The Vent and Rant Thread

[zelda_pinwheel]

new update : the police have just rung my doorbell. they wanted to know whether i knew the girl, whether i could confirm she really lives here, whether i would recognize either of the babies (no) and could confirm they were hers (not if you paid me).

apparently they have a translator but the girl has no way of proving the babies should legitimately be in her care, so they don't want to let her take them back with her until they can prove it one way or another.

i was not able to help much ; i told they i had (rarely) passed the girl in the entrance to the building, that once i had tried to talk to her about the noise but that she didn't speak french, that i had no idea if they babies were really hers but that it seemed really unlikely that a 16-year old girl could have two children who look to be between 1 and 2 years old.

they were hoping i would go to the station with them to identify the kids (they offered to accompany me, as if that would be motivation) but i told them i would really be of no use for that (which is completely true, i may have seen them once and didn't pay much attention to them. besides the fact i certainly don't want to help get them released into her care).

i didn't want to be too adamant but i did say the babies cried a lot (the policemen said "well babies do that you know" and i sort of want to smack him a little bit but i just said "no, really A LOT. i have to wear headphones to be able to work." since i was wearing them at the time perhaps that gave some credence) and that i thought it really unlikely they could be her children. i swear to god, if she comes back here with those two babies i think i'll scream myself.

[nekokami]

I hope no one is crazy enough to put those kids in her "care" again. But now I'm wondering whose kids they really are and how often their actual parents come by.

You've mentioned that the girl doesn't speak English and that you suspected she might be an illegal immigrant. Does she by any chance have any visible ethnicity, and does it match those of the babies? Not that it matters a lot, as I agree they're unlikely to be hers. I just wonder if this illegal baby-watching scheme is going to end up getting tied to a whole community of illegal immigrants or something. After all, why would anyone leave their kids in such poor care if they had a choice?

I don't know that much about immigration laws in France-- here in the US it can be prohibitively difficult to immigrate legally, so there are a lot of people here illegally, and they are generally paid a lot less than legal workers. It wouldn't be at all hard to imagine some of them leaving their kids with an unlicensed teenager while working.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by nekokami

I hope no one is crazy enough to put those kids in her "care" again. But now I'm wondering whose kids they really are and how often their actual parents come by.

yes, i hope that too, and i'm wondering the same thing, since these babies seem to spend a lot of time here. then again, there are other children in the building (far too many of them), and they make a lot of noise too, so maybe sometimes when i think it's one kid crying it's really a different one. hard to say.

You've mentioned that the girl doesn't speak English and that you suspected she might be an illegal immigrant. Does she by any chance have any visible ethnicity, and does it match those of the babies? Not that it matters a lot, as I agree they're unlikely to be hers. I just wonder if this illegal baby-watching scheme is going to end up getting tied to a whole community of illegal immigrants or something. After all, why would anyone leave their kids in such poor care if they had a choice?

I don't know that much about immigration laws in France-- here in the US it can be prohibitively difficult to immigrate legally, so there are a lot of people here illegally, and they are generally paid a lot less than legal workers. It wouldn't be at all hard to imagine some of them leaving their kids with an unlicensed teenager while working.

i'm pretty sure all the different people involved in this farce are chinese. they're definitely asian, anyway, and we have a very large chinese community in paris and one of the two "chinatown" neighborhoods is very near here, so it seems likely. here too there is a lot of illegal immigration, and given they don't speak any french and seem not to have any papers (according to the police who wanted me to identify the children) it seems likely to me that they are not here legally.

i'm not sure whether that is the reason though, or if it's just a case of tightly-knit immigrant communities sticking together, or maybe just a different cultural attitude towards proper childcare. there is another chinese family in the building (here legally, and who speaks at least a little french). they have 2 older children : the boy is probably around 10 and his sister is maybe 6, i would guess. i found out today (from a neighbor who is friendly with the mother. i'm not, because i can't stand her children, so by extension i can't stand her) that since the parents work, they just leave the two of them alone all day. that explains a lot : those two kids are hellions, and frequently the object of my rotten tomato / water balloon through the window fantasies. before i was furious with the parents because they didn't keep their kids in check ; now i'm furious because they're not even home to do that.

i find the whole situation a bit hard to take, every detail of this is just wrong.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i find the whole situation a bit hard to take, every detail of this is just wrong.

Sounds like it - perhaps the police will get social services (or the French equivalent) involved.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Sounds like it - perhaps the police will get social services (or the French equivalent) involved.

yes, i wouldn't normally think that would be a good thing but in this case it's clearly justified. something must be done.

i keep hearing a baby crying from somewhere not too far off and i'm getting paranoid that it's that same one who's come back again.

or maybe the noise has finally driven me completely crazy and i'm having auditory hallucinations.

[pshrynk]

take some Abilify and call me in the morning.

$125, please, you can pay the laddy at the entrance to the secret escape tunnel that NekoChan still refuses to use.

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by Patricia

I would be tempted to make the courtyard an unpleasant place for children. Sneak out at night and paint it with that anti-burglar paint that doesn't dry. Or scatter it with broken bottles. Or get Taylor in to scare them. Perhaps he could make them do remedial lessons or something.

Originally Posted by pshrynk

take some Abilify and call me in the morning.

$125, please, you can pay the laddy at the entrance to the secret escape tunnel that NekoChan still refuses to use.

2 bottles of chateau-neuf should do the trick...

$25, you can pay me when you can....

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

2 bottles of chateau-neuf should do the trick...

$25, you can pay me when you can....

Hey!!

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Hey!!

It's a tough commercial world out there...

[nekokami]

In the US, leaving a 6 year old and a 10 year old alone all day would probably be grounds for getting them removed from the home and placed in foster care, at least for a while. Is that how it works in France, too?

Yes, I agree that different cultural attitudes about child care can account for some of what you're seeing, but I have to say that my younger daughter was apparently NOT left alone in China while her parents were working, but was left with her grandparents. (And in fact, her grandmother dying may have been one of the things that led to the family breakdown that resulted in her going to the orphanage.) But I suppose your neighbors probably don't have that generation with them.

[tirsales]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Exterminate all the brutes!".

Zergling rush?

@zelda: Thats a rather annoying situation ... But the "is she their mother or at least a very close (blood-)relative"-question should be comparably easy to clarify? (Though it would take some days to get the results)

[RickyMaveety]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

now i wish i had called the police myself, a long time ago ; i was tempted before but i was afraid they were illegal immigrants and i would put them in a bad situation if i did. if i had realized that they were "babysitting" other people's kids and leaving them alone for hours at a time i think i would have felt differently.

i'm pretty sure all the other noisy children really do live here though (alas).

Just because they are illegals, don't let that stop you from calling the police. If they are, then they put themselves in any bad situation they find themselves in ... not you. And, if they had any brains at all, they would not call attention to themselves by having screaming babies going at it all hours of the day or night. You have the right to have a measure of peace and quiet in your own home. Period.

[Mindy]

There must be something in the air.
I have been invited to attend 'mediation' because I complained to the Council about the fact that the woman below and/or her two teenage sons can't control the volume of their music.
And then, as OH and I left the building to go to the cinema (to see Wall-E, it was fab) we were intercepted by a police car because a couple 'matching our description' (young? white? wearing jeans?) had been trying doors in the area but they concluded it probably wasn't us because 'we didn't try to run'. Good to know.
And then apparently the area was swarming with police cars when OH went out to meet friends earlier, he thought he overheard something about a missing child.
My next move will definitely be to a better neighbourhood (only two years or so to go......)

[Patricia]

I'm rather sympathetic to sans-papiers. But if people are careless enough to put their children at risk then the authorities need to protect the children, regardless of the parents' ethnicity or status.
France is a signatory to the UN convention on the Rights of the Child and should be acting to prevent neglect.
In your situation, I wouldn't hesitate to call the French social services if you suspect that children are left unattended. Use a mobile and ring from outside their door, so that the social worker can hear the noise. Assure them that the child has been distressed for at least an hour. When they arrive, mention the older children as well.

[pshrynk]

Mindy: OH? Not familiar with that abbreviation.