Unutterably Silly Ministry of Unutterable Silliness

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

you said Gibbon !!! that's the secret word !! here comes the duck...

With a quack quack here and a quack quack there...

seriously though, what does havering mean ? i've heard it in a song, but even the context was not very helpful.

"Haver" is the sound the Hoover vacuum cleaner makes when you accidentally suck up an item of underclothing.

i'm suspecting there's actually a sixth *secret* meaning which only true scots know.)

I believe you've struck the truth at the core of the Scottish language - it all has a sixth secret meaning which only true Scots know.

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i'll have you know i am EXCELLENT at being on vacation (which, you'll recall, is my primary ministerial duty). so is pshrynk, and it's even in his title.

Unfortunately, between MR, shums, your apparentl disinclination for sleep, and work, no-one has ever seen you actually perform your duties. We actively encourage you to do so, or, at least, we will once we get back from vacation.

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

Queen's Consort. My public duties involve wearing nice clothes and having a firm, dry handshake.

...and your private duties are nobody's business but your own.

[QUOTE=LazyScot;226609]Wow. I am deeply honoured. And I will fulfill my ministerial roles to the best of my abilities -- i.e. I will endevour to be the first out, and take as many of you as possible.

Originally Posted by nekokami

I'm going back to being invisible. For the last time, I'm not interested in leaving!!!

Nevermind, neko. It's an appropriate designation for LazyScot, since the President has also given him the portfolio of Undersecretary of Futility, thus, once and for all, confirming what we've been saying all along:

Attempted Escape is Futile!

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

Actually, Marc is High Gibbonate of the Holy Order of Skwerl-Feeders, which means that his principal duty is Ordaining.

Oh, dear. I've got to ordain too? Oh, dear, oh dear. Priests and Priestesses, holy threads, icons, official transport vehicles for the Sacred Army, ordination rituals, a pantheon to invent, err, I mean, to receive the Word from...why, this is much more complicated than initially volunteered for. Still, I'm sure being a Religious Leader isn't all bad. There's probably some perks I haven't though of.

i'm thinking it might be a good idea to give him the Q portfolio as well, though, now that you mention it. i'll let him know.

Excellent. I've always wanted to be called "Q" (the only letter of the well-known 26 that can't be pronounced independently). I wonder if this will help me fit-out my Intergalactically crusading Church? [insert evil...I mean, holy and sanctified, laugh]

...
Vice Premiera of Situational Ethics : Patricia.
...

I thought Patricia was "Vice President", you, to keep the bastards (by which I mean "pshrynk") honest (or at least in a position of plausible deniability). After all, to avoid pressassination he has to live up to a standard that ensures people don't think that getting him out of the way automatically makes the role fall to someone likely far more suitable and likeable in the role.

Still, I'm High Gibbonate, and the separation of Church and State is of supreme importance (so my gods tell me). So, I'll just stay out of it, and keep up with encouraging further conversions (ahh, "electrodes" - they help bring so many nearer to the gods).

Cheers,
Marc
High Gibbonate
Q

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

"Haver" is the sound the Hoover vacuum cleaner makes when you accidentally suck up an item of underclothing.

well finally a straight answer. i don't know what i'd do without you, marc.

I believe you've struck the truth at the core of the Scottish language - it all has a sixth secret meaning which only true Scots know.

that does make sense.

Unfortunately, between MR, shums, your apparentl disinclination for sleep, and work, no-one has ever seen you actually perform your duties. We actively encourage you to do so, or, at least, we will once we get back from vacation.

*sigh* you're right about that. We are working on it. so far We have not made significant progress but We refuse to despair, since the gentle glow of the prospect of vacation in the indistinct future like a beacon of hope is sometimes the only thing that gives sense to the world.

Oh, dear. I've got to ordain too? Oh, dear, oh dear. Priests and Priestesses, holy threads, icons, official transport vehicles for the Sacred Army, ordination rituals, a pantheon to invent, err, I mean, to receive the Word from...why, this is much more complicated than initially volunteered for. Still, I'm sure being a Religious Leader isn't all bad. There's probably some perks I haven't though of.

yes well, what's that quotation again ? "no rest for the wicked but nonetheless inducted into high office" ?

Excellent. I've always wanted to be called "Q" (the only letter of the well-known 26 that can't be pronounced independently). I wonder if this will help me fit-out my Intergalactically crusading Church? [insert evil...I mean, holy and sanctified, laugh]

i knew you were the Gibbonate for the job.

I thought Patricia was "Vice President", you, to keep the bastards (by which I mean "pshrynk") honest (or at least in a position of plausible deniability). After all, to avoid pressassination he has to live up to a standard that ensures people don't think that getting him out of the way automatically makes the role fall to someone likely far more suitable and likeable in the role.

Still, I'm High Gibbonate, and the separation of Church and State is of supreme importance (so my gods tell me). So, I'll just stay out of it, and keep up with encouraging further conversions (ahh, "electrodes" - they help bring so many nearer to the gods).

Cheers,
Marc
High Gibbonate
Q

now see, if y'all keep mixing up The Ministry with the pshrynk administration it's just going to be chaos around here (moreso than usual, i mean). yet another copy / paste from The Ministry bulletin board (it's been clearly posted in the Archival Library on Alpha Centauri 8 for months now, you really have no excuse not to know about it. sheesh).

REMINDER : all nominations for pshrynk's cabinet are at the exclusive discretion of pshrynk and completely independant of one's status / title in the Ministry.

for example, in the pshrynk administration, pshrynk is president, whereas in the Ministry he is Sub-Minister of Taking a Vacation. similarly, in the pshrynk administration i am special envoy to Barbados (i only go there for "fact finding" trips, and my responsibilities are mainly not forgetting the sunblock while lying on the beach), whereas in the Ministry, We are Queen (although we do find the royal duty of capitalizing the "Royal We" somewhat tiresome, and are considering decreeing a moratorium on all capital letters).

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

that does make sense.

It did? I'm scared now.

REMINDER : all nominations for pshrynk's cabinet are at the exclusive discretion of pshrynk and completely independant of one's status / title in the Ministry.

So...what am I doing in his cabinet again (other than funding the campaign and ensuring the appropriate result)?

~sigh~ I get so confused. I really shouldn't have mixed that Zany Carter Deluxe with LazyScot's medication and reduced it to a syrup to pour over those funky mushrooms I had for dinner. I knew something was wrong when everyone started speaking in the colour blue.

whereas in the Ministry, We are Queen

Possibly a cause of my confusion. This side of the next daylight, you are Queen everywhere for me.

Cheers,
Marc (now off to dream of the next daylight)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

So...what am I doing in his cabinet again (other than funding the campaign and ensuring the appropriate result)?

you'll have to take that up with pshrynk. he moves in mysterious ways. (or was that someone else ? regardless, i don't know.)

~sigh~ I get so confused. I really shouldn't have mixed that Zany Carter Deluxe with LazyScot's medication and reduced it to a syrup to pour over those funky mushrooms I had for dinner. I knew something was wrong when everyone started speaking in the colour blue.

always a sign that you've had one too many zany carter deluxes and slipped into the alternate dimension they invoke, when taken in sufficient quantity. the warning is clearly printed on the bottle : "objects in mirror may be closer than they appear." (wait a minute. that's not the warning i was looking for...)

Possibly a cause of my confusion. This side of the next daylight, you are Queen everywhere for me.

Cheers,
Marc (now off to dream of the next daylight)

aw, you're so sweet. We are touched. sweet dreams...

[Mindy]

LOLOLOLOL.
Dunno if anyone else has noticed but, in line with current discussions, the advertising at the bottom of the page is offering 'Church Management Software'

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by Mindy

LOLOLOLOL.
Dunno if anyone else has noticed but, in line with current discussions, the advertising at the bottom of the page is offering 'Church Management Software'

i have sneaky feeling the adverts at the bottom of the page are cunningly chosen to follow the forum key-words, but an expert could confirm...I've seen some wonderful links on occasion...

[Mindy]

That was my conclusion too, but amusing nonetheless

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by Mindy

That was my conclusion too, but amusing nonetheless

indupitably so...

[Taylor514ce]

Yes, context-sensitive advertising is by nature sensitive to the context. It's rather the whole point. How long have you been on this "internet thing", GeoffC? Google stole it while you were asleep.

Thank goodness the MR Nobles have refused to implement IntelliTXT thus far. It's first appearance on a forum is synonymous with my last.

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

Yes, context-sensitive advertising is by nature sensitive to the context. It's rather the whole point. How long have you been on this "internet thing", GeoffC? Google stole it while you were asleep.

Thank goodness the MR Nobles have refused to implement IntelliTXT thus far. It's first appearance on a forum is synonymous with my last.

cheek ... that's the second post you've made me feel like a right wally ...

[RWood]

Got this PDF in the email recently advertising Larry's Learning Loft. Thought I would share.

[nekokami]

I may have an additional post as Intermittent Limner.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

i have sneaky feeling the adverts at the bottom of the page are cunningly chosen to follow the forum key-words, but an expert could confirm...I've seen some wonderful links on occasion...

Product Placement. It's part of my jetpack deal with MR. If you look closely at the CMS you will see that it's provided by Montsnmags Enterprises, written by a now-somewhat-less-mysterious person known as "Q", and, lest you think something has gone wrong with this universe, downloading the trial version of the software will show you that a significant number of the management modules reference and are created along the lines of large portions of the The Art of War.

JOIN UP TODAY! Your MR Forum Needs YOU! [picture someone who looks like Colonel Sanders dressed in red, white and blue, pointing what you hope is a chicken drumstick at you at this point]

Cheers,
Q

[Taylor514ce]

Geoff: I thought that Google's advertising model, AdWords, and AdSense, would have been universal knowledge by now! The ads are not chosen, at least not by MR staffers, or humans anywhere, actually. Advertisers bid on keywords. Google supplies a script which parses the words on a page, comparing the words with its bank of available ads, and serves them up.

Google gives the website owner a cut of the revenue.

Google is also notorious for unilaterally cutting web site owners out of the program based on accusations of fraud, with no explanation or appeal.

Whoops... someone got me started on Google again. I'll stop now. Whistle a happy tune.

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

Geoff: I thought that Google's advertising model, AdWords, and AdSense, would have been universal knowledge by now!

No, why on earth should you think that...

I use Google as a tool, but I don't delve into the whys and wherefores...