The Vent and Rant Thread

[RWood]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

sweet baby jesus on a cracker, i am going to run for public office and instate an official ratio of adults to children to be followed in all residential buildings. it should be something like 1 child per 50 adults, MAXIMUM. which means my building should contain no more than 0.5 children and we are SERIOUSLY over quota. something must be done IMMEDIATELY, the current situation is obvious COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.

(or, we could specify buildings which are zoned exclusively for children, and stick them all in there together where they would only bug each other. i would be fine with that as well as long as these 100% children buildings are nowhere near mine.)

The solution is simple, your building is underpopulated with adults. Therefore add more adults. Since there are ~25 there now, and extra 75 adults would allow for a total of 2 kids. Since you imply that there are more than that, say 10 kids, then you need to add a total of 475 more adults to your building. It will be tight sleeping quarters; but, think of it as being for the kids.

[Patricia]

Zelda, there is a way to deter children and teenagers from congregating in the vicinity of your apartment.
A Welsh firm developed a device called the Mosquito. It emits a high-pitched sound only audible to the young. (Our ears just wouldn't hear it at all.) You place the device where gangs of youths gather, and they get irritated and move on.
http://www.compoundsecurity.co.uk/de...t_news_26.html

Actually, they normally just capture the sound as a mobile phone ringtone, which their teachers can't hear.
Here's a link to an mp3. I can't hear it.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...toryId=5434687

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

"Children are allergic to me - they come out in lumps." Tony Hancock

you don't suppose he would agree to come and loiter around my courtyard for a while ? possibly for a fee ?

Originally Posted by Patricia

Zelda, there is a way to deter children and teenagers from congregating in the vicinity of your apartment.
A Welsh firm developed a device called the Mosquito. It emits a high-pitched sound only audible to the young. (Our ears just wouldn't hear it at all.) You place the device where gangs of youths gather, and they get irritated and move on.
http://www.compoundsecurity.co.uk/de...t_news_26.html

Actually, they normally just capture the sound as a mobile phone ringtone, which their teachers can't hear.
Here's a link to an mp3. I can't hear it.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...toryId=5434687

actually i've heard of the mosquito noise and believe me, patricia, i would love to do that. the problem is, these children actually live here. they are all very young (i would say all under 10 and most under 4) and their irresponsible, inconsiderate, unworthy parents shunt them out to play all day long in the (tiny, reverberating, just underneath my windows...) inside courtyard. their favorite game is "who can produce the loudest, shrillest, noise, and for the longest time without interruption ?" when they are not actively competing they are in intensive training, or else they are having temper tantrums (their day can be split up into these three activities in proportions of roughly 30% 30% and 30%, with the remaining 10% being allocated to breaking things or strewing the contents of the trashcan around the place). so i believe the only viable solution is really to ship them all to a desert island somewhere. or at least to the suburbs. or the countryside, which is severely underpopulated so they wouldn't be bothering anyone.

thus my campaign. perhaps i should modify my slogan slightly to "you kids get out of my (court)yard !!"

[zelda_pinwheel]

wood, while your solution would be mathematically viable, the ultimate goal is actually to reduce the number of small, noisy children in my immediate vicinity, not just to inflate the other demographics in order to attain the proper ratio. but thank you for your suggestion.

[slayda]

Originally Posted by Patricia

An alternative to the computer goddess. This USB stick has 'Hail Mary, save our data' on her halo.
Unfortunately, she is 69 euros.
http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2007/11...rgin_mary_usb/

But is she blasphemous, or just kitsch?
Putting a virgin at the end of a male connection is not very polite.


http://www.gearfuse.com/virgin-mary-...emous-storage/

Especially for 69 euros.

[Patricia]

In the long term, Wood's 'solution' would actually generate more children.
You know what happens when people are hept in close proximity...

[Greg Anos]

(Sigh) We were all there once...Queen Z, my guest suite is available (with separate plumbing) in my quiet, child-free domain, located in the heart of gas-guzzling Texas suburbia, should you need a few day's decompression... - RSE

[slayda]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

you don't suppose he would agree to come and loiter around my courtyard for a while ? possibly for a fee ?

actually i've heard of the mosquito noise and believe me, patricia, i would love to do that. the problem is, these children actually live here. they are all very young (i would say all under 10 and most under 4) and their irresponsible, inconsiderate, unworthy parents shunt them out to play all day long in the (tiny, reverberating, just underneath my windows...) inside courtyard. their favorite game is "who can produce the loudest, shrillest, noise, and for the longest time without interruption ?" when they are not actively competing they are in intensive training, or else they are having temper tantrums (their day can be split up into these three activities in proportions of roughly 30% 30% and 30%, with the remaining 10% being allocated to breaking things or strewing the contents of the trashcan around the place). so i believe the only viable solution is really to ship them all to a desert island somewhere. or at least to the suburbs. or the countryside, which is severely underpopulated so they wouldn't be bothering anyone.

thus my campaign. perhaps i should modify my slogan slightly to "you kids get out of my (court)yard !!"

I've heard that ground, pureed child makes a good cat food.
Just a thought.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by slayda

Especially for 69 euros.

Cunning pricing!

(Nearer to 70 Euros than you think.)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Patricia

In the long term, Wood's 'solution' would actually generate more children.
You know what happens when people are hept in close proximity...

lord preserve us. that hadn't even occurred to me. it's a good thing other people are keeping a clear head so we can all avoid the pitfalls.

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

(Sigh) We were all there once...Queen Z, my guest suite is available (with separate plumbing) in my quiet, child-free domain, located in the heart of gas-guzzling Texas suburbia, should you need a few day's decompression... - RSE

careful what you propose, i might take you up on that one of these days...

Originally Posted by slayda

I've heard that ground, pureed child makes a good cat food.
Just a thought.

don't tempt me.

really, don't.

[Taylor514ce]

Bose QuietComfort2 Acoustic Noise Canceling Headphones. One of my best investments.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

Bose QuietComfort2 Acoustic Noise Canceling Headphones. One of my best investments.

yes actually i'm planning to buy some better quality headphones actually (thanks for the recommendation) since that is the form my evasive action usually takes. the problem is i get tired of wearing headphones all damned day every day. plus the ones i have now make my ears hurt after a while (are the bose ones comfortable ?).

[Taylor514ce]

Yes, I specifically purchased the model that completely covers the ears, rather than the one that rides on top of the ears. So yes, they are bulky and look particularly dorky on a bald man's head, but I'm willing to pay the price. With them on I can't hear the snickering anyway.

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

Yes, I specifically purchased the model that completely covers the ears, rather than the one that rides on top of the ears. So yes, they are bulky and look particularly dorky on a bald man's head, but I'm willing to pay the price. With them on I can't hear the snickering anyway.

And that works out well for all involved.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

Yes, I specifically purchased the model that completely covers the ears, rather than the one that rides on top of the ears. So yes, they are bulky and look particularly dorky on a bald man's head, but I'm willing to pay the price. With them on I can't hear the snickering anyway.

well my current headphones are even more gigantic (i look just like the napster cat when i'm wearing them) but i really don't care about that (i think they give me that stylie dj look). but. 300$ for a pair of headphones ???? three HUNDRED dollars ?????? holy expensive headphones batman, those things better double as a raygun, a transponder, and some kind of matter transporter device (what's that word i'm looking for ? you know, they have them on doctor who and such).

also, are they wireless ? because if they're not wireless they're really not going to work for me. they look like they have wires, in the user photos on amazon.