The Vent and Rant Thread

[RickyMaveety]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

(^^#$^*)(&*&%$&%**!!!!!!!! incompetent night shift nurses and ward secretaries!!!!!!

It woudl seem that it is waaaaaay too much to ask that they do their jobs. I came in this morning and there were for patients listed for admits over night. As the morning dribbled on the nurses kept coming to me with "They missed an admit that you now have to work up in limited time."


AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Now, pshrynk, you know (don't you?) that that is precisely why those people work the graveyard shift?? So they can get away with anything during a period of limited supervision?? And, usually get paid more in the way of shift differential to do so??

About the last thing anyone would ever wish for is to be admitted to any hospital for any reason ... on the graveyard shift. That's as close as you can get to the kiss of death.

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by RickyMaveety

Now, pshrynk, you know (don't you?) that that is precisely why those people work the graveyard shift?? So they can get away with anything during a period of limited supervision?? And, usually get paid more in the way of shift differential to do so??

About the last thing anyone would ever wish for is to be admitted to any hospital for any reason ... on the graveyard shift. That's as close as you can get to the kiss of death.

Oh, I could rant for hours aobut the graveyard shift. Such as calls at 1:00 AM to get a maalox order when they're feeling particularly passive aggressive.

[RickyMaveety]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Oh, I could rant for hours aobut the graveyard shift. Such as calls at 1:00 AM to get a maalox order when they're feeling particularly passive aggressive.

Oh yeah ... I know them well. Like the time they called me out at about 2 or 3 in the morning, in the middle of a driving blizzard, and me with a case of walking pneumonia, and then handed me a urine specimen the color of your average American stop sign, told me the patient was on her honeymoon, and did I "think" she had blood in her urine??

No ... really .... her urine is that color because she dumped a can of red paint in it. YES, OF COURSE SHE'S GOT BLOOD IN HER URINE!! SHE'S GOT HONEYMOON CYSTITIS!!! May I please go back to bed and die in peace now?? (Cripes ... couldn't they just have asked me that over the phone?? I could have done that diagnosis from 20 miles outside of town.)

And, people ask me why I left medicine for the law. Very few of my current clients have really stupid questions that can't possibly wait until the next morning. Now, the real emergencies never bothered me .... but the OMG, you are kidding me stuff just seemed to happen all the time, that, and the "yes, we knew it was probably an emergency 12 hours ago, but we thought we'd wait until the kid was near death before we brought him in."

[nekokami]

Erk. I think I'll stick to computers.

[nekokami]

I was out with my husband and younger daughter this evening and saw this delightful item in a store we visited:

New Parent Apology Cards

Excerpt:

It is to engage in severe understatement to suggest that things have been a bit amplified on our side of the fence lately. The 3a.m. crying has become extraordinary. In fact, it probably comes as little surprise to you to learn that we've been contacted by the FBI about putting our baby's eardrum-busting cry on loudspeakers for use in standoffs with militia compounds. We are so very sorry. Your complimentary earplugs will arrive shortly.

SORRY

I thought of Z-chan right away, of course, but there are probably others who would like to give these to various parental units in their vicinities.

(The same author also makes a little booklet of love notes that might be useful for happier occasions. )

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by nekokami

I was out with my husband and younger daughter this evening and saw this delightful item in a store we visited:

New Parent Apology Cards

Excerpt:



I thought of Z-chan right away, of course, but there are probably others who would like to give these to various parental units in their vicinities.

(The same author also makes a little booklet of love notes that might be useful for happier occasions. )

aw neko-chan, thanks for thinking of me.

*sigh* if only the people actually in position to need such cards had as much insight and sensitivity as you. it does warm the cockles of my heart to know that there is at least one soul in the world who cares enough to make them ; it can't completely make up for the pain and suffering that has been inflicted on me and the entire world of people whose neighbors have small, noisy children, but at least i feel somewhat less alone. slightly vindicated, perhaps, even.

do they come in chinese though ? the noisiest children in my building all seem to be chinese. although there is an arab girl whose lungs must have timelord technology (bigger on the inside than on the outside). it's clearly hereditary, because you should hear her mother, especially when she's on the cellphone in the courtyard (actually, you probably *can* hear her, all the way over there). the two of them give me strong yearnings to buy up all the rotten tomatoes and cracked eggs at the end of the market, and stockpile them next to the window, along with perhaps some large water balloons. i'm hoping that there's a special circle in hell reserved for children like that, and their parents. and have i mentioned that woman is pregnant ? i'm soooo happy. Sartre had it right when he said "l'enfer, c'est les autres." ("hell is other people.")

[nekokami]

I thought it was "L'enfer, c'est les enfants"? (Well, that's exhausted my pseudo-French for the day....)

I could probably arrange to have the cards translated into Chinese. But I've found that tossing a few jelly cups towards the kids tends to quiet them down. Asian markets stock them. I'm assuming there are Asian markets in Paris....

We don't have screaming kids near us, but we do have a family with several yappy little dogs. (And one big woofer.) Apologies to people who love dogs, but the noise is unreal at times. I've often fantasized about inventing a kind of grenade that one could toss into a yard that would emit a gas that would numb the vocal cords, painlessly and humanely silencing dogs.

Actually, that might work for small children, as well.

[RickyMaveety]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

aw neko-chan, thanks for thinking of me.

*sigh* if only the people actually in position to need such cards had as much insight and sensitivity as you. it does warm the cockles of my heart to know that there is at least one soul in the world who cares enough to make them ; it can't completely make up for the pain and suffering that has been inflicted on me and the entire world of people whose neighbors have small, noisy children, but at least i feel somewhat less alone. slightly vindicated, perhaps, even.

do they come in chinese though ? the noisiest children in my building all seem to be chinese. although there is an arab girl whose lungs must have timelord technology (bigger on the inside than on the outside). it's clearly hereditary, because you should hear her mother, especially when she's on the cellphone in the courtyard (actually, you probably *can* hear her, all the way over there). the two of them give me strong yearnings to buy up all the rotten tomatoes and cracked eggs at the end of the market, and stockpile them next to the window, along with perhaps some large water balloons. i'm hoping that there's a special circle in hell reserved for children like that, and their parents. and have i mentioned that woman is pregnant ? i'm soooo happy. Sartre had it right when he said "l'enfer, c'est les autres." ("hell is other people.")

That's part of what finally drove me out of condo living. That, and the cigar smoke drifting up from my downstairs neighbor.

Now, I have to worry about whether my new neighbors will be bothered by Megan and Jordan's barking. Their house is only about 50 or 60 feet away from mine (still under construction), and there are times the girls do bark.

I've already started apologising in advance for any barking that may occur, and have asked them both to tell me if and when it bothers them (rather than just ringing the doorbell and punching me out when I come to the door). I've also told them where the dog treats are hidden ... give the girls a treat and they will shut up for hours at a time.

Oh well ... time to feed the cats and log off for the night. I've had it for the day.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by nekokami

I thought it was "L'enfer, c'est les enfants"? (Well, that's exhausted my pseudo-French for the day....)

that would be the updated, more accurate version (technically, it's my personal version, but sartre gets more respect. so far.). sartre clearly was lucky enough to have found an appartment in a building with only old people, the bastard.

I could probably arrange to have the cards translated into Chinese. But I've found that tossing a few jelly cups towards the kids tends to quiet them down. Asian markets stock them. I'm assuming there are Asian markets in Paris....

tons, several within one métro station of my house (i live near the smaller, dirtier, less potentially glamourous Chinatown (there are two in paris, although the other one is not very glamourous either, just a few of the shops are more expensive), thus the comparatively high percentage of chinese families in the building. jelly cups you say ? what are those exactly ? might they be those strange desserts in metal, thimble-shaped capsules that (according to the friend who tried to make me eat one, once) you must suck out of the package as if you were sucking an egg, and which have the strange gelatinous texture of soft flan ? i may try that. on the other hand, i worry about the effect on my sanity and eardrums of those children with added sugar.

We don't have screaming kids near us, but we do have a family with several yappy little dogs. (And one big woofer.) Apologies to people who love dogs, but the noise is unreal at times.

oh god, yappy dogs. i had a picnic in a park last night with a friend of mine and there was a yappy dog nearby. when it first started it made my hair stand right on end because it sounded as if it were in extreme pain, but in fact it was just standing there, on the end of its leash, yipping away at the park bench, apparently.

I've often fantasized about inventing a kind of grenade that one could toss into a yard that would emit a gas that would numb the vocal cords, painlessly and humanely silencing dogs.

Actually, that might work for small children, as well.

oh my god, that is PERFECT !!!!! how can we do this ? do you know any mercenary biologists ??? does ANYONE around here ? there must be at least one... i bet madam broshkina has contacts like that... maybe we should start with helium ; i believe it makes your voice go funny because it temporarily paralyses the vocal cords a bit (i could be wrong of course, but whatever) ; we should see about amplifying this effect. oh, and if we could make the voices become so high-pitched that only dogs could hear them, we might be able to make two hits with one stone, and take out even more noise-making elements than those within the radius of the grenade's action.

seriously, *why* has no-one thought of this before ????

[nekokami]

Usually the jelly cups I've seen have been in plastic thimble-shaped capsules, but yes, it sounds like we're talking about the same thing. The sugar issue could be relevant, though.

Regarding helium, it changes the pitch of the voice due to the lighter weight of the molecules, I thought. An aerosolized muscle relaxant might work....

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by nekokami

Usually the jelly cups I've seen have been in plastic thimble-shaped capsules, but yes, it sounds like we're talking about the same thing. The sugar issue could be relevant, though.

maybe they're plastic. i can't remember now. i might be confusing them with those little espresso machine dosettes.

Regarding helium, it changes the pitch of the voice due to the lighter weight of the molecules, I thought. An aerosolized muscle relaxant might work....

you're probably right about the helium, i really have no idea. we could try a muscle relaxant as well ; if we're lucky, it could have the added bonus of making them slow and sleepy, then they would probably cause less overall damage as well.

now that i think about it, we might be able to achieve similar effects if we just lace those jelly cups with some rum, or vodka, if we can get them to eat *enough* of them.

[UncleDuke]

i like naples, best food in italy, i like food

[UncleDuke]

small children should be leashed and what's wrong with cigar smoke?

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by UncleDuke

small children should be leashed and what's wrong with cigar smoke?

and, more importantly, muzzled.

[GeoffC]

I am sure I've read somewhere that there are noise cancelling equipment, they take in the sound and then neutralise it...originally designed for installation in cars. Marc may be able to design something for you, especially after the wonderful jet-pack....