumbled into crumbs that looked like the crumbs on his plate. "NekoChan! More scones!" "So," he said looking over the New Guy, "name?". A look of terrified whimsy (or was it whimsical terror?) shot through the new guy's startlingly blue eyes quicker than you can say, "Adrian, SAH!...No, sorry, that's...Marc, SAH! Adrian's the new guy, him on the left, next to the fish, SAH! What? SAH?!" "Now, calm down, New Guy, this is not an interrogation. Please, sit. Neko-Chan will strap you in, and adjust the lamp. Right, first order of business...my, you've eyes the silver of a razor's edge...umm, what, where were we?" "Permission to speak, SAH?!", battering his beer-brown eyes with deep-fryer abandon. "Not granted", said Biggles, "NekoChan, poke him with my stick, will you?" NekoChan rolled here mauve eyes, put the platter of scones down and poked the NewGuy with Biggles' Poking Stick. The New Guy looked perplexed. NekoChan, again rolling her saffron eyes, handed the Poking Stick to Biggles and left briefly to get more tea and scones. "Ophhkay, nowff fu mayff sffffeaK", said Biggles in a arc of scone-crumbs. "Whats?" said NekoChan and the New Guy simultaneously. "Speak, my dear boy!" "Oh, yes, SAH! I bring this new recruit to you", pointing at the empty space to his left, in front of the banana on the desk. "Ahh, you must be Adrian", said Biggles, and shook hands with, to NekoChan's red-rose eyes, the empty air space in front of the banana skin on the desk. "I've been looking forward to meeting you. I understand that you are invisible, a gibbon, and inadvertently violent. You are just the primate I have been looking for to lead my new Banana Death From The Skies Squadron. I assume this 'Marc' fellow is your handler". "No, we're just good friends", said Marc, and for his troubles got a couple of jabs in his lazy hazel eye with Biggles' Poking Stick. "Unstrap the Handler, NekoChan. Have him show Adrian to his private quarters, and give Adrian his Captain's uniform. You may have to get the tailor to make some adjustments. Get the Handler some uniform underpants to wear on his head, and a nice set of sunglasses to compliment his piercing green eyes". "Thank you, SAH!" "Shut up, Handler. If I want to hear from you I'll poke you with my Stick". "Yes, SAH! Thank-you, SAH!", he said through the tears in his alabaster eyes. Maybe it was the emotional gratitude of full military acceptance and a proud post that even gave him some uniform underpants to wear on his head, or maybe it was the torn cornea from the optical poking he was currently getting from the smiling and satisfied Biggles, but it was a happy day for the New Guy, now known as The Handler. Captain Adrian sat in the corner on top of the credenza, scratching himself and flinging the occasional pellet of faeces at the overhead fan, until NekoChan grabbed his hand from across the room (Captain Adrian had the kind of reach spider monkeys admired from afar), and, with grey-sky-eyed Handler in tow, they all defenestrated to the Captain's new quarters high in limbs of the Airforce Base's requisite Bodhi Tree. Biggles sat warmly in a hallucinogenic haze. "Mmm, these llamaberries go straight to my neocortex. Why if it wasn't for the silliness-transcendent visions of scent-installed sinners in my hindbrain balancing out the whole 'I can see through time' reality shock in my forebrain, I'd probably be screaming into the black vacuum between the stars right now, but instead I'm sitting here urinating relaxedly into my commode office chair and thinking about my forthcoming triumph", said Biggles in a monologue that would have been a soliloquy if the shiny, white robot leaning against the wall and shaking his head hadn't suddenty looked up, drawn from his reverie on ways to slow-cook South American camelids to say... "What?" Last edited by montsnmags; 08-21-2008 at 02:07 AM.

08-20-2008, 02:30 PM	#31
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Lieutentant Biggles wandered around aimlessly near the aerodrome. What happened to his office? He was pretty sure that he had had one once upon a time... Seeing the sopwith Llamas grazing in the pasture, he brightened. A new batch of camelids! Brilliant! They would all need naming! He straightened up and marched resolutely toward the pens. Seeing him coming, NekoChan groaned inwardly. She tore up the flight roster (again) and took out her pencil. This was getting ridicluous! She told Alf three times yesterday to keep the daft old bugger in his office! How was she to keep the flight rota up todate if he kept re-naming all the llamas on a daily basis?

08-20-2008, 02:35 PM	#32
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	The One on the Other Side of the Fish saw NekoChan going to meet Biggles and thought to itself, "I sure as heck hope he renames me today."

08-20-2008, 02:41 PM	#33
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Sergeant Alf, seeing the figure of the Squadron CO stalking the hapless NekoChan, grabbed a handful of papers needing urgent signature and ran into Biggles' office. "Sir! The TPS reports need -- oh! My! So sorry to interruptus, I mean interrupt you Colonel! Didn't know you were on the babe! Base! I'll just be going, now!" Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! Skittle! SLAM!

08-20-2008, 02:45 PM	#34
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	[ok ok, says the director... we've got llamas in the air, with the new guy and PlanetHead aka Marvin from HGG riding them, neko in the stable with llamas in the yard... Biggles and Jiggles and Seedy... wait. What happened to Barbados? Screw it... where's Lazy Scot when you need him... alright, let's take this from Page 25] While the llamas frolicked in the warm tropical sea, Queen Zee drowsily murmured "Another daiquiri, PH, please, dear." "But I promised Biggles a dispatch." "Make the New Guy do it. We have spoken." The New Guy, who's name is actually Yoshi, was lost in a day dream of frolicking llamas, recalling the days back on the farm.... [cut scene, flashback NOW]

08-20-2008, 03:19 PM	#36
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Deep in the heart of Tor.Com, Evil Incarnate Eic looks up from his Guttenberg Bible and proclaims, "They're having way too much fun there on MobileRead! Loose the hounds!"

08-20-2008, 03:24 PM	#37
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!

08-20-2008, 03:29 PM	#38
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	Aside: Lose the hounds? What the heck is he talking about? We didn't lose them, they are right here. Now back to our story...

08-20-2008, 08:04 PM	#40
nekokami fruminous edugeek Posts: 6,745 Karma: 551260 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Northeast US Device: iPad, eBw 1150	Hey, are these the same llamas we liberated from the plot in last week's episode?

08-21-2008, 01:42 AM	#42
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	The Raider's Lament AVAILABILITY: In Stock. Product Number: 54697981 Tell a friend about this product! by Joseph Jaquinta Genre: Science Fiction Paperback: 167 pages Description: A rolicking jaunt from spaceport to spaceport chasing the lost treasure of a distant world. Synopsis: The reunited crew of The Raider's Lament take to the spacelanes looking for work. They get more than they bargined for when they take a contract from a mysterious woman from an outback world. Product Details: · Paperback: 167 pages · Binding: Perfect · Publisher: Sopwith Llama Publishing (April 2006) · Product Number: 54697981

08-21-2008, 09:05 AM	#43
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Nice to see Geoff barging in on the profits before the plot line is even fully developed. New guy and Robot Looking Chap glanced up from their slumbers on the beach chairs. R-L C's glance being from the sumptuous and comfy lap of Her Majesty, right at that moment. "Did you hear that?" aske New Guy. "What? The wheezing snuffles of a couple elderly and somewhat incontinent Basset Hounds, or the pedantic slapping of an Invisible Gibbon against the head of his handler?" "Wow, your ears are pretty goo to hear that going on all the way across an ocean. No, I meant the lack of constant rumination and spitting. I think The Blue One and The Fish are missing." "We should probably become concerned about that at some point in the future." R-L C dropped his head back into the lap of luxury with a contented sigh. "Probably. Good thing I off-loaded the espresso maker we pinched from Biggles' office before letting them run on the beach. Cuppa?"

08-21-2008, 09:14 AM	#44
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Knock-knock...

08-21-2008, 09:20 AM	#45
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Lieutenant Biggles looked up annoyedly from his TPS reports and barked out, "Whose their?"