Silliness A Duck, armadillo, cat, Panda etc walk into a bar! - Page 18

desertgrandma · 07-24-2008, 11:02 PM

Thank you, Thank you......let's see....(thinking....hard......)

OH! There was a young man from Nan...............uh.........never mind.

slayda · 07-24-2008, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Thank you, Thank you......let's see....(thinking....hard......)

OH! There was a young man from Nan...............uh.........never mind.

Yeah, but he went.

jerryleejr · 07-24-2008, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Thank you, Thank you......let's see....(thinking....hard......)

OH! There was a young man from Nan...............uh.........never mind.

Really I always wanted to go to Nantucket. Wonder what there is to do there??

JJ

desertgrandma · 07-25-2008, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerryleejr

Really I always wanted to go to Nantucket. Wonder what there is to do there??

JJ

See? Even the duck would have just 'let it go'........but you? Noooooo...... Its the Monkey, people, all this time its been "The Monkey!"

Watch your bananas!

montsnmags · 07-25-2008, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

...
Watch your bananas!

Is that a euphemism? If it's not, JJ can go to Nantucket and buy something to put them in, like a bucket. Or, when he's done with eating one and only has a skin left he can chuck it. He might want to make something tropical for dinner with one, in which case he can stuff a chicken - just remember to pluck it. If he goes to Nantucket by sailing boat, he needs to watch the boom and remember to duck it. Go easy at the wharf; a mate of mine came in too fast once and struck it. If he's got too much baggage for the yacht, he could always truck it. He wants to look his best too, so if he wears his good shirt he need to remember to tuck it.

Hey, look. There's some chewing gum on my bedpost. So that's where I stuck it.

Cheers

desertgrandma · 07-25-2008, 01:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Is that a euphemism? If it's not, JJ can go to Nantucket and buy something to put them in, like a bucket. Or, when he's done with eating one and only has a skin left he can chuck it. He might want to make something tropical for dinner with one, in which case he can stuff a chicken - just remember to pluck it. If he goes to Nantucket by sailing boat, he needs to watch the boom and remember to duck it. Go easy at the wharf; a mate of mine came in too fast once and struck it. If he's got too much baggage for the yacht, he could always truck it. He wants to look his best too, so if he wears his good shirt he need to remember to tuck it.

Hey, look. There's some chewing gum on my bedpost. So that's where I stuck it.

Cheers

He may first need to make a buck, because bananas bring good luck, sure hope he doesn't get struck by a stray puck, which came flying out of the muck, covered by guck, hit by someone named Chuck, which made the Monkey say "Yuck!!"

jerryleejr · 07-25-2008, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Is that a euphemism? If it's not, JJ can go to Nantucket and buy something to put them in, like a bucket. Or, when he's done with eating one and only has a skin left he can chuck it. He might want to make something tropical for dinner with one, in which case he can stuff a chicken - just remember to pluck it. If he goes to Nantucket by sailing boat, he needs to watch the boom and remember to duck it. Go easy at the wharf; a mate of mine came in too fast once and struck it. If he's got too much baggage for the yacht, he could always truck it. He wants to look his best too, so if he wears his good shirt he need to remember to tuck it.

Hey, look. There's some chewing gum on my bedpost. So that's where I stuck it.

Cheers

It always comes back to the Duck... I knew it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

He may first need to make a buck, because bananas bring good luck, sure hope he doesn't get struck by a stray puck, which came flying out of the muck, covered by guck, hit by someone named Chuck, which made the Monkey say "Yuck!!"

For some reason I think there is a subliminal message in here...

desertgrandma · 07-25-2008, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerryleejr

It always comes back to the Duck... I knew it!

For some reason I think there is a subliminal message in here...

But, JJ, the driver was thunderstruck when the firetruck ran over the woodchuck........it made him upchuck!!

GeoffC · 07-25-2008, 03:32 AM

keep 'em coming folks...these are hilarious...

said the actress to the bishops as they all stood in line...

Mindy · 07-25-2008, 06:24 AM

Not sure how this will work in type, but:

How do you get an elephant in a Safeway's* plastic bag?
Take the s out of Safe and the F out of Way

(Safeway is a supermarket in the UK for reference, but this is not an important detail)

On safer ground:

What do you call a judge with no fingers?
Justice Thumbs

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck

And, in an attempt to add to the hilarity and mayhem:

Superman goes to bed wearing Chuck Norris pyjamas.

(apologies in advance for anyone who has been subjected to, is yet to be subjected to, or who may subsequently become embroiled in the 'Chuck Norris Facts' phenomena)

jerryleejr · 07-25-2008, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

But, JJ, the driver was thunderstruck when the firetruck ran over the woodchuck........it made him upchuck!!

So are you saying that the Driver didnt give a _____ so anyway back to the thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindy

Not sure how this will work in type, but:

How do you get an elephant in a Safeway's* plastic bag?
Take the s out of Safe and the F out of Way

(Safeway is a supermarket in the UK for reference, but this is not an important detail)

On safer ground:

What do you call a judge with no fingers?
Justice Thumbs

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck

And, in an attempt to add to the hilarity and mayhem:

Superman goes to bed wearing Chuck Norris pyjamas.

(apologies in advance for anyone who has been subjected to, is yet to be subjected to, or who may subsequently become embroiled in the 'Chuck Norris Facts' phenomena)

We would like to refer to it as Duck Norris around these parts!

JJ

daffy4u · 07-25-2008, 07:23 AM

Man, a lot sure happens around here at (my) night.

pshrynk · 07-25-2008, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Is that a euphemism? If it's not, JJ can go to Nantucket and buy something to put them in, like a bucket. Or, when he's done with eating one and only has a skin left he can chuck it. He might want to make something tropical for dinner with one, in which case he can stuff a chicken - just remember to pluck it. If he goes to Nantucket by sailing boat, he needs to watch the boom and remember to duck it. Go easy at the wharf; a mate of mine came in too fast once and struck it. If he's got too much baggage for the yacht, he could always truck it. He wants to look his best too, so if he wears his good shirt he need to remember to tuck it.

Hey, look. There's some chewing gum on my bedpost. So that's where I stuck it.

Cheers

I'm just going to have to have you killed now.

$250, please. You can pay the laddy at the door.

Barcey · 07-25-2008, 09:11 AM

... an old one.

An Armadillo, a Panda and a Duck are sitting at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter walks up to the armadillo and asks what happened.

The armadillo say "I don't know I was just walking down the street and a fridge came through a window and landed on my head."

Saint Peter asks the panda what happened.

The panda says, "I was sure my wife was cheating on me with a sailor. I came home early one day and there was a sailor's cap on the floor. I was furious and looked all through the apartment and couldn't find him. In a fit of rage I picked up the fridge and tossed it out the window. I felt a pain in my chest and next thing I was here."

Saint Peter asked the duck what happened.

The duck said, "I don't know. I was just sitting in a fridge minding my own business..."

GeoffC · 07-25-2008, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

I'm just going to have to have you killed now.

$250, please. You can pay the laddy at the door.

At that price I'm afraid we can only trim his toe-nails...

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07-24-2008, 11:02 PM	#256
desertgrandma Enjoying the show.... Posts: 14,270 Karma: 10462843 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Arizona Device: A K1, Kindle Paperwhite, an Ipod, IPad2, Iphone, an Ipad Mini & macAir	Thank you, Thank you......let's see....(thinking....hard......) OH! There was a young man from Nan...............uh.........never mind.

07-25-2008, 03:32 AM	#264
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	keep 'em coming folks...these are hilarious... said the actress to the bishops as they all stood in line...

07-25-2008, 06:24 AM	#265
Mindy Away with the Faeries Posts: 483 Karma: 8459 Join Date: May 2008 Location: Edinburgh, Scotland Device: Sony PRS 650	Not sure how this will work in type, but: How do you get an elephant in a Safeway's* plastic bag? Take the s out of Safe and the F out of Way (Safeway is a supermarket in the UK for reference, but this is not an important detail) On safer ground: What do you call a judge with no fingers? Justice Thumbs What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers? A nervous wreck And, in an attempt to add to the hilarity and mayhem: Superman goes to bed wearing Chuck Norris pyjamas. (apologies in advance for anyone who has been subjected to, is yet to be subjected to, or who may subsequently become embroiled in the 'Chuck Norris Facts' phenomena)

07-25-2008, 07:23 AM	#267
daffy4u I'm Super Kindle-icious Posts: 6,734 Karma: 2434103 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Long Drive, Calinadia Candafornia Device: KDXG, KT, Oasis	Man, a lot sure happens around here at (my) night.

07-25-2008, 09:11 AM	#269
Barcey Wizard Posts: 1,531 Karma: 8059866 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Canada Device: Kobo H2O / Aura HD / Glo / iPad3	... an old one. An Armadillo, a Panda and a Duck are sitting at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter walks up to the armadillo and asks what happened. The armadillo say "I don't know I was just walking down the street and a fridge came through a window and landed on my head." Saint Peter asks the panda what happened. The panda says, "I was sure my wife was cheating on me with a sailor. I came home early one day and there was a sailor's cap on the floor. I was furious and looked all through the apartment and couldn't find him. In a fit of rage I picked up the fridge and tossed it out the window. I felt a pain in my chest and next thing I was here." Saint Peter asked the duck what happened. The duck said, "I don't know. I was just sitting in a fridge minding my own business..."